I learned something over the past four years: divorce and death - neither one of them have good results on family members especially when it comes to money.
Let's see...I no longer have an Aunt (mother's twin sister.) My Aunt was always rude to us and arrogant. As soon as my grandparents died (one a few months after the other,) holy Hades broke loose. Long story short, my mother (and her attorney) had been in charge of the estate, the care of my terminally-ill grandparents, etc. My Aunt, however, decided that tangible items and money was worth more than any familial relationships to the extent of breaking into the house after my grandparents' deaths and stealing items. When the dust settled, I was down one aunt who referred to her parents by their surnames only "Mr. Smith" and "Mrs. Smith" instead of "Dad" and "Mom."
My paternal grandfather died at the end of last year. That left my Aunt, my Uncle, and my Dad as the sole children. As the dust settled from that lovely event, inheritance, etc. it was realized that the items and inheritance my father and Uncle were originally told they would be receiving would not be so.
Well here's the DRAMA kicker (besides all of that which I step away from)
I have a cousin somewhere out there in the world.
Yep - a secret my aunt had been keeping from almost everyone (including her almost 30 year old daughter.) Somewhere in the world, I have a relative, and my cousin has a half-brother (my "only child" cousin that all she ever wanted growing up and now was a sibling.)
Frankly, I would love to find this person. I realize he (yep) may not be looking for any of us, but I know if I was adopted, I'd want to know the various health issues that runs in my paternal line.
Besides hiring a PI or a service, how do I go about doing so? I don't know if it was a closed adoption or an open adoption.
The child was a boy born September 15, 1980 in New York State. I believe he was adopted immediately on the day of his birth or at least became the custody of whomever does adoptions (sorry, I don't have a whole lot of experience here.)
If my aunt doesn't want to find him - that's one thing, but I do. I still don't think my cousin knows. One of the family members sent a scathing e-mail, copied my cousin in on it, and asked "P.S. [cousin name here] what's your half-brother's name?" My cousin merely replied with "Sorry - I don't know what you're talking about - LOL."
(P.S. Two different aunts in the above post. Not the same one.)