Chit Chat
Options

Am I being petty??

I was engaged October of last year and we decided on a long engagement and are getting married june 11,2011.  One of my best girlfriends just got engaged a few weeks ago and I am way excited for her however she is getting married fairly quickly and will be married august of this year.

I am in her wedding and she is in mine... I  have not talked to my girlfriends about my wedding yet to avoid a year plus of obsessing about my wedding. Her wedding is happening right when I was planning on talking to everyone and start seriously planning my wedding; I am worried that I will not get the help I need from them because they are burnt out. I know weddings are expensive for the bridesmaids  and I just want to feel special when my turn comes with out feeling like I am taxing on my friends.

Is this petty to be thinking about my planning instead of 100 percent supporting my good friend?  Oh and she is planning to have her bridal shower on my birthday, but I think it will be fun....

help me .... am I worring for nothing or do I have a point??

Re: Am I being petty??

  • Options
    xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-being-petty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8dc016d8-9cd9-41ea-b031-66039f4e5dcePost:28aaa64e-185f-4276-babe-74cf4b3d6bd3">Re: Am I being petty??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Am I being petty?? : It doesn't always turn out to be that people are upset with their choices in BP when they make them that early. I chose my BMs within a week of being proposed to (He asked May 7, 2009), and we're getting married May 22 of this year. I do not regret even one of my choices. I know other people who have been happy with their choices, too, even having made them extra early. Just because some people make poor choices doesn't mean everyone does.
    Posted by CourtneyBC[/QUOTE]

    FYI, you are the exception and not the rule. Lurk the WPB or M&M board and see how many times a day, people post "HOW DO I DEMOTE MY MOH?"
  • Options
    OP, Pay close attention to what your friend chooses & does in her wedding as far as flowers & food & drinks & such goes.  See what works well & what just fails.  Think of her wedding as a dress rehearsal for yours.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-being-petty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8dc016d8-9cd9-41ea-b031-66039f4e5dcePost:992344c5-e4a7-418d-a070-7602e64f4ea3">Re: Am I being petty??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Am I being petty?? : FYI, you are the exception and not the rule. Lurk the WPB or M&M board and see how many times a day, people post "HOW DO I DEMOTE MY MOH?"
    Posted by xoxob[/QUOTE]


    I'm not saying it always works out well. I'm just saying it doesn't always go badly, either. To each his own. I think as long you understand what the implications of choosing early are, you can do it whenever the heck you want to. But since she's already chosen and it's too late now, anyway, our discussion is pretty much moot.

    Also, just curious. You look scarily like one of my best friends. I do a double take every time I see your picture. I know you're not her, because you're not from the same place. But I cannot help wondering your name.
    Anniversary
  • Options
    xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    Courtney, you have a PM
  • Options
    xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    Also, can anyone back me on what tommyandy said is insane?!
  • Options
    xoxo, I think it's sort of a good plan. Sort of. My FSIL got married 10/09 and my wedding's this August. I was already engaged and one of her BMs, and I definitely made mental notes of how things worked, mostly timing/organizing details. She also gave me a lot of great advice as she went along with planning etc. Like, suggesting ways to streamline the rehearsal, and I saw how necessary it would be for me to keep everyone organized the day of (we have many of the same WP members and our families are close..so it was interesting to see how the dynamics went, and I'm pretty sure mine will be about the same as far as that goes!)

    However...thinking of a friend's wedding as *your* wedding's dress rehearsal?? Totally rude. Definitely don't critique her choices, and if you think something "fails," keep comments to yourself. I know I'd feel totally dissed if someone thought my wedding sucked, but it's ok since hers will be better! Not cool lol. If a specific drink, song choice, etc goes over well, feel free to use a similar idea. But I'd say leave that as the extent of the copying, so to speak. Wow, sorry for writing so much! :)
  • Options
    Oh, and to the OP- so you're getting married 8 months after your friend? You have way more than enough time to get the girls involved. My engagement will be almost a year long and I wish we'd set a closer date. I chose my BMs within a month of getting engaged only because I'm super close to all of them. But they're just now starting to help with some of the details, with 3 months to go. Most of the planning etc has been stuff that FI and I did together. Don't be petty about this. And don't try to over-involve them, or they'll be so sick of wedding talk by the time it actually gets there, they'll be totally burnt out.
  • Options
    xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-being-petty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8dc016d8-9cd9-41ea-b031-66039f4e5dcePost:04837521-c0b8-44a8-a949-70106c4ddedb">Re: Am I being petty??</a>:
    [QUOTE]xoxo, I think it's sort of a good plan. Sort of. My FSIL got married 10/09 and my wedding's this August. I was already engaged and one of her BMs, and I definitely made mental notes of how things worked, mostly timing/organizing details. She also gave me a lot of great advice as she went along with planning etc. Like, suggesting ways to streamline the rehearsal, and I saw how necessary it would be for me to keep everyone organized the day of (we have many of the same WP members and our families are close..so it was interesting to see how the dynamics went, and I'm pretty sure mine will be about the same as far as that goes!) However...thinking of a friend's wedding as *your* wedding's dress rehearsal?? Totally rude. Definitely don't critique her choices, and if you think something "fails," keep comments to yourself. I know I'd feel totally dissed if someone thought my wedding sucked, but it's ok since hers will be better! Not cool lol. If a specific drink, song choice, etc goes over well, feel free to use a similar idea. But I'd say leave that as the extent of the copying, so to speak. Wow, sorry for writing so much! :)
    Posted by krissyg2010[/QUOTE]

    To be fair, I think that everyone has watched what to do and what not to do while attending weddings. RE: timing, etc. I have made calls on my wedding planning based on what I liked and disliked at others peoples wedding. Safe to say though, I wasn't thinking this at the weddings, it was only afterward I was like, "You know..." except for  that one where the bride demanded 2 hours of photos and cocktail hour was extended and then the food was overdone. I was talking trash at that wedding, I was over liquored and under fed.

    But to think of her friend's wedding as a "rehearsal" when really she should be thinking of her friend's wedding as her friend's WEDDING is just....no, that's not right.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-being-petty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8dc016d8-9cd9-41ea-b031-66039f4e5dcePost:4cf12ea1-0e2c-4078-b339-8e8a73bbe522">Re: Am I being petty??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, can anyone back me on what tommyandy said is insane?!
    Posted by xoxob[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with you. I would never go to someone elses wedding to take notes for my own. Yes, I learned a lot about what I did and didn't want in my wedding by being a BM in my brother's wedding, but during the preperations and on their actual wedding day, it was all about them. It wasn't until after the fact that I reflected on what I could learn from them.
    image
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-being-petty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8dc016d8-9cd9-41ea-b031-66039f4e5dcePost:4cf12ea1-0e2c-4078-b339-8e8a73bbe522">Re: Am I being petty??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, can anyone back me on what tommyandy said is insane?!
    Posted by xoxob[/QUOTE]

    Most definitely. Taking mental notes is one thing. Calling it <em>your</em> "dress rehearsal" for your wedding. So, so, so not cool. Downright rude and obnoxious.
    Anniversary
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-being-petty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8dc016d8-9cd9-41ea-b031-66039f4e5dcePost:4cf12ea1-0e2c-4078-b339-8e8a73bbe522">Re: Am I being petty??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, can anyone back me on what tommyandy said is insane?!
    Posted by xoxob[/QUOTE]

    <div>She's most definitely insane.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I'd be more than a little hurt if I found out that someone I considered a dear friend saw my wedding as just practice for her own.  </div>
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards