Am I crazy

Saopaulo66

So I saw this website and wanted to join, I'm not engaged. I do have a question though. My boyfriend and I are still young I'll be 22 this month and hes turning 24, however most of my friends and some people he knows happen to all be getting engaged a few of them getting married this year. So am I crazy for wanting the same as them I don't want to be jealous but I kinda wish it was me?? We plan on getting married but he wants to wait till we're a little better off. Am I also crazy for looking at wedding things already?

Avion22

It's okay to make mental notes of things you want for your (eventual) wedding, but I would caution you against doing any planning or purchasing until you are actually engaged and planning a wedding.  I read an article on MSN yesterday about crazy bridezillas who plan their entire weddings without even having BOYFRIENDS, and I gotta say that that just sounds insane to me.  Obviously that's much more extreme than what you're talking about, but still.

It's normal to be a little bit jealous of friends as you see them moving along in life (and being the center of attention at a big party), but honestly it sounds like you guys are making the best decision by waiting until you are more financially stable.  It's hard enough to be married at a young age (I know -- I married my late husband when we were both 23), but at least if you are financially stable that will reduce a lot of the stress of the first few years of marriage.

Think of it this way -- as you attend their weddings, take mental notes of things you like and things you don't like.    Then when you DO start planning your wedding you'll have some ideas to go on :-)

InstantReplay

Yes, you are crazy

mizutamababy

Echo PPs.  A lot of women here waited years before tying the knot.  DH and I were together 6 years before we finally did.  Speaking for myself, I wish we had been able to marry earlier because everybody loves a wedding, yet we weren't quite where we needed to be yet before making that decision, including the fact that it wasn't financially possible, so we waited.

It's hard, but if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.  Whatever happens, don't pressure your FI into an engagement.  It needs to be his own choice, no matter what others are doing.

Things you can do now would be:

Start saving where you can.  No need to call it a wedding fund, but it's always good to go into wedding planning with a well rounded budget should you both decide to wed.  Besides that, you never know what the future will bring and it's always good to have savings for rainy days.  Set a goal for yourselves.  As a bonus it will also give you a taste about what page you're both on financially, which great because many newlyweds fight most often about money.

Perhaps get involved in your friends' planning by offering to help out.  It'll be a good way to get a feel for what's to come should you both end up planning a wedding in the future.  It might also curb those "I wanna plan now" blues.  Check out the E board and get an idea of how you'll need to receive your guests (and the financial obligation that comes with that) and treat a WP, should you choose a wedding with either.

cwaggoner07

There is a Not Engaged Yet board where you might find tons of other girls in your situation.
I was the same way when I was 21-22 (I'm 26 now), and I was super jealous of all of my friends getting married straight out of college. It was like, if you had been in a relationship for 2 years and you were about to graduate, you got married, whether it was right or not.
I can name about 5 girls I knew in my sorority that are already divorced, 5 years out of school, because they followed this logic. Also, the guy I dated in college is now long gone from my life, and if we had gotten engaged, like he wished, we would NOT be together right now.
I'm so glad I waited, and found the right guy when I was a little more grown up. I'm not saying this guy is not who you are meant to be with, but it's not such a bad idea to put the brakes on "wedding brain."
Good luck with everything!

Maggie0829

I was in the same boat as you for many years.  H and I had been together 9 years before we were married and saw many friends begin relationships, get engaged and get married way before H and I were even engaged.

Sometimes it made me jealous, and it certainly didn't help when people asked why we weren't engaged yet since we had been together the longest out of everyone.

Needless to say you can't really control these things.  Your boyfriend will ask when he is ready and he is being very smart about waiting until you are financially more stable.  If my H and I got married sooner I would have still been in school and only working part time and he would still be working at a lower income job.  It would have been extremely difficult to start our lives off without help from our parents.  By waiting like we did we were able to save up money, move in together for a few years and then buy a house prior to being married.  It made the transition into married life a lot easier and less stressful.

Just enjoy the time you spend together and be happy with your friends.  It is perfectly fine to imagine your day but don't dwell on it because it will come one day and you will want to enjoy the planning experince.

Saopaulo66

Thank's everybody. I like the savings idea,I'm kinda doing it already so ill continue to do that. Yea i try not to look at stuff so that i don't keep thinking about it.Yaga where is that website that your talking about?

Tahlora

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_am-i-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:96cf8b4a-b73e-48c1-a141-4029d5bc57c5Post:4dc21871-0a3f-431c-a70e-54fe3239a256">Re: Am I crazy</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank's everybody. I like the savings idea,I'm kinda doing it already so ill continue to do that. Yea i try not to look at stuff so that i don't keep thinking about it.Yaga<strong> where is that website that your talking about?</strong>
Posted by Saopaulo66[/QUOTE]

Its just to the side under special topic wedding bords, not engaged yet.
This way <------