Stress advice needed!

sierraberry32

My man is working an hour away from home at full time. We see eachother for only an hour on some days and a couple of minutes on other days... Any way I can help him de-stress? I mean hes a great guy but kind of on edge when it comes to b*tchyness and im getting hit with all of it, its really hurting our relationship... Any advice? I will honestly take anything that might work!

shaina925

Give him a massage?

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stress-advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:45acd886-e9c8-4231-aea0-eb4543be5373Post:0df88af9-770b-419f-9575-6221e02fb416">Stress advice needed!</a>:
[QUOTE]My man is working an hour away from home at full time. We see eachother for only an hour on some days and a couple of minutes on other days... Any way I can help him de-stress?<strong> I mean hes a great guy but kind of on edge when it comes to b*tchyness and im getting hit with all of it</strong>, its really hurting our relationship... Any advice? I will honestly take anything that might work!
Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm not sure I understand what you mean by this.  Does he think you are being b*tchy, and that's why he says he's on edge?  Or is he taking other people's b*tchiness out on you?   Either way, I find the way you worded this to be kind of troubling.   </div><div>
</div><div>The first thing to do is to try to find out what is stressing him out.  Is it work?  Family?  Money?  Something you are doing?    Then you can find ways to reduce his stress level.</div><div>
</div><div>One thing my husband and I do is we have a "five minute rule" -- when I get home from a long day at work, I need five minutes to get in the house, dump my stuff, change clothes, etc, before we can start talking about how our days were.   I can't properly listen to him while I'm still trying to change clothes, nor can I really tell him how MY day was.   It's really helped me de-stress when I get home.</div>

MarissaSinLA

Have you openly discussed the attitude shift in a non-threatening, non-accusatory way?  Maybe he's not aware how you're perceiving his actions and the negative effects of them.  P.S.  I've heard the best way to start a conversation like that is with "I feel..." (Rather than "You are...")  Good luck!

jesslynn1012

I introduced my FI to the how wonderful relaxing is in a bubble bath.  Sometimes we take baths together and just lay with eachother, and sometimes he takes them himself.  I'm sure most guys wouldn't admit it, but it is just as stress-reducing for them as it is for us.  That might be nice on days that you can see eachother longer.  Even a 5-minute soak is relaxing:)

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stress-advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:45acd886-e9c8-4231-aea0-eb4543be5373Post:0df88af9-770b-419f-9575-6221e02fb416">Stress advice needed!</a>:
[QUOTE]My man is working an hour away from home at full time. We see eachother for only an hour on some days and a couple of minutes on other days... Any way I can help him de-stress? I mean hes a great guy but kind of on edge when it comes to b*tchyness and im getting hit with all of it, its really hurting our relationship... Any advice? I will honestly take anything that might work!
Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]

<div>Throw him a potluck?</div>

JaxInBlue

I work - on a good traffic day - about an hour from where DH and I live.  I agree with PPs that this is something you need to talk about with him; use lots of I statements, "I've noticed..." 'I feel..." to set the stage but also be sure to really listen. 

DH and I have opposite debriefing strategies at the end of the day - he needs about 30 minutes to wind down, whereas I like to immediately get out the most important things that happened.  We've had to meet in the middle; he's realized that the longer commute gives me a lot of time to figure out what I want to tell him and I've realized that he's not usually done debriefing when I get home.  We've worked out a solution that works for us; I change and get dinner started and he comes into the kitchen when he's ready to listen and talk.  It took us a while to get here though.

Some of this might be going on here; you might need to talk about how best the two of you can come back together at the end of the day.  Talking might also lead to a conversation about whether or not he's really happy at work, or if it might make sense for you two to think about finding a homebase where you both travel a little so he doesn't travel so much.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stress-advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:45acd886-e9c8-4231-aea0-eb4543be5373Post:f6b664ca-0b68-4258-8fcd-284e6526ca36">Re: Stress advice needed!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Stress advice needed! : Throw him a potluck?
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stress-advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:45acd886-e9c8-4231-aea0-eb4543be5373Post:f6b664ca-0b68-4258-8fcd-284e6526ca36">Re: Stress advice needed!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Stress advice needed! : Throw him a potluck?
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]
LMFAO! That totally just made my day!