Oy- everyone is forgetting everything but me!

OwningAHome1981

My mom asked my FMIL for a list of who she wanted to invite on her side to my shower. This was 2 weeks ago we are still waiting. My mom was supposed to call to book the photographer 3 weeks ago, and she keeps forgetting to do it. 3 girls keep forgetting to order their dresses! I suppose I could call to book the photographer but I'm not the one that is paying so she has to come down there with the money (which she will probably forget to do).

How do I come off as not a bridezilla and yet tactfully remind these people that these things need to be done? I know it's holiday season and people ave a lot on their plates, do I wait til the new year to address these things again?

I find wedding planning so stressful. I really feel like at this point and I want to remove myself from it and let everyone else plan and just have them let me know when to show up (which they will prob forget to do)- but I am afraid if I am not involved in the planning- it's not a matter of not getting what we want- it is a matter of people forgetting to dthings!

Oy, want something done right, do it yourself, right?

achiduck

1) Book the photographer yourself.

2) Send an e-mail to the BMs so it's in writing. " Dear BMs, Just wanted to give you a friendly reminder that the deadline to order dresses so they're in on time is X. Please let me know when you've ordered your dress. Talk soon! You."

3) Since you mom asked your FMIL for the list she should be the one to call and ask for it again.

KatWAG

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_oy-everyone-is-forgetting-everything-but-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1b527fd8-712a-45e8-98d6-c97fd31a25eaPost:c612aab6-9b3e-445a-9a53-391d6b82bd72">Oy- everyone is forgetting everything but me!</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom asked my FMIL for a list of who she wanted to invite on her side to my shower. This was 2 weeks ago we are still waiting. My mom was supposed to call to book the photographer 3 weeks ago, and she keeps forgetting to do it. 3 girls keep forgetting to order their dresses! I suppose I could call to book the photographer but I'm not the one that is paying so she has to come down there with the money (which she will probably forget to do). How do I come off as not a bridezilla and yet tactfully remind these people that these things need to be done? I know it's holiday season and people ave a lot on their plates, do I wait til the new year to address these things again? I find wedding planning so stressful. I really feel like at this point and I want to remove myself from it and let everyone else plan and just have them let me know when to show up (which they will prob forget to do)- but I am afraid if I am not involved in the planning- it's not a matter of not getting what we want- it is a matter of people forgetting to dthings! Oy,<strong> </strong>want something done right, do it yourself, right? 
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

You are on a roll lately.

If you want to book your photographer, pay for it yourself.

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_oy-everyone-is-forgetting-everything-but-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1b527fd8-712a-45e8-98d6-c97fd31a25eaPost:d5b7d4eb-a6dd-4879-befc-8671ebe486bf">Re: Oy- everyone is forgetting everything but me!</a>:
[QUOTE]1) Book the photographer yourself. 2) Send an e-mail to the BMs so it's in writing. " Dear BMs, Just wanted to give you a friendly reminder that the deadline to order dresses so they're in on time is X. Please let me know when you've ordered your dress. Talk soon! You." 3) Since you mom asked your FMIL for the list she should be the one to call and ask for it again.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

Already did number, 2- oy. I think one girl is ordering this weekend, as she has been sick... the other 2, that is up in the air but I have asked the girl who is going this weekend to maybe ask the other girl if she wants to go with her- kill 2 birds with one stone.

hahaha, I'm so stressed, I need some wine.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_oy-everyone-is-forgetting-everything-but-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1b527fd8-712a-45e8-98d6-c97fd31a25eaPost:d5b7d4eb-a6dd-4879-befc-8671ebe486bf">Re: Oy- everyone is forgetting everything but me!</a>:
[QUOTE]1) Book the photographer yourself. 2) Send an e-mail to the BMs so it's in writing. " Dear BMs, Just wanted to give you a friendly reminder that the deadline to order dresses so they're in on time is X. Please let me know when you've ordered your dress. Talk soon! You." 3) Since you mom asked your FMIL for the list she should be the one to call and ask for it again.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto this. Also, yes, I would would wait until after the holidays to worry about any wedding stuff unless there is something terribly pressing that must be done. I took December off from wedding planning, and it rejuvenated me quite a bit for the final push to the wedding in March. </div>

mcda04

Achiduck gave you the best possible advice.

