Wedding and then...baby???

teetooshort

Is anybody planning on trying ASAP?

I've been with FI since 2007.  Engaged since September and our wedding is in September 2011.  With our jobs, I don't know when the "right" time will ever come up.  I'm afraid of waiting for the right time and then time just slipping away.  I don't want to wait until I'm 30+ to start planning for a baby.  I just turned 25, FI is 28.  Are you waiting or getting right on it?!???  Same question for those already married.  How long did you wait/are you waiting?

Beachy730

You don't need to rush it, unless you're really adament about starting immediately.  Enjoy just being married a little bit first.  We got married in July, and figured around 18 months we will probably start trying, but we'll see when the time comes.  H was deployed very soon after the wedding so getting pregnant right away wasn't even an option we considered. 

Manwaithiel

Ummm...25 is not that old. Unless you have a concrete reason for believing your going to have fertility problems, it doesn't sound like something you need to be stressing over just yet. My mom had all 3 of her children after 30 and this was back in the 80s and early 90s. Wait a few years, unless you and your FI both REALLY want children RIGHT NOW.

NattyGal31

25 is YOUNG, I would enjoy the wedding, enjoy being a newlywed, focus on being a wife and THEN have a baby.  

I am um, NOT 25 and even I am waiting a bit  

MrsMLRB

I am 25 and also getting married in September and we are waiting 1 year to even have the baby discussion. And we have been together also since 2007.

Babies are a lot of work. I am SO not ready to have to put some little person's needs in front of my own.

megk8oz

We're both 26, we've been married almost a year ... and yeah, we still think we're "too young". We're definitely waiting at least another year before we start TTC. We want to enjoy it being just the 2 of us and getting to spoil each other without having to worry about putting a child's needs first for a while.

sister2groom

If you do want a baby, I don't think 25 (or more likely 26+) is too young, but just because you don't want to wait until 30+ doesn't mean you need to start trying on the HM.

If you want to wait, but are afraid you'll wait too long, you can set a timeline. For example, if you haven't felt that its the "perfect time" in X amount of time (which can definitely be less than 4 or 5 years) you'll recognize then that no time will be perfect and start trying.

MyWedding13

I would like to try by our first anniversary. We love kids and would love them sooner rather than later!

sb9411

We decided we would start trying two years from our September wedding... we will both be 30.... hopefully it's easy for us to conceive!

aerinpegadrak

I'm 24.  5 years and then we'll talk about possibly starting to TTC, that's the promise.  Considering that my gut reaction when my period is even a single day late is less, "I might be pregnant, how are we going to prepare for a baby?" than "Vacuum that sucker out of me NOW," I'm pretty sure I'm not ready.  We want to enjoy the little things, like free time and disposable income, before we sign over the next 18 years of our lives.

Sorry if I'm a little vehement about it, but SSIL just had a baby and all the, "Oh, you guys are next!" talk is making me stabby.

AdeleDazeem

If you want to have kids and feel ready, then of course have children.  We're just offering our opinions on the subject.  Mine is that I really really wouldn't want to be done having children by 30.  As it is, we'll start around 31/32.  That's cool with me.  To each their own, but remember, 30 isn't old for babies.

Summer2011Bride

I'm 24 (will be 25 at our July wedding) and we've been together since 2005. We are waiting AT LEAST 3 years to even start trying. Twenty-five is still young!! Some people want kids young, and that is fine. But it sounds like you are going to start trying b/c you are concerned about having kids too late in life. The 30's aren't what they used to be; MANY women conceive in their 30's (and some in their 40's) today. I wouldn't let that rush you. Wait until you WANT to try.

Habs2Hart

I'm 26 and so is Fl.  We'll still be 26 when we get married (although that will change for me at 12am of our wedding).  We'd like to try for one before we're 30.  So we'll wait a few years, get settled, enjoy being married and make sure there is a very strong married US before bringing in extras.

SuMmErKuTiE

DH and I are both 27 and we are also in no rush to have kids. We want to enjoy being newlyweds and just being the two of us for a while. Going on trips, not needing a babysitter to decide at the last minute we want to go out with friends, or go get dinner and drinks. We also want to make sure we have a house before we start trying. We would like to start trying sometime next year, but we'll see.

Mary Susan and Chris

We are an older couple getting married for the first time. I am 38 Fi is 42. We are planning on starting right away. In fact I start fertility drugs in February so that we will hopefully Conceive on the honeymoon. We are ready to add to our family and want two kids so...we need to start right away, or we will be senior citizens when our kids are in school LOL!!!

mgietler76

I am 25 and so is FI, we have been together since 2005 and are planning on TTC right away. We both really want children and have been discussing it for a few years now, it just feels like the right time for us. As long as the only reason for wanting to start right away isn't because you don't want to at 30, than why not?

megk8oz

I will say this: if you're both actually ready (And not just thinking "I don't want to be an 'old' mom" without considering there's more to it than that), then there's nothing wrong with TTC now ... it's just not necessarily what works for everybody else.

I know that DH and I have plans that other people wouldn't agree with when it comes to our TTC timeline ... but frankly, they don't have to raise any children we produce, we do. So we're going to do what we feel is right for us (And for any potential babies), and to hell with anybody else has to say on the subject.

dara0220

My FI and I are kinda along the same lines as "if it happens, it happens" even before the wedding.  I'm 25 and he's 30.  And whether or not 25 is too young isn't the issue...It's truly if you're mature enough to handle the situation.  There are people in their 40's I wouldn't trust changing my cat's litterbox.  It's a very individual thing.  So, if you want to have a baby, do it.  But remember that baby's change EVERYTHING!  My MOH just had her baby less than a year after her wedding and it has completely changed her life.

