Here it goes...
So I am engaged to a guy with a huge, wonderful, Italian family. Unfortunately when it comes to weddings and events, our families don't really see eye-to-eye. Even though both families are well-off, I was raised to be a modest spender, especially when it comes to buying things that don't have any real lasting value. A wedding would be a perfect example of something that is a nice-to-have, but not a must-have. DF's family, however, LIVES for huge elaborate family events and doesn't even think about the money they spend on these affairs. So far, though, my parents have been very understanding and have offered to pay for our venue (which is $300/head!) even though DF's parents are planning on inviting about 70 more people than my parents are. At first I was excited that I was getting my dream venue AND my parents were okay with us having a big wedding to please his family, but lately I have been starting to feel really uncomfortable with it when I start doing the math of $300/pp, with 275 people... And that's just the venue/food!! Even though it is my parents paying for it, I KNOW them and know that this totally goes against their principles and in spite of that, they have just been graciously going along with all of it to make me happy. I am feeling really guilty about my parents paying all this money, AND about the fact that I am going to end up having a very high-end wedding--which I AM excited for--it's just not something I dreamed of since I was a little girl like a lot of brides. (If this WAS one of "those" brides, then I would probably feel that the money is going to better use.)
Anyone have any words of encouragement? Should I just go with it? (We already have about 40K in non-refundable deposits to various vendors.) Ahhh I'm so confused!!