my mom.. the martyr

PharmacyBride

Background on my mom: picture supermom, superwoman, etc- my mom fits that description perfectly... giving of her time and love - constantly running around doing EVERYTHING for everyone

So my mom had extreme stomach pains last night.  She said it was better today but she thinks it is her gallbladder.  She has an appointment in the morning.  She made a comment about not taking care of it until after my sister's wedding (Saturday).  We are both very against this idea and want her well!!! 

Now I am worried she will lie to me about how sick she is.  I can't exactly invade her medical privacy.. but I know if it is serious.. she won't let on.  (She works as a hospital pharmacist - so she knows more than the average person about medical decisions- but they always say doctors make the worst patients!)

I am extremely worried and don't know what to do : (

tidetravel

I'm sorry - that really sucks.

I don't know that she hangs around much anymore, but knottie Anna.Oskar went through something similar with her dad when he was sick.  He was sick, but didn't want her to know how bad it was, wouldn't update her, she couldn't get the medical info that she needed, etc.

She may be a good person to talk to.  You could try paging her on Snarky Brides, or sending her a PM.

Good Luck!

PharmacyBride

thanks that sounds like a good idea.. your baby is getting big.. i love your constant update of photos  : )

I just had to say something out loud.. you know.. I feel sick to my stomach with worry.. but I think I would do the same thing if I was in her position.. so I understand why she is doing it

[Deleted User]

Aww, I am sorry to hear about your Mom. Hopefully you can reassure her that having her around for many years to come is more important than being and doing everything for your wedding.

kimp67

can you go to her appointment with her?

jmkes

She needs to get it taken care of.  I'm sure your sister would rather your mom take care of herself.  Hopefully the appointment will give some insight & your mom will get better!

PharmacyBride

Thanks everyone!

I don't know much about gallbladder issues and how serious they can be or how they are treated.. but I've been trying to look into it.

The most frustrating part is not knowing how bad it is.. because whatever she tells me.. I am going to think she is down playing the seriousness.

mkrupar

My SIL had to have her gallbladder removed. She went to they doctor's and they said "we have to remove this now" she didn't have a choice. It was done laproscopicly (sp?) and it was an outpatient surgery. That might happen with your mom and she might not get a say in when it's removed.

I had a former General Manager who had to have hers removed, but I feel like it was scheduled, so your mom could be right and might be able to wait to have it. I think it depends on how serious the infection/inflamation (I don't really know what causes a gallbladder to go bad) is.

I hope it all works out.

KatyRoseM

I had mine removed.  You should point out to your mom that the treatment is easy, and not a big deal.  Also it will make the wedding more fun, and it will make her more fun at the wedding.  Lastly the treatment could become a big deal if she waits (though its not likely). 

Some people don't get it treated, and deal with it through diet, but it restricts what you can eat a lot.  No one should force her to get surgery, but its probably a good idea. 

PharmacyBride

Thanks ladies!!  My sister and I definitely want her to take care of it ASAP.. but when we told her this.. she didn't really accept what we were saying- which is why I am so worried that she will just lie to us about how bad it is.

She hasn't answered her phone.. her appointment was at 9:30.  My dad says the office is right across the street from the mall.. so she is probably just out shopping.. still.. I am going to worry!!

PharmacyBride

UPDATE: according to my mom- as long as she doesn't have a fever- it isn't considered an emergency- which she doesn't

She said when she had the pain - it was severe and lasted 10 hours.. so let's just hope it doesn't decide to creep back up on her this weekend

thanks for letting me talk about it- it helped

HobokensFury

Glad to hear your mom is feeling better

catemeg

Glad to hear she's feeling better!  If you both are truly worried and want to make sure she sees a doctor before Saturday (usually gallstones aren't THAT big of a deal and can wait a few days, just FYI) then I'd lay some good old fashioned guilt on her.

Have your sister let your mother know that she just couldn't enjoy her wedding if she was worried about your Mom, and it would make her much more relaxed for the wedding if she knew her Mom was okay.  That worrying about her health would distract her during the ceremony, and she just couldn't put her whole mind towards her wedding until she knew her Mom was okay.

Try and have Mom talk her way out of that one!

anna.oskar

Sorry to hear about your mom not feeling well PharmB!

Parents can be awfully stubborn stubborn sometimes.  i think of it as payback for our little rebellious streaks as children.

if you still need to chat, feel free to PM me out yell for me over on snarky brides.