What do you think..... dating brother-in-law

eireann15

Ok so he's not my brother in law....

My sister has been dating this guy for about 4 years. They are now 25.

Anyway his older brother asked me out recenently. We've also been close and have had fun together. He was dating this gir; for 2 years that no one liked. I broke up with my boyfriend of over 3 years almost a year ago.

So we went out. Had a great time. I feel like he's someone that could be "the one". We know everything about each other. We are the same age, a lot in common. We both get along with each others families and connect so well...... We didn't do anything other then kiss. But we asked our respected siblings about what they think and they are completely against it.

My sister says it might be selfish, but she thinks it would ruin things between them. They have a good relationship. I can acknowledge that things would be awkward if things didn't work out. But now we dont know what to do..... I know that he would treat me like a princess and visa versa...  We are both mature, professional people.

I'm pretty broken hearted over this.  and just looking for opinions.... Is this terrible? Am I crossing the line? What would you think?

stinkerbell6879

I think it is fine. What if it ends up reverse? What IF this is your one and your Sister breaks-up with her BF? As long as you all behave like adults, then it should be fine.

[Deleted User]

I think your sister and her BF need to grow up. They are being extremely selfish in saying how they would be affected if it doesn't work out. They're only thinking of themselves, whereas you could potentially love and marry this man (hey, you never know, right?).

And like PP said, what if they end up breaking up? Then you've ended a relationship for nothing.

MikesAngie

Keep your relationship as previous posters have said.  I see nothing wrong with your dating at all. Enjoy  Your sister needs to quit being selfish.


Sesha cute siggy picture!

KaylaSue19

If you guys start dating, breaking up might cause some tension. As PP said it might make social situations a bit uncomfortable too. However, I would still go for it probably. If I was your sister I would probably encourage it.

SpookieCat

Hahaha - This happened to my parents!

My Mom's brother and my Dad's sister dated for about 3 years and then my parents (older siblings) started dating.  My Aunt and Uncle (funny no?) eventually split up and my parent's married and had me.

I don't know what it was like during the direct aftermath of their relationship but I can say that my Aunt and Uncle still get along great and act like adults.  My parents eventually did divorce but it was quite amicable.  My Mom's brother and his sister (who used to date) were actually best man and the matron of honour when my Dad remarried my stepmom. 

Oh small town life...

SarahPLiz

I think that you should go for it, but if you have issues in your relationship with him at some point, then your sister is probably not the right person to vent to. THAT could affect all the relationships. Your relationship with him is separate from their relationship with each other, and you should keep it that way. 

sister2groom

I would just go super slowly, wouldn't get too serious until you're sure this is something you want to do. As far as the objections of your siblings, it might just be a gut reaction "oh my gosh, my sister's dating my friend." Also, try explaining to your sister you think it could be serious, she might be worried that this is going to be just a fling for you guys that will bring akwardness that lasts a lot longer than the relationship.

breezerb

One of my good friends is a perfect example of this and in a GOOD way.

Her older sister started dating this guy and since the sisters are so close she started hanging around them as a couple, well the guy and his brother are also close so he started hanging out with them too.  Long story short - Sisters ended up dating brothers.  Happy Ending - The sisters are now actually married to the brothers and they have each started a family and could not be happier! The End.

pizzanfries4me

I think if you are all mature adults (as you should be) then you can do what you want. If they said no b/c of it ruining their own relationship then I find them pretty selfish (they would rather be happy and have you guys alone then have both sets happy) If someone breaks up thats life and it happens, but I say go for it.

Belle2Be

Does anyone else find it a bit strange to come running to the Knot boards with this question? Like, it's her first post,how does that train of thought work?
"I want to date my possible brother in law, I think I'll make an account on a wedding board and ask them what they think of that".

Anywho, you both are grown adults, date him if you want to.

MairePoppy

My MIL and her sister married brothers. The brothers were very close. The sisters had a love/hate relationship throughout the years, but still remained close. It all worked out.

My two nephews, who are brothers, dated sisters. One nephew married his girlfriend, the other nephew broke up with his. The broken couple are godparents to the first child of the other couple. It was a little awkward after the breakup, but everyone adjusted. That situation also worked out well.

I think you should go for it. You'll never know if you don't give it a chance. Your sister and her bf will get used to the idea. Just be sure not to discuss personal details about the relationship with your sister. Good luck.

smsimpson

I think it really comes down to the maturity level of all parties involved.  If you date this guy and it doesn't work out (or if sister's relationship with her BF doesn't work out) are you all mature enough to see your ex without causing drama? Can you keep your relationship with BF separate from sister's relationship with her BF? If the answer is yes then I don't see why not. 

My best friend introduced me to my FI because he is best friends with the guy she was dating at the time.  My best friend and FI's best friend have since broke up, but she is my MOH and he is FI's best man. They are mature enough to see each other without problem or drama and have no problem with both being in our wedding party.  

I would however talk to you your sister about it in a little more detail (not sure how in depth your conversation on the subject was to begin with).  Get any issues she may have out in the open so you understand where she is coming from.  She may be just selfish by nature, or she may have a legitimate reason for being against you dating her BF's brother. 

Dferrari17

PharmacyBride - I'm in love with your puppies!

Beads921

I say go for it. As long as you all act like mature adults, it shouldn't cause any tension with your sister.

I started dating a good friend's (then) boyfriend's brother 3 years ago. They are now married, and I'm still with the brother. I know it's not quite the same, because we aren't sisters, but they were both really happy and excited for us. And it's not as though we all hang out all the time, either (never did). I continued my relationship with my friend OUTSIDE of our relationships with the boys, and they carried on as the brothers they always had been. I know if BF and I were to break up tomorrow, I'd still be able to be friends with the girl.

jfg4u4

Go for it... there are so many cases of this in my family... even twin sisters marrying twin brothers... 

hannahhannah1

Hey Brides! I got married in August and I just can't get enough of this stuff! So, I made a blog for you! I am sharing what worked for me and what did not. I am giving up my secrets and DOS and DON'TS! I hope that this helps! check out the link to my blog:http://weddingdaygroundhogday.blogspot.com/

DanielleZZ

ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR!!!!! 
If you really think he could be the one than go for it.  Blood is thick eventually your families will understand and if your sister is worried about her relationship being hurt maybe it isnt as meant to be as she thinks.