So this is part vent and part advice-asking just to warn everybody :-)
Here's the scenario...My fiance and I have been trying to get his parents to look at rehearsal dinner venues for months. HIs parents are not from the area we're getting married so we offered to do the initial looking for them to weed out the venues that for sure would not work to save them time when they came up to look. We did that at the beginning of this summer and have been trying to coordinate with them ever since. His mom's working, his dad's golfing, his mom has a wedding, his dad has season football tickets this fall (yes they're already even denying us well into the future weekends), etc, etc, etc, etc......I understand that people get busy but [some] of the excuses seem like conflicts that could be resolved for the one wedding thing they're doing. We're asking for a day...that's it.
We are so grateful that they offered to host it but their apparent disinterest is getting to the point where we just want to say "thanks but no thanks" and just host it ourselves.
It's hard because his parents are divorced so it's always tough coordinating between them in the first place but just some of the things they ask or expect me to do seem ridiculous like they think I do nothing all day but take care of every aspect of their son's life.
For instance, I have a very time-consuming full-time job and I'm trying to plan a wedding in the mean time...the other day my fiance comments to me that his mom told him that I was doing the research for her on what car SHE is going to buy him. I seriously like burst out laughing on him...I had told her I would forward her the website of the dealership I worked with when I bought my new car (which I did)...that's it! I'm not even buying this stupid car so why would she think I had time on top of everything else I'm doing to take care of this?
Ok that was a little off topic but I just wanted to sort of illustrate how they tend to shirk responsibility and things onto other people because they are "soooooo busy". I can tell it makes my fiance sad that his parents are like this. He's told me that he thinks they're nice people but just get lazy and he knows it frustrates me and it hurts him because he knows my parents are so helpful and parent-like to both him and I. I really want them to pull through on this because it's just going to be another thing my parents will have to step in and do. They'd be more than happy to, but that is not the point at all. He wants his parents to care and be involved so that's what I'm trying to get ideas on.
I guess I'm just trying to de-stress because I'm not angry...just more stressed/sad by all of this.
Does anybody have any helpful thoughts on this on how to get his parents more involved?
a) They have already offered to pay and host the rehearsal dinner option (for anyone thinking I'm not to assume they're hosting...they offered so i am assuming)
b) I am getting married in a smaller town so there are not many nice venue options to accomodate our party (for those who think I'm looking too soon)
c) They haven't given us a budget even to go ahead and plan it ourselves even though they seem disinterested in any of the planning. This wouldn't be our ideal situation anyways because we'd like them to know and like what they're hosting.
d) The car example may be stupid but it's hard to put into words and it's the most recent thing that's happened so it's fresh in my mind (for those of you who think that story was irrelevant)