paying for bridal shower-vent!

JamieK1882

Ok so I had to vent quickly and I also wanted people's opinions on this topic. I have a large bridal party: 10 BM and 2 jr. BM. My matron of honor is my older cousin and her daughter is one of the jr. BM. My FI's neice is the other jr BM.

Somehow I got stuck in the middle of whether or not the jr BM are expected to help pay for the shower. I had assumed they do (or their parents do anyways). When I was a flower girl and jr BM in my younger days, my mom always pitched in for my fair share. My cousin plans on paying for two people (her and her daughter). My FI doesn't think his neice should have to pay and says he never heard of little girls having to chip in. Am I wrong? Obviously I dont expect them to help pay for bachlorette party cuz they wont be there, but I thought entire bridal party helped with shower.

I'm also really annoyed by the whole thing because I feel like this should be an issue between the girls and I shouldnt have to negotiate who pays for my shower.

Thanks for listening and I appreciate any feedback.

[Deleted User]

You should not be getting involved, but I agree with your FI. I don't know why you would expect little girls to help pay for your shower.

goheels05

I don't think the little girls should have to chip in, either.  But you should leave it up to them (the bridal party members).

etaraskewich

I agree, you should not be in the middle of this. And I think it's completely out of control to expect little girls to pitch in! Do you expect your flowergirl to help pay for things?? And after all, a Jr. Bridesmaid is just a kid who's too old to be a flowergirl!!

SarahPLiz

The host should coordinate with the co-hosts, whoever they might be. The host and co-hosts should plan a party they can afford. No one should be "assessed" a fee for being in the BP.

That being said, anyone can be the host or co-host(s) except for the bride or groom. No one HAS to be. This means that if the younger girls parents don't want their kids to host your shower, they don't have to. THis also means that if any one of your BMs dont want to host your shower, they don't have to. They also don't all have to pay if they are not co-hosting. It is very rude to plan a party and then tell everyone what their "share" of the cost is when they haven't been involved in planning that party.

JamieK1882

Thanks for the opinions they help!

MyNameIsNot

You should have nothing to do with this.  Paying for the shower is always optional.  Each BM decides whether she wants to chip in, and by how much.  

golden1215

I am a BM in an upcoming wedding and not only and I not contributing money to put on the shower, I may not even make it to the shower!  Showers should be paid by the person throwing it, if the little girl (and her fam) didnt offer to pay then they arent included on the "host" list and that's that.