Chit Chat

Wedding 4 months away and FH still won't decide on a venue

The date is set for Friday, August 13th. We have it narrowed down to 2 locations, one outdoors and one indoors. But he won't make a final decision on which one he wants and it's putting a hold on everything else that comes afterwards... like rentals. The outdoors location will require rental of chairs, tables and a tent in case of rain. The indoor location has chairs and tablees, but requires linen rentals.
And of course, I can't send out invitations until a location is chosen. It's just frustrating. He says he doesn't have time to think right now. In his defense--He works full time Monday-Friday, then goes to Paramedic night classes 3 nights a week from 5-10pm and does mandatory ambulance shifts on weekend. Luckily though, he graduates from that the first week of May so all that will be over.
My question is, should I just hold off until he graduates and then make him dive into this full force, find some way to get him to make a decision now so the next month won't be just time wasted, or what? Help!

Re: Wedding 4 months away and FH still won't decide on a venue

  • This seems really odd to me.  If the issue is that he likes both, could you make the decision?  I'd be really concerned about not having the venue this far out and him refusing to address it. 
    Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11
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  • Well as I said previously, we just came up with a date last week, so its not exactly as though we've been planning for months.  There are certain things about each place that he really likes, and I guess that's what is making the decision so difficult for him. If it weren't for that, I'd just choose one of them myself.
  • Well OP later said that he set the date and wants to do it then and feels it can be done....

    So can you make the decision? Have you explained to him that the venue needs to be chosen so you can do everything else? If he likes both, can you pick or flip a coin?

    I would say, look, I need 20 minutes of your time, I know you're busy and I'm sorry, so when you have 20 minutes to do wedding stuff, can we handle the venue decision and I can start working on the rest?

    But you can't make him. If he doesn't do it soon your date will be booked and you are going to have to postpone anyways.
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  • But if he likes both equally, I don't see why you can't pick without him.  That means he'll be happy with either, right?  Being this close to the date, I'd really worry about losing your venue if you wait much longer.
    Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
    "If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
  • By "make him", I meant basically what you just said to do -- sit him down and tell him we need to discuss it and make a decision. I mean I know I can't physically force him to decide. And if he can't decide between the two, I'd just like for him to tell me to choose. But just letting day by day go by isn't getting us anywhere.
  • Maybe you should change the date if he won't talk to you until he graduates.
  • Venues are really hard to book, in my area at least... so I think you need to decide ASAP.  I would sit him down and say this is the ONLY decision you need to make right now, and we can do the others later... your food, decorations, etc can wait a little longer, but your venue cannot.  I'm surprised two venues are even still open for this August!
  • I don't understand why you're having this conversation with us instead of your FI. If he won't make a decision, you go to him and say, then you sit down with him and say, Look FI. I really need a decision. If you don't want to make the decision, that's totally cool, just let me know and I'll take care of it.
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  • JHS16JHS16 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-4-months-away-fh-still-wont-decide-venue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:9085446f-bec5-4541-87d5-cb7b63aef6e4Post:feb1e29f-867c-483e-a0a4-45ebea19d56a">Re: Wedding 4 months away and FH still won't decide on a venue</a>:
    [QUOTE]you haven't booked a venue yet for THIS august 13th? honestly i would highly doubt you'd get the date at this point anyway. <strong>still, why does he have to choose anything? it should be a joint decision. if he won't make the decision, ask him if he's ok with you making it</strong>. if not, then you need to have a come to jesus with him because he really sounds like he's trying to put it off to the point where it won't happen.
    Posted by psichick[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. </div>
  • Hi x

    I agree with the other comments made...  It will probably be difficult to confirm a date for either venue at this late stage.  I may be wrong, though!  ; )  I guess it will depend on what other bookings they have or if it gets snapped up by others.

    Normally a venue is chosen and a date set before any planning is done - in this case, I feel for you; it must be very frustrating.

    Hopefully you will get the date you want & you can talk to him about it x

    Good Luck!

    Sophie x
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