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XP - Wondering if this is rude - invitation question

Hey there everyone!  So I know that usually asks "is this rude?" 9 times out of 10 it is!  I don't want to have poor etiquette so I thought I'd pose this question to you and see what your opinions are.

I know B lists are rude and I would never, ever dream of having one.  That said, my FI and I are very aware of our max and we don't want to over-invite - but we also don't want to have too FEW people there (FI is SO worried about this, I could care less - I say who ever comes is awesome and will make us have a great time but...it's his wedding too).

So anyways - of course we won't have a B list, but I was wondering if it would be rude to send out the invites - we're only giving +1s to those in relationships (of any kind - new or old).  If people are single, they don't get a +1 - but would it be rude to let a few people know they can bring guests if we start getting really low turnout?  We'd just call up our single friends and be like "Hey!  There's some more room - would you like to bring a date?".  Is that bad?  Thanks for your opinions - I really appreciate it! 
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Re: XP - Wondering if this is rude - invitation question

  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2012
    I agree, I don't see a problem. We started doing this toward the end to 2 or 3 people.
  • That's what we did when we started to fall under. 
  • diabridediabride member
    10 Comments
    edited August 2012
    Not gonna lie....we have a B list.  Out of respect to my parents, I will be sending invites to to some people in my father's family.  I am 99.9% sure that those people will not be attending.  Our B list are friends that know that we are crunched for space for the ceremony.  I will also state our B list works for us without being rude because we are hosting a "Happily Ever After-Party" following our ceremony and reception.  We plan on having a smaller ceremony and reception for family and very close friends...then a huge after party.
    Make jokes. No stress. Love. Live. Life. Proceed. Progress.
  • We did this too. When our numbers were lower than expected with called our single guests up and told them that they could bring someone. About 6 of them did.  They completely understood.
     
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  • That sounds fine to me
  • How is it rude?  These are people that are close enough to understand that our ceremony space is small and we have family "obligations" however once those people decline they will be included in the ceremony?
    I'm not sure how that is rude....
    While we have space for 80 people at our ceremony & reception...we are hosting an after-party for 200+ people.

    Make jokes. No stress. Love. Live. Life. Proceed. Progress.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_xp-wondering-if-this-is-rude-invitation-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:4b420dd6-b3c4-4159-a8ef-23fe69d15244Post:22c3fad0-d561-4dc6-8e59-9d227a331f03">Re: XP - Wondering if this is rude - invitation question</a>:
    [QUOTE]How is it rude?  These are people that are close enough to understand that our ceremony space is small and we have family "obligations" however once those people decline they will be included in the ceremony? I'm not sure how that is rude.... While we have space for 80 people at our ceremony & reception...we are hosting an after-party for 200+ people.
    Posted by diabride[/QUOTE]

    <div>First, it's rude because you are telling someone that they are only important enough to come if someone off the real list declines.  No one wants to be an understudy guest at your wedding.</div><div>
    </div><div>The after party for 200+ people that aren't invited to the ceremony and reception is much more rude than a B list, though.  You are giving people a consolation prize after you tell them that they aren't important enough to be invited to the real deal.  If you really cared about these people, you would revamp your ceremony and reception plans to include all 200 in one event.  People know this.  They may tell you that they "understand," but you can be sure your feelings are hurt.</div><div>
    </div><div>If anyone has to "understand" or put up with the way you are treating them, you're treating them wrong.  </div>
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