My fiance and I got engaged on Valentines Day. It was a very romantic and sweet moment between just the two of us. The next day my family was very excited, but his was not very thrilled. They seemed to be very upset that they were not included in the proposal or planning. He has a large 'modern' family so he kept his plans to himself so that the word wouldn't go down the grapevine and get back to me before he had the chance to ask (this has happened about a xmas gift in the past). I feel like this is just a bad start to our life together as a family. I really think that this is their round about way of not approving of our relationship. His family has always been more accepting of his brothers' girlfriends than me. I believe its because I was accused of things I did not do when we first go together in highschool!! That was 5 years ago! Have I not proven myself to be a good person who loves their son?! Obviously not because they will still give his brother's girlfriends of just a few months hugs and gifts on holidays while their son's soon to be WIFE is ignored! I'm not trying to be selfish I just want to be accepted by his family! I feel defective
His step mother is also expecting a huge elaborate wedding and I've tried to explain to her that my fiance and myself will be paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves. (I have just graduated from college and he is still a student so our wallets are quite shallow!!) When we got together to attempt to make a rough guest list, she was spouting out names of people I've never even met! She yelled at me for not wanting to invite poeple like my finace's steph cousin's cousin twice removed! Of course I'm going to have the final say on everything, but this is NO way to begin our lives as a family. I feel like she is just trying to push me until I break and leave my fiance, but this will NEVER happen!