How do I handle my bros pushy gf when it comes to planning MY wedding?

Raeannie29

Here's some basics: Getting married 11/10/13; budget wedding (we're paying for the bulk, if not all, of it ourselves); lots of DIY touches; laid back, family-friendly event with no pretentious, stuffiness. That's just how we roll. I'm having BBQ tri-tip and chicken for the entrees, so what does that tell you? FH and I just want to celebrate with our closest fam & friends and just have fun. So here's my issue, my brothers gf. My brother loves her, so I don't tell him anything, for peace sake. She's nice, cordial, but not very friendly. She can come off condescending and sometimes downright rude to those who don't know her personality. A little pretentious at times, but not horrid in any way. I guess I'm just used to it. My beef with her lately is that whenever asks me about how my wedding planning is going and I tell her my ideas for the theme, food, cake, invites, etc. she then proceeds to tear up every single one of them. She told me that having bbq at my wedding is a faux pas (yes, she actually said "faux pas") for such a formal event, even after I told her our wedding was anything but "formal". Or she thinks my invites should be these engraved/embossed monstrocities that cost $5/ea to mail. (we're doing one-sheet invites btw, simple, cute, fun. period) The latest is my bachelorette party, which isn't for 9 MONTHS!! My soon-to-be 17 year old sis is in my bridal party, so obviously I'm not gonna have some drunken debaucherous BP. Not that I want one any way, because I'm a homebody and booze and penis necklaces/hats/cakes are not my thing. But to each his own. I told my bros gf this and she just made this face and said "boo, well thats no fun". She then looked at my sis and told her "well you'll just have to stay home." Um, excuse me? Who the hell said YOU were invited any way? So my question is for those who have read through my entire rant (and I apologize for the length), what on earth am I gonna do about this broad? Oh and did I mention that my MOH, who is my cousin, happens to hate my bros gf? Now that would be a BP to remember. LOL Thoughts ladies?

Sassenach1743

I agree with all the previous posters suggestions...

But, if you still can't fend her off with such courteous bean dipping then I'd probably try giving her all the most outrageous answers I could think of just to shock her into shutting up. 

Sometimes an arbitrary answer is enough to stump the pretentious and opinionated until they finally get the hint. The message, of course, will be that you don't care what she says and that her questions are unwanted due to the ridiculous answers you start giving. It will bug the crap out of her and you will get a good giggle. 

I'm not saying be mean, just don't give her any real information anymore. She obviously doesn't care enough to respect your ideas and just wants to hear herself talk... So why should you respect the questions in the first place? She'll figure it out and get annoyed. 

jennygoodberlet

Second, third, and fourth telling her it's fine and switching the subject. Your idea of your big day is a family oriented, relaxed event. Hers is a black tie affair. If she's still persistent point that out to her nicely but still firmly and if it's still not enough...well, be blunt. You shouldn't have to be so worried about offending her or hurting her feelings when she's clearly doing that to you. And if you think she could take your brother away from the ceremony I'd hope he could see her true colors. If you and the fam dearly love her though and she's just that different minded, give him the hint to give her her own wedding to plan