Please help me calm down

ceh789

A good friend fo mine isn;t able to come to my wedding.  I knew this.  I was positive - she lives 2k miles away and has 1 year old AND she's pregnant ANd her sister is getting married 4 weekends after me.  I understand.

Still - today the 'no' RSVP came and I'm so upset she won't be there.  I've been sobbing for 5 hours now.  I'm, just so sad.  There is nothing I can so do fix this.

redheadfsu

5 hours of sobbing?  Um, well breathe, drink some wine, and take a bubble bath. But this isn't a normal reaction.  She is still your friend, she just can't travel to your wedding. Sucks sure, but this isn't the end of the world.

GoodLuckBear14

Go ahead and cry for a while.  My three closest friends had to RSVP no for my wedding because of surgery for one, hospitalization for another and the third one wanted to be with her mom when she started chemo for breast cancer.  It sucks and feels like the universe is picking on you but you'll get past it.  Focus on how many people you love are coming.

ChristineNB

I agree with pp this isn't a normal reaction.  I know that as my wedding is going to be a 5 hour drive away for most of my friends there will be some that can't make it.  I have accepted that and know that those that don't come it doesn't mean that they are any less my friends or any less excited for me.

pattib5

I think your reaction is perfectly understandable. What's "normal" for some isn't "normal" for others.

I had a couple of good friends decline when I'd thought all year they were attending. I was really upset about it for 2-3 days. In the end, I just decided to focus on all of the people who WILL be there.

It's ok to be upset and to cry. Give yourself today, and even tomorrow if you need it, to be upset, and then change your focus to the people who will be there and all the positive things about your wedding. Hugs to you!

FutureGray

Agreed that this seems a little bit extreme, but I know emotions run high when you're planning a wedding and especially when you get down to the last few weeks. Take some deep breaths, make sure you keep hydrated, and try to find something to do that is either fun (go shopping, get your nails done, etc.) or necessary (any DIY projects left for the wedding?). Keeping busy will help you to feel a little better. I'm sorry she won't be able to make it.

FWIW, my best friend can't come to my wedding either, because both she and her husband are unemployed right now, they have a seven month old, and they live 2400 miles from me. I will miss her, but I'll call her the day of or the next day and we'll talk and it will be fine. I know she would be there if she could.

I'm a little more upset at my 30 family members who aren't attending my wedding for a range of reasons including "We're saving our time off for when our daughter has her baby at the end of the year (and I KNOW they have lots of time off... they're always going to Vegas or the dunes for a week here and a week there)" and "Country Thunder is that weekend! (yeah... apparently Brad Paisley outranks me in my aunt and uncle's eyes)"

In the end, the wedding is just one day. The lifetime that comes after it is what really matters.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_please-help-me-calm-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:473830dd-d46d-4855-8ccc-9bebd22f42a9Post:c89209f1-f204-4298-b08d-98a22f35838f">Re: Please help me calm down</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with pp this isn't a normal reaction.  I know that as my wedding is going to be a 5 hour drive away for most of my friends there will be some that can't make it.  I have accepted that and know that those that don't come it doesn't mean that they are any less my friends or any less excited for me.
Posted by ChristineNB[/QUOTE]

You don't know how you would react in this situation.  When you are this close to your wedding, the stress of everything takes a toll on you and the five hours of crying were probably just triggered by this news.  I'm one of the least openly emotional people you could meet and I was crying when I got news like this.  Like I said, it feels like the universe is kicking you when this happens, as unrational as that sounds to other people.