Chit Chat

Unexpected reaction

Thank you all for your nice comments yesterday. I was really shocked by your kind reaction and was literally almost in tears. I know, I'm a crybaby.

FI and I apologized to both of our parents for asking for money, as I had mentioned in our previous posts. My parents are now livid, as they feel disrespected by us "rejecting their money," and FI's parents feel the same, saying we snubbed them. I have no idea what to say or do. I probably shouldn't keep posting here, given my first impression, but I know you all will give honest advice.

Thank you!

Re: Unexpected reaction

  • SB1512SB1512 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    I don't think there was any need to turn down the money, it sounds like that is what you did?  You should have apologized for asking them to contribute to your wedding (and asking them for a specific amount to contribute), as it is not their responsibility to pay for it.  But if they were still willing to contribute after your apology, there is nothing wrong with graciously accepting the offer for funding.
  • I just read your last thread and, like Linger said, that was very big of you!

    Can you give us more of a break down of how this conversation went with your parents? Maybe we can help sort out how it went wrong...
  • Explain to both sets of parents that you are not snubbing their money, and that you are very grateful if they are willing to help.  Explain that the purpose of the apology was for your rude behavior in asking/demanding it, not in accepting it.  Explain that you want them to know that you understand that their gift was not a requirement or to be expected, but rather that it was something amazing that they chose to do for you, and that you want them to understand how gratious and appreciative you are of any amount that they choose to contribute.  Let them know that your earlier behavior made it seem like you felt that they were required or expected to pay, and that you feel that you behaved as if you weren't appreciative or grateful for how much they've gone above and beyond for you.
  • Thats the thing--I didn't turn it down! We said we were so sorry and should have never asked them for money. It was rude of us and they should in no way feel the need to contribute. They then proceeded (seperate conversations, immediately following each other) to yell at us about how hurt they were. My mom cried.
  • Parents be crazy.

    Perhaps you could smooth things over asking for their opinion on things; ex:  Which of these three florists do you like?  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unexpected-reaction?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:4f999e67-ab3b-45a7-9786-8196eb658015Post:c2101088-7ed7-4b06-b5f7-95cb2d1ada26">Re: Unexpected reaction</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thats the thing--I didn't turn it down! We said we were so sorry and should have never asked them for money. It was rude of us and they should in no way feel the need to contribute. They then proceeded (seperate conversations, immediately following each other) to yell at us about how hurt they were. <strong>My mom cried.</strong>
    Posted by MillieMae92[/QUOTE]

    <div>Don't feel bad. This is my mom's reaction to everything, and I mean everything. It's "the change." (Sorry, Mom.)</div>
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  • I'd go with Lucy's wording, it sounds like your parents just misunderstood.

    Also, 90% of the regs here probably made a bad impression when they first started posting, so you are definitely not alone.  Stick around!!
    Anniversary
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