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Body Shape vs Clothes

I'm so sick of shopping for clothes and I finally know why!

When I went for my first fitting at the bridal shop, the poor seamstress did a triple take when she took my measurements and remeasured my hips 4 times! I plugged my measurements into the web and discovered that I don't come close to fitting into a single size!

My bust is 45" which puts me at a 16/18, with a 36DDD/F bra size
My waist is 34" which is a solid 14
My hips are 50" which is a 20/22

Please tell me I am not alone in this nightmare?? So many shopping trips end with tears and nothing purchased except accessories like shoes, purses, and jewelry.
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