Is my cousin being a B#### or am I being sensitive???

bradandjackie

I have a cousin who I used to be BFFs with.  When my relationship got serious (1 1/2 yrs ago) she became distant.  When I got engaged (1 yr ago) I asked her to be my MOH - I don't have any sisters or other close female relatives... figured we were still BFFs but life had just been busy so she hadn't been able to make time.  After 4 months of one sided communication (me) she bowed out of my wedding saying she just had ZERO time in her life and she didn't want to disappoint.  I gave her a sincere "no hard feelings" chat and went on with my wedding business. Yesterday, out of NOWHERE she sends a TXT -- "so i had this dream last night, i dreamt you staged your wedding so you could get gifts". .... seriously?!?!?!

Srbageldog

Just ignore her. Sounds to me like she is being a bitch or is jealous. You said you two became distanced once you got serious with your relationship... maybe she feels your FI took you away from her? I have a sister who can be quite immature because she is jealous over my FI.
My advise is just let it roll off your back. Don't let it get to you. Because obviously that seems to be what she is aiming for.

bethsmiles

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and say you are being sensitive. People have weird dreams, maybe she did dream it. Either way its really not that big of a deal.

barbbhoww

Maybe she is jealous of you and your fiance's relationship.  Did you kind of "put her off" when you guys started dating?  Maybe not purposely but it happens sometimes.  Maybe she just felt that way?

Anyway, I wouldn't let it bother you.  If she wants to act like that during the happiest time of your life, then you need to be the bigger person and ignore it.  She probably wants to start something.

GreenPepperBurger

Sounds like she's jealous. You were the mature one here, so if she wants to be childish and act out, let her. She's the one that's coming off badly.

megk8oz

Eh, it could have be that she's being a jerk or it could be a real dream and maybe she was attempting to start conversation with you again, thinking you'd see the humor, like "Omg, it's the funniest thing, I dreamed your FI showed up in his underwear!", something that she knew wouldn't actually be true and figured you'd appreciate the absurdity of it.

My brother just a few nights ago dreamed that DH and I had a baby that had a head like the Kool-Aid man. He thought it was funny and that I'd appreciate the joke. I laughed my butt off, but in a more sensitive state, I could have just as easily taken it as "You think I'm going to have an ugly baby!".

It's a bit late now, but you could always text her back something that indicates you're taking it as a joke (Like "Hahaha, well you know me, I would totally throw a $20,000 party just to get a gravy boat :P") and see how that works out.

Otherwise, just let it go.

luckyme502

I think you are being sensitive.  I dreamed a couple nights ago that I was having sex with someone, not FI.  I told FI about it. 

I agree that maybe she is trying to start talking to you again. 

M&R7111

From the first part, it seems to me that your relationship with your cousin had changed, you both regonized that, and there were no hard feelings.

So I take the text as her just sharing with you a funny dream.  I think maybe you are sensitive about the context of the text because you feel distant and miss the close relationship you guys once had. 

She said she was very busy and had "zero" time - maybe this is the first time in a while you popped in her head, and it prompted her to contact you?

I would take it with a grain of salt.  I've had dreams where people do CRAZY even hurtful things that are not like them.  It doesn't mean thats how I feel about those people.

bradandjackie

OK so When FI and I first started dating - SHE was the one who started cancelling our evenings out and not responding to TXTs - it was about the same time that I got a new, "more serious" job so maybe I became less fun??  
The only other time in the last year that she has contacted me was when she heard some gossip about me/mom/wedding and one of our aunts. Auntie was furious that she heard it was going to be an "adult only" wedding. -she called to get more gossip -- gee thanks!
My response to her was "LMAO i've been having some insane wedding nightmares myself"  taht was the end of it.
I guess I just jumped straight into being suspicious about her intentions because her mom AND dad (my aunt/uncle) have both ended their relationship with my mom!  I don't understand these people - my mom's excited about her daughter getting married and her family stops answering her phone calls?! WTF!

Blueyed228

Why dont you just call her and ask her whats up?

Piru

I've had a dream where FH was a serial killer. Meh. I agree it's not worth freaking out over.

andy71781

That's annoying - if I had that dream I probably wouldn't tell the person I was dreaming about.  

That being said...if she's trying to get into contact with you it probably means she misses you and wants to reconnect.

loritajean

Friendships just tend to drift apart sometimes. I think it was cool on her end to let you know she wouldn't be able to hold up all her duties so as not to ruin your day.

As for the dream, it sounds like maybe she just thought you'd find it funny! I know I would.

I say don't take it personally at all. Maybe try to get together with her a little more just to hang out, no wedding talk necessary

kpwedkk

Delete the text and move on.  She has nothing better to do with her "Zero free time" than to be jealous, and try to see if she can irk you.

Keep going, and marry the one you love