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He’s not invited...long.

Let me warn you, this is a long rant.  Okay, so I’ve decided that not to invite one of my uncles.  This makes three uncles from my mom’s side that won’t be invited.  I have been on the fence about this for a few months now, but after hearing that he was saying some really mean things about my brother I decided that he’s definitely not invited (when I say I, I am not excluding FI, he says it doesn’t matter to him that it’s my decision).                                                 Who is he to talk about someone or judge others?  He is supposed to be a man of god and considers himself to be a good Christian.  He thinks that he has no flaws and is so perfect which is such bull.  For starters he has been stealing money from my cousin, about $3,000.  It’s a long story but my cousin and his mom trusted my uncle to hold my cousin’s money in an account in my uncle’s name so that it could gain interest.  They found out a few months ago that the account was nearly empty.  He really has a spending problem and rather than live within his means he decided to take, no steal, the money from my cousin.  He’s currently unemployed so I don’t understand why he would spend money that does not belong to him and not live within his means. We also had an altercation back on Christmas Eve.  That’s a long story too, but he ended up telling me that I was a bad daughter and that I don’t respect my mother.  Yes, I am such a bad daughter when I had to take my parents in because they lost their house.  They are not working (dad’s had trouble finding work) and I am supporting them.  Not to mention that my mom has never been there for me throughout my life and when I was in my late teens  I had to take care our family because she was always out partying.  Even though we live together she does not talk to me, except for when she gets mad at me and calls me a b****.  Does that make me a bad daughter?  I know that I am not, but what gives him the right to call me a bad daughter when he does not know our situation. Lastly, after he talked crap about my brother, he has the nerve to ask my brother for money for my mom’s prescriptions.  That’s a long story too, but mom was hospitalized and had her toe amputated.  Even though our relationship is strained I visited her every day.  She got out of the hospital and my uncle (her brother) is trying to take control taking her to doctor’s appointments, buying her prescriptions with money he is apparently getting from my brother.  When I found out I got so pissed.  I told him that if he needs money he needs to talk to ME and not go to my brother, my dad or anyone else.  She is my mother and I will take responsibility for her care and prescriptions.  So I am wrong for not inviting him, or are my reasons justified?
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Re: He’s not invited...long.

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    Sorry about the formatting.  When I typed it in word I had paragraphs, but when I copied and pasted it didn't format correctly.
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    It's ultimately your decision. How does your family feel about not inviting him? Will it really upset your mom/any other uncles? If not, I don't think there is anything wrong with not inviting him. If it would really upset your mom, and you are afraid it may affect your relationship, you may want to re-think it. But you know your situation best.

    And just FYI, I abhor hypocritical Christians. As a Christian, I understand I am an imperfect creature. However, teaching your children that their Catholic relatives are going to hell, or lying about life events to gain sympathy from your church friends makes you a bad person. PERIOD. Don't give me crap about how I can't  possibly understand and blah blah blah. It only makes me want to hurt you. Sorry, ending my vent.
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    Amen khornack. I know I have my flaws, but don't go trying to preach your beliefs on me. Us Christians all worship one God.

    That is a tough decision. Only you know your family and how they will react. If you truly think it is the best thing to do, then do it. I personally would hope that he would act like and adult and not bring up the past should you decide to invite him, but I know that not always happens. I just hate it when people try to ruin your day talking about stuff that doesn't matter and/or is in the past. Whatever you decide, just don't do anything that you think you will regret later.
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    In my experience, the better a Christian someone claims to be, the worse they are.  Truly good Christians (and people in general for that matter) don't have to tell you how good they are; you should be able to tell by the way they live their lives.


    The best way to know if you were right not to invite him is to ask yourself this: Can you live with the possibility of no longer having certain people in your life if they're offended by his not being invited?  If you can live with losing relationships with certain family members, possibly permanently, because of this decision then it's the right one.  Make sure you're thinking far into the future, though.  Don't base your decision on how you feel right now.  Good luck!

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    Stop The Drama!

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    Sounds like you don't want him there and if he was there, you wouldn't be enjoying yourself.  Don't invite him!
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    Most of my family are Christians but they aren't as hypocritical as he is.  I have decided not to invite him.  I can't stand being around him now, let alone on one of the happiest days of my life.  Thanks for those who listened to me rant.

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    It's clear that you don't want to invite him, so don't...

     






     

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