This is a vent. Urgh!
So I sort of feel like an idiot. A little over a year ago, I stopped speaking to my best friend. She made me so incredibly angry and did some things I did not think I could forgive.
Fast forward a year, she calls me when my parents were visiting. I didn't answer, and then got ahold of her on Facebook and asked if it was her that had called because I thought I had recognized the number. We then started speaking again, and easily fell back into our friendship like nothing had happened.
That went well for about a month and a half. She asked to come to my wedding, as I hadn't invited her, and I agreed. I wanted her to come, her being there was important to me. I was waiting to tell my mom that she was coming, just in case things fell through again, which was a good idea!
My other best friend, "M", who is a dude, dated F for a couple years and they had a bad breakup. They haven't spoken for years now. I laid down the law with both of them, and told them if there was any BS, even a little bit, the one being the doink was going to get the boot. Fair enough they said, we'll behave. Anyways, this is sort of besides the point.
Actually, I don't really have
a point, I'm just yapping.
So...okay, try to follow me here. Three years ago, another very close friend of mine, "B", passed away, and her death was being investigated as manslaughter. The girl whose house B died at, "R", refused to call the ambulance for over 5 hours after they found B dead, because they were partying and there were drugs in the house and they were scared. Well, R died from an overdose this last Monday. F and I got into an argument about it because I always blamed R for B's death - well, that's not right. I had to blame someone though, for what happened, and it was R. Now R is dead, and F brought up the whole "karma" factor, and WHY, I do not know. She knows how I felt about R and her involvement with B's death and the investigation, and bringing up the idea of her dying by way of karma really bothered me. Because yes, that was the first thing I had thought about, and decided I wanted to keep those feelings to myself instead of sharing them with others who knew R and cared about her.
I got very angry at F again because she was showing the same old BS that she always did, which led me to stop speaking to her the first time.
I told her I could not carry on a friendship with her, why I don't know, I just know we can't be friends.
Now, she's flipping out, "I bought a shirt and got it specially tailored for YOUR wedding", to which I replied that she had bought the shirt before I even asked her, so I don't see it as an issue that concerns me, she did that of her own free will; if I hadn't said yes, she would still have the damn tailored shirt.
She's trying to turn this into a wedding issue, and it is not. It's a friend issue. It's an issue with her trying to force me to say "yes, I am glad R died because it justifies B's death". Which is not how I feel anyways, I'm not sure how I feel, but it's all pretty messed up!
I dunno. Like I said I'm just venting. No moral to the story, no real ending to the story, but it feels good typing it out