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Your're Charging Us?

My best friend is getting married in September of this year at the beach. She's renting a house down there for her honeymoon. She's invited the bridal party to stay with them for the weekend (in the house they rented for the honeymoon). Originally she said we  could stay for free. Now she's "charging" us ($250 a couple). Has anyone else seen or heard of a situation like this? I mean, if she would have told us when she first invited us, fine. But she just told us about it. Now its too late for us to even book a hotel close to the venue being the guests have already booked all the rooms.

I'm just frustrated.

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Re: Your're Charging Us?

  • Wow that sucks! I really have no grand advice! I have never seen this before and I know it has to be super frustrating. Sorry :(
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  • I don't know proper etiquette on this, but I think that is pretty rude. Did you even ask all of the BM's if they could afford something like that? Or did she just automatically assume? It's not like being a BM is cheap as it is and then on top of that, the cost for the accomodations. I think I would be talking to her about this esp if you can't afford to stay.
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  • We could actually afford it. But, that's besides the point. We could have rented a hotel room for half that. It would have cost us $100.24.

    She popped it on all of us yesterday. We're actually talking about renting a house down there. It'd be cheaper for all of us to do that. There's 15 in the WP, we could rent a house for $800. They rented the house for $1400 they'll make all that back if we all pay. Actually they'll make $1750.

    FI doesn't even want to go now.
  • In Response to Re: Your're Charging Us?:
    [QUOTE]We could actually afford it. But, that's besides the point. We could have rented a hotel room for half that. It would have cost us $100.24. She popped it on all of us yesterday. We're actually talking about renting a house down there. It'd be cheaper for all of us to do that. There's 15 in the WP, we could rent a house for $800. They rented the house for $1400 they'll make all that back if we all pay. Actually they'll make $1750. FI doesn't even want to go now.
    Posted by CR2011[/QUOTE]

    Well that is good that you can afford it I suppose. But that is just rude and tacky the way she went about it without taking other people situations into consideration. Besides, if she is getting married next month, you would think this would have been something that was decided on before now.
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  • Sounds to me like someone wants their WP to pay for ther HM beach house!

    I would say no. (Even if you can afford it). Are you all supposed to stay there the night of the wedding? Their HM night. That seems weird. I would find accommodations elsewhere, even if it means at the motel 6 10 miles outside of town.

    That is very rude, and against ettiquette. It's the same as a Bride paying for an entire Bed & Breakfast, then telling all of her guests they have to pay to stay there. Your guests have to have options.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    So your friend is actually getting her wedding party to pay for her honeymoon + some spending or wedding money.  And she probably expects at least some of you to sleep on the floor. This is one of the rudest things I have ever heard. I don't blame your fi for not wanting to be used like this. I would decline her 'offer.'

    If you really want to go to this wedding, start calling around for a hotel room.


                       
  • In Response to Re: Your're Charging Us?:
    [QUOTE]Sounds to me like someone wants their WP to pay for ther HM beach house! I would say no.
    Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]
    exactly what i was thinking. i would never be able to do that to my wp.
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  • In Response to Re: Your're Charging Us?:
    [QUOTE]So your friend is actually getting her wedding party to pay for her honeymoon + some spending or wedding money.  And she probably expects at least some of you to sleep on the floor. This is one of the rudest things I have ever heard. I don't blame your fi for not wanting to be used like this. I would decline her 'offer.' If you really want to go to this wedding, start calling around for a hotel room.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    This.  Your friend is being totally rude.  Look for another place to stay the night.
  • EW ew ew. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

    Ask her why it costs so much, and why she's "making" money off of it. Tell her that you may just rent your own house down there, and see what she says. Do the others' in the WP feel the same way you do? Maybe she'll change her mind when she realizes nobody in the WP is staying with her, and she has to pay for the house herself.

    Tacky.
  • If you know that the price of the house is $200/night, then you could offer to pay your portion of that, which would be reasonable for both parties.  I'd be interested in hearing her response. 
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'd stay in a place further away rather than pay her. That is incredibly rude, especially if she is using it to pay for her honeymoon.


  • I would just tell her thanks, but no thanks.

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  • that is just wrong wrong wrong.

    i too am curious to hear her response...
  • If we were in your shoes, we would just tell the bride, thanks for the offer, and we'll participate in the festivities, but go for a hotel.  If she's making $1750 in essentially rent for a beach house for 2 days, that's a lot of money, and it doesn't seem worth it... Even a resort on the beach is less than that!



