sex life drama!!!

lilcowgal91

so my fiance just lost his virginity to me recently and I am also hard to please. My libido has also been out the door for months now and seems like it isn't ever coming back. I also had some stuff happen to me that makes me dislike making love and i have no idea what to do. I felt nothing during sex and feel horrible about it. anything i can do to boost my libido? and any suggestions to helping our love life?

NcsuPsych

I would suggest talking to your doctor and possibly seeing a sex therapist.

achiduck

I think you need to see a therapist that specializes in sexual issues. A friend of mine had some unfortunate things happen to her in her past and went. She said it was hard, but so helpful.

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_sex-life-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8b61fde9-11ae-4601-bbe5-7fbd31b47b15Post:4f83feb5-0ead-4b4a-9f3e-0054ce8b057f">Re: sex life drama!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I would suggest talking to your doctor and possibly seeing a sex therapist.
Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]
This.  I wouldn't be asking for help from strangers.  Talk to your doctor to see if it's medical and you may want to seek counseling.

redheadfsu

Ditto pps. We are not doctors (medical or therapists). When you say stuff happened, do you mean medical or traumatic/emotional stuff? But a good place to start  (for both or either):

1. Talk to your doctor (to make sure that it is't a medical issue). As new medications or other things can effect libido.

2. You both should talk to a sex therapist. (possibly separate & together).

egeurts

Eat lots of pumpkin seeds and oysters. 

mrsthoser

Definitely talk to a doctor and/or therapist.

ChristineNB

I would talk to a medical doctor first to make sure there is no physical reason or medicine side effect to be causing this.  If that was not the case, then I would recommend you see a therapist.  Hopefully you have been open and honest with your significant other about what is going on and made it clear it's not him, as he's probably wondering if it's his lack of experience.

seesawgirl

I agree with PP's, you need to talk to a Dr about this. 

That being said, if its more of a problem with your FI not knowing what he's doing (which is what I would assume, since you came to a wedding forum to talk to women about this)...then its up to you to speak up and teach him. Good lovers are not born that way, they had a partner (or partners) that said "Do this, not that."  If he's just fumbling around, and you're not being satisfied, then I can see why it would be hard for you to get in the mood. Just be kind, and patient, give him direction. 

If this is more of a physical, emotional, chemical thing...can't help you out there, other than to say look at your health, and what you're eating and drinking. If you're not getting enough fluids and become dehydrated, that can hinder things in obvious ways.