How to spend time with FI without only talking about wedding stuff

Rachel405

Good morning!

I am having a slight dilemna and I was wondering if anyone had this experience. Since we've been engaged and started wedding planning, it seems like we only talk about money and wedding logistics. I want advice on how to keep our relationship about *us*. The wedding is, after all,only one day in our lives together. Sometimes we *have* to talk about things (make decisions, etc) but sometimes I feel like we need to just chill out and talk about other stuff like we used to.

I know now why everyone says to enjoy the stage in your relationship before you get engaged, because now that we're engaged it's like one big wedding conversation. Has anyone been through this? What do you do to keep the focus on your relationship and enjoying spending time together?

I know wedding planning is important, but I don't want our quality time to go away in place of reception details..ya feel me? Any advice appreciated.

redheadfsu

Maybe just have one night a week for wedding talk? Or plan date nights where wedding talk isn't allowed?

Are you just worried about this or is this really a problem (every conversation you have is about the wedding)? That seems a little strange. Who keeps bringing the wedding up? But if this is just idle worry, don't stress. Wedding planning gets boring/annoying, plus just normal life should prevent wedding being the only thing that you two talk about.

rlavach

Almost everyone has had to deal with this. At the beginning of our engagement, it was wedding 100% of the time. Once all of the big things were done, we took some time to reconnect as a couple. You have to still have date nights and evenings where you forbid yourself from talking about the wedding.

Now that we're in the home stretch, it's getting stressful again because it's all wedding all the time. Plus, now we just got an apartment, so that's adding to it. We plan on having a date night this weekend because the stress is building too much & making us snap. Try to devote time to relationship outside of the wedding. It is easier said than done, but worth it.

caterpillar85

Maybe try some "rules." When you eat dinner, you cannot talk about anything wedding. Ask about work/school, maybe any errands you guys need to do, what movies are coming out that you would like to see...

I like to think of one or two funny/awful/crazy things that happened to me that day. Whether it be seeing someone picking their nose in their car, or a coworker who told me a funny joke, or seeing some billboard about a ninja... typically once you start on NWR topics, they continue to flow.

Hilraythebride

Have a designated night a week for wedding talk.  Unless it is super important and will cause you to loose your venue or something else huge leave it until that night.  Don't bombard him with wedding related things the second he walks in the door, find the right time of night to talk to him about it and keep it short and to the point.  He doesn't need to know the 20 minute conversation you had with the bakery to set up the cake tasting, tell him what he needs to know and thats it.

Unless he is helping to plan everything with him you should keep it short and to the point.  My FI is planning the food, music, and tuxes so I basically just remind him to call during the day and message him the phone number.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-spend-time-with-fi-without-only-talking-about-wedding-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:831dee61-e6a8-43ca-ab67-7e29ce6d1e09Post:0b0cd9df-1755-4c02-9c17-f6b248dc67db">Re: How to spend time with FI without only talking about wedding stuff</a>:
[QUOTE]Have a designated night a week for wedding talk.  Unless it is super important and will cause you to loose your venue or something else huge leave it until that night.  Don't bombard him with wedding related things the second he walks in the door, find the right time of night to talk to him about it and keep it short and to the point.  He doesn't need to know the 20 minute conversation you had with the bakery to set up the cake tasting, tell him what he needs to know and thats it. <strong>Unless he is helping to plan everything with him you should keep it short and to the point. </strong> My FI is planning the food, music, and tuxes so I basically just remind him to call during the day and message him the phone number.
Posted by Hilraythebride[/QUOTE]
This is very true. My FI has been VERY involved. He went with me everywhere and wanted to be part of every decision. This was his choice. Not all guys are like that. A lot of them get bored or disinterested in wedding talk. Try to find the balance that works for you two.

Rachel405

Thanks everyone. I love the idea of limiting talk to certain occasions. We're going on a trip this weekend and I'm going to keep wedding talk to a minimum

TiffannieF

Keep strong Rachel...I had to bite my tongue A LOT with wedding talk.  Have you went on your wedding month board?  That's usually how I got all my wedding talk out.