Ps...I have fertility problems, so that's kinda why we are in the if it happens it happens catergory...but I probably will start taking fertility meds after a year of being married if it hasn't happened yet.

jenmitens

My husband and I are waiting.  I'm 26, he's 31.  But he's working full time and in law school by night.  So I rarely see him as it is.  We are going to wait until he's done with school, so about 2.5 more years. 
I tend to say, I already have two small children, a 3 year old dog, and a 31 year old Husband.  That's about all I can take right now.

DollBaby052510

I'm 20 right now and I see the frustration with family planning. My fiancée and I are getting married in 2012 and we plan to have our first kids anywhere from 2 to 3 years after we get married. I wouldn't rush having a baby right away you really need to get a feel for married life. It changes after you get married so I would give yourself time to adjust to married life before throwing a baby into the mix. If you don't want a child right away take the precautions to prevent that from happening. 

Cynthia1207

I will  be 25 and FI 30 when we get married next September.  He is more in a rush than I am to have kids but we both want to be parents.  We've decided that after the wedding I'll be off the BCP and we will let nature take it's course.  I'm hoping to be able to conceive in around March/April so not right after the wedding.  I don't really see what age has to do with anything.  If you are ready to be a responsible parent and you want to be, then you have kids.  I you don't want, you don't have and if you just want to have a baby ''because they are just soooo cute'', you don't have.

soontobeschooley

We plan on waiting at least a year after we are married before trying to have children.  I am 26 and FI is 31.  We love our freedoms and want to enjoy being married for a while and we want to be in a better place for our children.  When I say that I mean me having a job in my field (stupid economy!) and him at least finishing college.

aleighk1

I really want to on our wedding night because I have majorrr baby fever right now. But, we're going to try an wait until we're out of school and stuff.

JJWillis3

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-thenbaby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:876edce9-72fb-430b-b2d6-cefbd5a5c80aPost:b9137ad4-db9a-43c4-aba8-590b35bf13de">Re: Wedding and then...baby???</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I will say this: if you're both actually ready (And not just thinking "I don't want to be an 'old' mom" without considering there's more to it than that), then there's nothing wrong with TTC now ... it's just not necessarily what works for everybody else.</strong> I know that DH and I have plans that other people wouldn't agree with when it comes to our TTC timeline ... <strong>but frankly, they don't have to raise any children we produce, we do. So we're going to do what we feel is right for us (And for any potential babies), and to hell with anybody else has to say on the subject.
</strong>Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]

These two things in bold. I agree 100%. It's your life.

DarleneSandridge

I am the same as you. I am a younger Bride-to-Be and to be honest, I think I may be more excited to plan to start a family than plan my wedding.
By all means- if you feel you are ready and you think that you can support (which you said you were happy with both of your jobs) a baby and it is something you both want, go for it!!
I also agree with you and the age thing. I've always wanted to have kids before I was 30, I am waiiting until I am finished up with Grad School- and the wedding but then I feel like I will be ready!

katheriner89

well we aren't going to start the night of our wedding or anything.
Our wedding is in July 2011, Honeymoon isn't until Oct. 2011-I want to drink on our honeymoon! haha.

I want to have the whole thing planned out- I've started a "baby savings account", I don't want our baby to be an OOPS. We both only want one child, but my family swears i'll have twins, because it's "my turn" which I find to be insane.

I'm 21, FI is 24.. I want to try when I'm 23. I've always said I was going to either TRY to have a baby or HAVE a baby by 23. I want to be a younger mother, my mom was 32.. she wasn't able to do all the "cool" stuff with me as a teenager.
to each it's own, but I'm not birthing a child after 27. just saying.

teetooshort

Great responses!  I wanted to get a sense of how many ladies on here are ready for that next big step.  Definitely no hurry for me at the moment. 

I really like how a huge number of responses was "I'll wait till I'm/he's out of grad school!!"  Great for all of you!!  See...I've been saying that since I even considered applying for undergrad.  I knew I wouldn't get married/have kids until I was done with undergrad...then law school...then the bar exam.  So I'm done now.  My FI has a great job.  We both waited until I was done with law school and passed the bar for him to even think about proposing.  So...for me, I am ready.  I agree with a PP...just get off the bc after the wedding and let nature take its course.

I am in that phase of "zzzomg babies are so cute, so I gotta have one"!!!  I've been in that phase for a longggg time...you know...picking out baby names and middle names and wondering how they sound with his last name!!  I'm not ready this second but I think I will be soon after the wedding.  Definitely not the wedding night though!

kelmal

I've been with my fiance for 5 years now (and the wedding is finally in sight!) and when we first got together we were both adamently against having children but about a year ago we started to discuss the possibility. We haven't made a decision one way or the other, but if we do have children it probably won't be until a year to 18 months after the wedding that we start trying.

ElleestJenn

FI and I are going to wait about 3-4 years. I'll be 24 and he 25 when we get married and want to at least go further in my career, have it just be us, and travel to some places before we start. 

A couple we know who got married a year and half ago got pregnant the night of their wedding, can we say perfect timing. She already had a child from another relationship and he adopted the daughter, so having a child right away for them wasn't a big issue. But he did say that it sucked having a young baby on their 1st anniversary. They absolute love their little baby but just wished nature could of waited a little. 

Drseussgrrl

I'm 31 and my fiancée is 32.  We won't be married until next year.  Truth be told, I still don't feel ready - but also don't want to wait til it's too late.  Admittedly I am selfish my time, finances, figure :P  I really wish I could say I love kids but I like being able to give them back to their parents even more.

younge bride 101

We are waiting about four years or until we are financially ready. I say go for it if yall are both ready... good luck