Chit Chat
Options

Looking for opinions/advice

My wedding is a year away, so I have a great deal of time to worry about things, but my FMIL already is starting with the "You're not including me at all in the planning!" complaints.

I know, she does not need to be involved.  Also, in my family, my parent's were always "hands off", when I was a kid and now.  I actually go to my mom with ideas and get frustrated that she could care less and responds with "sure, looks good, whatever you want"  (I now take this as a blessing after reading rants about over-involved moms!)  So I'm not use to including people, especially my FMIL who is in every aspect of her son's life...ug

SO - I know there must be little "things" I can ask her to do - but I can't think of anything.  My wedding is very simple.  I purposely cut out all the little "things" and "details" most brides fuss over.  (to be honest, I just want to elope and then hit the bar!!) 
What can I have her do to help "plan" this wedding I've already planned?    I'm afraid she will make the day more complex than I want it. 
Also, she and I have different tastes - anything she suggested (favors, centerpieces) I do not like and do not want (gawdy to the MAX).  I really don't want her input.

I have a dress, a venue, and a man....done.  Any ideas of what I can do to "include" her????  My parents just want an invite - and that's all I want to give her. I feel like I have to just give her something to do - like what you would do to a 4 year old who wants to "help" you cook.  "here, you can be in charge of watching the timer....."
FI really wants me to "include" her b/c she is driving him nuts.



Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Re: Looking for opinions/advice

  • Options
    What if she helps you put together invites or address them? Maybe get her to work on a wedding announcement? Take her shopping for her dress or outfit?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    My Planning Bio
    123image 64image 35 image 24image RSVP Deadline: June 15, 2010
  • Options
    Maybe pck out several things you like and ask her for the opinion. So then its not a open slate and she just picks random things. It is your FI wedding as well and I am sure his mom would just like to be a little included thats understandable.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    Our groomswoman was begging to help; she helped assemble invitations and helped me with the bouquets (though she mainly was a motivating presence to finally get me off my butt and do it, I did most of the work myself), and she was going to make Oreo truffles for our dessert bar but her blender broke.  My mom and sister also really wanted to help, so they made cookies for us.

    Up until a couple of months before the wedding, though, whenever someone asked me what they could do to help, my response was always, "Well, there's not much that needs to be done right now, but I'll let you know as we get closer."
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • Options
    Thanks everyone.

    What started this was that FI and I booked a venue.  That's it.  He made the mistake of telling her this.

    From there it was that I wasn't including her, she "assumed" she wasn't going to be invited to the food tasting....basically making a fuss over something that didn't exist since I am currently not planning anything.  We, on the other hand, did have every intention of letting her see the place, we planned to invite them to the food tasting, and they already said they are hosting the RD.  She just flipped before we extended the invite!

    Question:  Do I need people there at my dress fitting?  Don't I just go and they mark where alterations are needed?  The dress fits the way it is, actually, just needs a few things taken in, but barley.  I assumed I would go alone (?)  I don't like having a bunch of people around looking at me in a dress (which makes this wedding thing terrifying!)


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Options
    The comments you're posted are pretty negative.  Is this an indicator of how your life is going to be AFTER the wedding as well?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards