New Hampshire

Venting / good laugh for everyone!

So we are starting to get reply cards back and have found out just how clueless / ignorant / rude people can be LOL!The only children invitied to our wedding are our neices and nephews. Well, one of my cousins sent her reply in like this: Mr and Mrs XXXX AND XXXXX (their 12 year old daughter, who I barely know). My mother and I were pretty ticked - but figured it would be easier not to say something, than causing WW3. So next day - another cousin sends in her reply card with 2 additional meals checked off... her boyfriends 2 kids!! My mom flipped, she was like 'oh hell no!' LMAO!So she wrote a very nice email and sent it to each cousin, just changing the names: Hi XXXXXXX~   We just received your reply to Kelly and Neal's wedding invitation, and noticed that you included XXXXX as attending.  As much as we would love to have all of Kelly and Neal's second cousins attend the wedding, logistically, it's just not possible.  If we invite some of the second cousins, we have to invite all of them, to be fair.  On our side, alone, there would be almost 20 more people, and Neal has a huge family with lots of cousins, as well.  It's not that we're not inviting children, as there will be children at the wedding, but these are Kelly and Neal's nieces and nephews.  Maybe we should have made it more clear on the invitation.  I'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding.  We had to make the cut-off somewhere, and it wasn't an easy decision, but one that had to be made.  We hope that you understand.  We look forward to celebrating the day with you.  Can we still count on you and XXX to attend?   Thanks for understanding, Love, XXXX & XXXXXAnd this is what we got back from the 1st cousin:In which case, XXX and I would have to decline.  XXXXX is only twelve and I can't see myself telling my daughter I am going to a family event but she can't attend.  Tell Kelly I wish her well and we will send something, either by mail or via my sister, if XXXXX still plans on attending.  If not, I believe my parents are going.So this is what my mom wrote back to her:I'm sorry to hear that you won't be coming to the wedding.  I was hoping that you could understand our predicament.  As I said in my email, it was a very difficult decision to make, and one that we thought long and hard about.  We were just trying to be fair to the entire family, and Neal's as well.  I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or XXXXX's, but, obviously, I did, and for that, I'm sorry.  This is not directed at only you.  None of your cousins children will be attending.  Again...I had to make a very difficult decision, and I was hoping that you would understand.  Please don't feel obligated to send a gift...it was your "presence" we were hoping for, not your "present".   Love, XXXXMY MOM ROCKS... I KNOW!!!Thoughts??PS. Feel free to use the 1st letter for yourselves if you run into the same problem - my mom would be flattered :)It was well recieved by the cousin who added her boyfriends kids.
Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: Venting / good laugh for everyone!

  • edited December 2011
    i'm obsessed with your mom this morning!! miss manners would be so proud! we were lucky enough to not run into any guests adding people, but the day before the wedding my mom's two younger sisters announced that their boyfriends were not attending, one of them said her daughter's boyfriend was not attending, and another cousin called and said "yeah me and steve broke up he's not coming." we were like....great.....four hundred bucks down the drain.....oh family.
  • Starfish724Starfish724 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your mom is amazing! And I am totally saving that email in case I need it down the road! Thanks!!
  • edited December 2011
    Go Mom! That letter is very nicely put and to the point and I'm sure would come in handy with some Brides down the road. People are so ignorant sometimes... Have a great wedding!
  • jesse1328jesse1328 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Haha your post has just made my morning!!  We are running into SOOO many issues like this with our guestlist too!!  We aren't inviting any kids - no one even under 21 and we've still run into issues!  We've even had some aunts threaten that they are just going to bring the kids anyways, because "what are you going to do, kick us out?"!  And then we have people just adding on their own guests when one isn't even invited too!!  So, as much I feel bad that you have had to go through this too, at least I don't feel like I'm the only one anymore!!  I do LOVE your mom's responses though!!!  HILARIOUS!!!
  • edited December 2011
    Liv... I am worried about no shows too. I have heard its pretty common. A pretty Shi**y thing to do!Jesse... We're getting married the same day :) Love what you did with your shoes! I bought the same crystals (except in blue) I'm gonna steal your date idea, I was originally just going to do initials... but that looks so cute!!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • edited December 2011
    Your mom rocks!One way we minimized no shows was that I sent an e-mail out a week and a half before the wedding (using e-mail merge in word).  Saying how excited we were to get together with friends and family, but that we understood last minute things can come up and asked them to reply if they weren't able to make it, or if they wanted to change their meal choice.Two couples replied that something last minute had come up.  Not sure they would have let us know without the e-mail. (a bunch of people changed their meal too).
  • jesse1328jesse1328 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Kelstar - must be something about that date then with crazy guests!  Haha!  Awww I'm glad you like my shoes!!  Thanks :-) 
  • edited December 2011
    What a great email by your mom! I have already had one friend write an email saying that she is bringing a guest.  I wrote her back and was like "oh I didn't realize that you had a boyfriend now.  When did you guys start dating?"  (I had never heard of the guy)  Turns out she met him about a month ago and he lives clear across the country from her.  They have seen each other once.  And now he is coming to the wedding.  WTF???? I have decided to not worry about it because it is only one person.  But if all the single people start to do this (we don't have THAT many but still), there are going to be some issues!!
  • edited December 2011
    That letter is great!  It is very polite, gets the point across and even accepts some of the blame for making the invitation unclear (so the other person doesn't feel like a total idiot).  Your mom is awesome for helping you with unwanted add-ons too.
    10.10.10 Bride! Our Bio Updated 9/26
    image 129 Are ready to party! image 29 Party Poopers!
    image
  • edited December 2011
    That email is great!  I am definately saving it.  We aren't inviting any children from my side of the family.  I have 32 first cousins and am at the younger side (only 8 of us aren't married and without kids), I also have 60+ second cousins...so that would be 126 people alone with just first and second cousins.  I am definately using your mother's email if I run into this problem.Good luck with everything!  Diplomacy is tough and your mom was very polite and stuck to the plan.
  • edited December 2011
    That is awesome, I read it twice, and then I had my mom read it...we were dying. I cant even believe that.Anyways, saw you were from hudson....me too! FI and I are alvirne grads 2003. Also noticed that your a dispacther?? It caught my eye bc I am too. Just wondering if you wouldnt mind sharing where....im at hpd.
  • edited December 2011
    What a great email by your mom! I'm not very good at wording things like that so I'm definitely going to save that one! I can forsee some problems with my invitees bringing guests. I also think that reply email from your cousin was pretty immature. I mean do people think we're made of money or something??
  • fletch102483fletch102483 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Love it!!!I definitly do not want kids at my wedding (excluding my younger siblings and nephew.) I just feel like when people bring their kids, they eat and leave. I don't want to pay for all that, I'm not made of money, lol. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards