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Pregnant MOH

ok guys! i need help asap! my MOH just found out she is pregnant.... and her due date.... same as my wedding date!!!!!! im freaking out! idk what to do. PLEASE HELP. the flower girl is her daughter... and the father of the baby..... a groomsman.

Re: Pregnant MOH

  • Be supportive and go with the flow.  If your MOH (and GM and FG) can't make the wedding because she is giving birth, it's not the end of the world.  If she can attend the wedding, great.  If not, the wedding won't be ruined if there isn't a FG and if the MOH and GM are missing.
  • Tell her congrats.  For gosh sake, don't ask her to step down.

    She will tell you if she can't attend or if something needs to change to make it easier for her.


    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • oh maybe i should have thrown this in.... she is 22 and already has a 4 yr old. She is single. the gm and her are not together.  the flower girl calls me her 2nd mommy because i have raised her since the day she was born and it is very important to have her in my wedding. NOT TO MENTIION SHE LIVES WITH HER PARENTS. congratulations is not in order here. i would never even consider having her "step down" as moh or even a bridesmaid. she is my best friend..... but this is not good news
  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited August 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pregnant-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:3d3e9b7e-9613-45ce-a340-a97b375e832aPost:b6e9539c-5f3c-4d0f-93d2-5b097ef9a7a8">Re: Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]oh maybe i should have thrown this in.... she is 22 and already has a 4 yr old. She is single. the gm and her are not together.  the flower girl calls me her 2nd mommy because i have raised her since the day she was born and it is very important to have her in my wedding. NOT TO MENTIION SHE LIVES WITH HER PARENTS. congratulations is not in order here. i would never even consider having her "step down" as moh or even a bridesmaid. she is my best friend..... but this is not good news
    Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]
    Wow, that's really sad that you're so judgmental of your friend.  It's actually quite common for people under 30 to be still living with or moved back in with their parents (see this New York Times article: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.htm">http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.htm</a>).  My MOH had to move back in with her parents, along with her husband and infant daughter, because her husband wasn't able to find a job.  She's a great mother, and was a great MOH.

    I don't really get what you're asking, then.  You wait until closer to the wedding and let her choose a maternity dress off the rack in a coordinating color, and don't expect too much of her during the engagement.  (Though really you shouldn't expect anything more of your bridemsaids than to show up for the ceremony in the correct attire.)  If she can make it to the wedding, great, if not, you can just send her bouquet to the hospital.  It's really not a big deal, plenty of women are bridesmaids while pregnant.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pregnant-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:3d3e9b7e-9613-45ce-a340-a97b375e832aPost:19d58eb6-3a5b-4eb7-98e4-754db2f34f76">Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]ok guys! i need help asap! my MOH just found out she is pregnant.... and her due date.... same as my wedding date!!!!!! im freaking out! idk what to do. PLEASE HELP. the flower girl is her daughter... and the father of the baby..... a groomsman.
    Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pregnant-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:3d3e9b7e-9613-45ce-a340-a97b375e832aPost:b6e9539c-5f3c-4d0f-93d2-5b097ef9a7a8">Re: Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]oh maybe i should have thrown this in.... she is 22 and already has a 4 yr old. She is single. the gm and her are not together.  the flower girl calls me her 2nd mommy because i have raised her since the day she was born and it is very important to have her in my wedding. NOT TO MENTIION SHE LIVES WITH HER PARENTS. congratulations is not in order here. i would never even consider having her "step down" as moh or even a bridesmaid. she is my best friend..... but this is not good news
    Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]

    You are her best friend? Then act like it. Please don't be so judgmental, be supportive.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*

  • My FSIL is pregnant and will most likely be induced next week.  Our wedding is Friday.  FBIL is our best man and his older children are my ring bearer and flower girl.  It is a very possible situation that none of them will be there.  And while my FI and I are SO disappointed, we have to understand.  It is life, a few tears will probably be shed because we miss them, but in the end we will be married and we will also have a new nephew to love! 

    As for your friends situation, I can understand that too.  While you may not be thrilled for the situation she is in (I am assuming you don't feel like she is in the best situation possible for herself), you have to be supportive of her and allow her to make her own decisions.  I am sure she will do everything possible to be there for your day.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    No, you should not have thrown in the second part. It sounds mean spirited. And it doesn't have anything to do with your friend being your MOH.

    Most women do not deliver on their due dates, so there is still a good chance that your MOH will be able to attend your wedding. Let her pick our her dress about a month before your wedding. Make sure she has a comfortable place to sit during the ceremony. Find out if your friend would allow her daughter to attend the wedding with her grandparents, if she is not able to bring her.