Wedding planning is probably stressful for you because you're dependent on everyone else's time and money. I can imagine how hectic it is to not be able to work with your vendors directly.

brittany634

Why are your girls ordering their dresses now? alot can happen in six months.

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_oy-everyone-is-forgetting-everything-but-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1b527fd8-712a-45e8-98d6-c97fd31a25eaPost:d4afd1ed-5f3e-4d2e-b259-6b22b2e8dbab">Re: Oy- everyone is forgetting everything but me!</a>:
[QUOTE]Your wedding isn't until June!  Why are you ordering dresses, and worrying about a shower, NOW??? The ladies have more than enough time to order their gowns. Showers are usually held in the final 8-week window before the wedding.  You aren't supposed to be involved in the planning, so stay out of it. Book the photographer and find out when the deposit is due. Then tell mom.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

My shower is not a surprise. We are booking it now b/c the prices will go up next year so my mom needs the list so we know how big of a room to book.

erinlin25

agree on waiting a bit as you have plenty of time.  I get the whole saving money, but even if you have an invite list, its still way to early to send bridal shower invitations and know exactly who will be coming, so your head count is going to vary until you get closer to the actual date I'm sure.  So whether your mom "books" the room now or not, I would doubt she has to pay for people yet-- I could see a deposit, but paying per person already?  Look at your guest list and get an estimate of who you think would be invited to at least give you an idea, and at the end of the day if your mom is the one who is booking it, then she needs to be the one worrying about-- obbiously she is not, so that is on her. 

Same for BM dresses... 5 months is more than enough time.  I'm a June bride and we aren't even shopping till the end of January to buy in February, and I'm sure even then we will have time for late orders.

Give yourself the holidays off; you've done what you can do, now its on everyone else.  If you are worried about the photographer getting booked up, give her a call and find out what she needs to hold the date, and maybe you need to put that deposit down so you can relax and not wait for mom. 

Sorry you are stressed--I know it gets overwhelming and unfortunately this industry just pushes the NOW NOW NOW attitude.  Take a deep breathe, enjoy the holidays and things will get done.   

courtski2004

So your mom is waiting on a list that she asked from your FMIL? Let her worry about that and stop meddling in the details/issues of your shower. If the price goes up as a result, she will be the one to deal with the consequences, not you.

Get things ironed out with the photographer ASAP. Set up a meeting with them and your mother so that this can be taken care of since you apparently are unable to do it on your own because of the funding.

Tell your BM's when the deadline is for ordering their dress. If they buy the dress, fantastic. If they don't and are SOL? Tough noodles.

Viczaesar

Brides who harass their bridesmaids to buy dresses too earlier are one of my pet peeves.  Especially when that means that you're bugging them to unnecessarily pay money right in the middle of the holiday season.

libby2483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_oy-everyone-is-forgetting-everything-but-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1b527fd8-712a-45e8-98d6-c97fd31a25eaPost:8c4d0335-ea1f-4c4e-8944-74a8b10ceeaa">Re:Oy everyone is forgetting everything but me!</a>:
[QUOTE]There is zero reason to be pressuring your girls to order dresses this soon, especially with the holidays. We didn't even have my girls initial measurements in until late January, and that was for custom designed and individually built outfits for a June wedding.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't really think the dresses are being ordered overly soon.  My girls ordered their dresses in late December and they didn't come until late May for my August wedding.  With alterations, that would definitely be cutting it close for a June wedding.  I was also in a wedding this summer, where two of the other bridesmaids didn't order their dresses until four months ahead of time, and they arrived less than a week before the wedding! The bridesmaids were in a panic, and so was the bride.  Some brands of dresses, especially designer dresses can take close to six months, so I don't think there is any harm in ordering now.  It would be better to have the dresses a month or two early than be worrying they won't arrive in time.</div>

OwningAHome1981

The girls who did order told me the store said the dresses will be in April... then they need to leave the dresses for alterations. I don't think December is too soon to order if the dresses will be in April. If they wait til February or something, the dresses wont be in in time.

OwningAHome1981

and I did end up getting my FMIL's list finally and there are women on it who live in WA and OK... I do not think they will be coming to my shower considering I have not even met these women.. and she has a 3 year old and a 1 year on the list. Yeah... they are NOT coming to my shower.