    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
  • In Response to Re: Your're Charging Us?:
    [QUOTE]We could actually afford it. But, that's besides the point. We could have rented a hotel room for half that. It would have cost us $100.24. She popped it on all of us yesterday. We're actually talking about renting a house down there. It'd be cheaper for all of us to do that. There's 15 in the WP, we could rent a house for $800. They rented the house for $1400 they'll make all that back if we all pay. Actually they'll make $1750. FI doesn't even want to go now.
    Posted by CR2011[/QUOTE]


    What the?  Huh?  Your friend is going to a.charge you to stay when she initially said you didn't have to pay, and b. make money off of you staying there?  That's a $350 profit!  I say go with the other rental that the rest of the WP can afford to rent.  Soooo incredibly rude!
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  • No.....just no.  There is not enough lipstick on the planet to make that look like anything but a pig.  Seriously???  People kill me...they just kill me.
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  • In Response to Re: Your're Charging Us?:
    [QUOTE]I would just tell her thanks, but no thanks.
    Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

    agreed
  • That's not right at all.  PLEASE ask her why she's making money off of the people she's leaning on for support on her big day when she originally told you it was free! Please call her out on it. Tell her you'd pay what you would have for a hotel room and no more. Let us know what happens.
  • I'd call her on it with a giggle, "Tee hee, are you actually telling me that if I want to stay there now it's no longer free and I have to help pay for your honeymoon house?  Thanks but I think we'll figure something else out."

    I can't imagine anyone thinking this is a good idea.
  • It sounds to me like the bride over-promised without having her budget all sorted out, and when she realized she couldn't pay for the house she sprung it on her WP.  That's not your problem, though, and I would most certainly be renting that other house with the rest of the WP.
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  • I called last night and informed her that me and the other WP members would be finding us a house to rent as none of us could afford the $250. She told me that there is no way we could find a house on such short notice. So I told her if we couldn't we would all sleep in a tent, we can't afford the the $250 and would prefer not to pay for her honeymoon house and give her spending money.

  • So what did she say when you gave her your "final answer" - particularly with the spending money part?
  • That none of us realized how expensive a wedding is.Um, hello. Two other BM's and myself are planning weddings. But you are completely right, none of us know just how expensive a wedding is.

    Her FI called me right after this was posted, and told me that we really hurt her feelings. Well, what she did was really rude and hurt our feelings. I booked our house this morning. Its 7 bedrooms, 5 1/2 bathrooms for 659.23 after taxes for the two days. its roughly $45 a person or $90 a couple. He was like well that's great way to ruin our honeymoon.
  • That conversation would make me so raw.   I'd be tempted to say, "I didn't ruin your honeymoon.  You did that all be yourself when you dropped the ball and asked your bridal party to pay for it with a month to go.  You should be ashamed of yourself."

    But instead I'd probably just say, "I'm very disappointed in you."

    This would be a huge friendship issue to me.

  • Wow! I'm so glad that you guys got your own beach house. Hopefully they realize how tactless this was and apologize to all of you.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Good for you for standing up for yourself!
                       
  • Wow, if he had the balls to say that to you, I wouldn't be surprised if the next communication is kicking out the entire wedding party.  They are living in a differnet world.  Tell them you'll be happy to take their wedding present back if they'd prefer you to help pay for their honeymoon.

    Married old Las Vegas hag groom - June 2011

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  • In Response to Re: Your're Charging Us?:
    [QUOTE]That none of us realized how expensive a wedding is.Um, hello. Two other BM's and myself are planning weddings. But you are completely right, none of us know just how expensive a wedding is. Her FI called me right after this was posted, and told me that we really hurt her feelings. Well, what she did was really rude and hurt our feelings. I booked our house this morning. Its 7 bedrooms, 5 1/2 bathrooms for 659.23 after taxes for the two days. its roughly $45 a person or $90 a couple. He was like well that's great way to ruin our honeymoon.
    Posted by CR2011[/QUOTE]

    WHAT?!?!?!  I can't believe that they are standing by this ridiculous behavior!  Even when confronted to their faces that they are asking the WP to pay for their HM they are not embarassed?!  Wow.  And so you're ruining their honeymoon by not paying for it?!  You don't know how expensive a wedding is or otherwise you'd offer to help your friends pay for it?!  This is quite a couple.  I don't see how they are justifying any of this.
  • My groomsmen are ruining my life by not buying me a new car; can you belive the nerve of them?

    Married old Las Vegas hag groom - June 2011

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  • Its pretty obvious to most of the WP that we'll be reconsidering our "friends". I mean, I get that weddings are expensive. But seriously? You expect us to pay for YOUR honeymoon?

    Well in that case, my WP is paying for my reception! And we're having a three coarse meal, I want Lobster and Filet Mignon at the coutry club of my choice. And this girl will be my MOH.
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