                       
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pregnant-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:3d3e9b7e-9613-45ce-a340-a97b375e832aPost:b6e9539c-5f3c-4d0f-93d2-5b097ef9a7a8">Re: Pregnant MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]oh maybe i should have thrown this in.... she is 22 and already has a 4 yr old. She is single. the gm and her are not together.  the flower girl calls me her 2nd mommy because i have raised her since the day she was born and it is very important to have her in my wedding. NOT TO MENTIION SHE LIVES WITH HER PARENTS. congratulations is not in order here. i would never even consider having her "step down" as moh or even a bridesmaid. she is my best friend..... but this is not good news
    Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]

    And you asked this girl to be you MOH? Seems to me like you don't even like her. If I was this girl I would seriously reconsider you as a friend.
  • I know it is kind of ironic that she is due on your wedding date, but I don't think she will actually give birth that day. Due dates change all the time. Just take things one step at a time and be patient with her. Everything will be ok!

  • marisah83marisah83 member
    100 Comments
    edited August 2010
    If she is unable to make it, then she just won't make it.  It won't be the end of the world for your wedding.  She'll let you know closer to time if she doesn't think she can follow through.  If that is the case, don't replace her.  Just leave her spot empty.

    My MOH is pregnant, and although her due date is a bit after my wedding, I know that it takes a lot for her to travel and participate.  If she told me she couldn't do it, I would be disappointed but would understand.

    I'm not really sure why you threw in that second part since it has nothing to do with the MOH situation.  You may not agree with her choices, but if she is truly your best friend, you should be supportive and not let your judgment get in the way.
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  • I agree with everyone else. While I am sure she will "try" to make it, under the circumstances she really cannot help if she isn't. 1 of my bridesmaids is pregnant and another is trying and is planning on delivery right before the wedding. There husbands are also both in the bridal party. As we announced our engagement, and I asked her to be a bridesmaid she said of course and then that they were planning on giving birth a month before. So unless shes delivering they'll be there.
    *~* Mrs.J *~*
  • I think you need to talk to her, step-by-step. Don't ask her to step down, but make sure she understands that, if at any time she feels like she is overworked, over stressed, or anything, that she can talk to you about it and you guys can determine the next best step. Communication is key in a situation like this. If she thinks you are gonna be a bridezilla, then she's not going to want to talk to you about any problems or thoughts she is having.

    Keep things in perspective during this time period, and just try to go with the flow. And...be happy for her, regardless of her situation.  She is likely happy to be having a baby, don't make her feel bad about it.
  • thanks guys! i guess i was just shocked about the whole thing. i wasnt upset that she was pregnant! i am excited i love her she is my best firend, but just upset because it means the world to me to have her there that day and i guess i just got a little scared that i didnt know what to do with out her. i am just worried about the whole situation! but i love her and she is a great friend and person. i told her that if she needs to step down to tell me, and that i want her there more than anything, but i am excited about the baby!  its just a scary feeling when your best friend tells you she might not make it to the biggest day of your life! im not even really sure if it was the wedding i was worrying about.... just the suituation!
  • edited August 2010
    [QUOTE]oh maybe i should have thrown this in.... she is 22 and already has a 4 yr old. She is single. the gm and her are not together.  the flower girl calls me her 2nd mommy because i have raised her since the day she was born and it is very important to have her in my wedding. NOT TO MENTIION SHE LIVES WITH HER PARENTS. congratulations is not in order here. i would never even consider having her "step down" as moh or even a bridesmaid. she is my best friend..... but this is not good news
    Posted by jericamegan06[/QUOTE]
    Oh wow. You're a trouper - how do you even manage to be friends with her? She sounds truly terrible.

    You know, I'm sure the whole "having a baby" thing is scarier for her than her missing your wedding is for you.
  • Is living with your parents a bad thing? Guess a lot of my friends my big bro included didn't get that memo.

    And really now, she is preganant, can't really stop it, so instead of condeming her and saying congrats isn't in order think again, she has a new life growing inside her.
     even if it was a "oopsie" baby. it is still a baby and something to be congratulated about, not condemed for.
    I love my BFG ♥
  • [QUOTE]<strong>Is living with your parents a bad thing?</strong> Guess a lot of my friends my big bro included didn't get that memo. And really now, she is preganant, can't really stop it, so instead of condeming her and saying congrats isn't in order think again, she has a new life growing inside her.  even if it was a "oopsie" baby. it is still a baby and something to be congratulated about, not condemed for.
    Posted by AliceOfLegend[/QUOTE]
    ZOMG it's the worst thing EVAR!!!11! Things can only be congratulated for if you're not living with your parents!
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