choices i have to make

christibarsalou

tring to figure out what is the best way of doing things when it comes to inviting family and friends. we are tring to keep the limit under 150 guests. prob is over half of that is nothing but my family. my grandparents are catholic. got lots of uncles and aunts. when we did the list 80 ppl were nothing  but my aunts uncles and cousins. that doesnt include their bfs, husbands ive never met or their kids ive never met. how would you go about the fact some of them even live out of state. should i invite all these damn ppl to my wedding. i feel i need to even thought i feel like most of the cousins wont come. but i feel like i need to so there is no big thing about me inviting the ones i DO see on holidays and stuff. any advice. oh yea one cousin lives on the other side of the united states from me and one set of aunts and uncles along with their kids live 4 states away.

kroot87

Invite the number of people you can afford to properly host.  I have a very large family and am not able to invite everyone, and it was difficult to determine who we could invite.. but don't invite more people than you can afford to host in hopes that some of them won't come. There's always a chance no one will decline.

AdeleDazeem

Well... you need to decide how many people you can afford to host.  You also need to invite all SOs of any guests you invite, regardless if you've ever met them.  Keep that in mind when you make your list.

If you can't afford everyone you write down, then it's time to cut people.

It's perfectly fine to not invite children.

ChristineNB

My mom is from aa very large family, she is one of 8 kids, all of which are now married and have families and grandkids of their own.  My mom was expecting me to invite everyone aunts, uncles, cousins, cousin's spouses, cousins kids, grandparents, but I've told my mom that it's just not realistic for me to invite cousins that I see once every couple years.  I decided to invite all my aunts and uncles, grandparents, and then one or two cousins that I've kept in touch with.  That's it, I'm trying to keep my wedding guest list around 80, and I would go way over that if I invited all my family.

christibarsalou

thanks guys that makes a huge difference for me. we can afford up to 150 ppl but thats it and we have a few and i mean very few friends we want to be there but it makes it hard when you have family you never see

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_choices-i-have-to-make?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1ea526d4-66e1-4c62-a67d-f76edf74ca65Post:06ee1a63-d2ba-4a38-89d4-d156fa138257">choices i have to make</a>:
[QUOTE]tring to figure out what is the best way of doing things when it comes to inviting family and friends. we are tring to keep the limit under 150 guests. prob is over half of that is nothing but my family. my grandparents are catholic. got lots of uncles and aunts. when we did the list 80 ppl were nothing  but my aunts uncles and cousins. that doesnt include their bfs, husbands ive never met or their kids ive never met. how would you go about the fact some of them even live out of state. should i invite <strong>all these damn ppl</strong> to my wedding. i feel i need to even thought i feel like most of the cousins wont come. but i feel like i need to so there is no big thing about me inviting the ones i DO see on holidays and stuff. any advice. oh yea one cousin lives on the other side of the united states from me and one set of aunts and uncles along with their kids live 4 states away.
Posted by christibarsalou[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Damn people?  Wow.  </div><div>
</div><div>Okay, take a deep breath.   First you need to set a budget to see how many people you can realistically host.  Remember that weddings don't have to be expensive (check out the Budget Brides board for some ideas).  </div><div>
</div><div>Now sit down with your lists and see who would want to invite, in a perfect world.   In your case, it sounds like that might leave you with more than the 150 people you originally thought.  So let's say it's more like 175.  Can your budget accomodate 175? If so, then it's not a big disaster.   Then look for venues that will accomodate that number.  </div><div>
</div><div>You don't have to invite every aunt, uncle, and cousin (especially those you have never met or haven't seen in a while).  Anyone who you consider "these damn people" probably doesn't have to be invited.  </div><div>
</div><div>One thing to consider is that if your parents (or his) are helping to pay for the wedding, they get some say in who is invited, and they may want you to invite some of those distant relatives.    Now, some people who live further away may not be able to come, but you should always budget for 100% attendance, because your Great Aunt in Alaska might decide this is the perfect time for that trip back east that she's been putting off.</div>

christibarsalou

we are paying for everything and we can accomidate 150 without going to far. we plan on doing all the food ourselves. as far as all the damn ppl. i dont see my dads side but once a year and that is christmas. half of my aunts, uncles and cousins go to this the others now they are married and exct. dont even come anymore. im thinking they dont need to come but i feel bad not inviting them.

christibarsalou

oh and his mom thinks we shold invite his deceased dads family from out of town that he hasnt seen hurd from since he turned 18 hes 32 now. i dont think those ppl need to come either but his mom is kind of insisting on it