I was just going through the DP website looking at some older entries and I came across this:
Q. Celebration Overload: I have three sons in their late 20s and early 30s. The oldest is married with a young child and my youngest is engaged. Since it has been quite some time since I went through these rituals, I expected them to change. I just didn't expect them to change quite this much. What used to be nice, simple ceremonies have turned into much longer events. My son and daughter-in-law had professional engagement photos taken, numerous bridal showers, a wedding followed by a reception, professional maternity photos taken, a "gender revealing party," a baptism, professional family portraits, and a first birthday party. Frankly, I think this is celebration overload and, in its own way, detracts from the seriousness of these events. I miss the days of one bridal shower, a ceremony in a church, and cake in the church basement. I know how delicate the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship can be, so I have not said a word about these events and attended them all graciously. But the thought of going through this number of events for two more kids is exhausting. Is this just the trend of celebrations now and I should go along with it? How do I graciously be a part of their lives while inwardly cringing at another over-the-top celebration?
A: Your answer is contained in your question. You just graciously celebrate while inwardly cringing. I agree with you, Mom, that a return to contained and modest celebrations is to be much hoped for. This is the second letter I've gotten about the amazing development of the awful gender-reveal party. As I previously asked, what's next, the baby-making party? You have to accept that the days of the DIY wedding are gone. But I agree that turning marriage into the Normandy Invasion (actually, that took less time to plan and launch than most weddings) is an absurd waste of time and money. Let's face it, usually the bride/mother is the driver behind these events, so as a mother of sons, you want to preserve your relationship with your offspring and their wives. So slap on a smile and be grateful to be included.
Does anyone else find these complaints and Prudie's response unwarranted? I mean, it's ok to skip any parties you are invited to that you don't want to attend. But as long as a party is being hosted properly, I don't care what the reason for it is. The party-line around here is "an invitation is not a summons". I think if this lady is this judgmental about all these parties, she should skip them and keep her mouth shut.
And why is she so irritated about engagement photos, pregnancy photos, etc? These are not "celebrations", and as long as she's not being asked to pay for anything, why would she care about her son and DIL having photos taken? Since when are family portraits in poor taste?
Another party line around here is that it's none of your business how other people spend their money. So as long as Ms Overload isn't being asked to foot the bill for anything, I don't think she has anything to complain about. Why should she care if the bride and groom spend $100,000 on their wedding reception, if they can afford it? Or have an extravagant birthday party or baptism party for their kid?
Can you imagine your mother or mother in law rolling her eyes about the idea of a first birthday party for your firstborn?
This whole thing irritated me. I'm interested to hear all your thoughts.