Basically...I Just Need A Hug

kelmal

It's been a long week and while I got great news today (my dress arrived!) I am feeling blue...and, well, ugly.

To get it out there, this is not your typical "oh woe is me, I'm insecure" whining. On a normal day, I am a bouncy love-myself kind of lady. But, I have a condition called Hidradenitis Supprativa and I am sitting here in EXTREME pain under my right arm and on my left groin. I have to go  in for a 5th pointless surgery soon and I am so so so so so tired of the scars that decorate my body. Long 4in puckered purple angry marks. How on earth can my fiance find that attractive? And where there aren't scars there are sinus tracks, lumps, and literal HOLES accenting the whole deal.

Ugh. I need a hug ladies. I hate to sound whiney and pathetic but my sweetie is out with The Boys tonight and I just need...compassion.

jedaniel

Your fiancee is marrying you because he loves you! No matter what you look like! "AIR HUG"

cwcottage

Hugs to you Kemal.

Good news about the dress but it sounds like it came on a blue day. I'm sorry. get a good nights sleep and things will look brighter in the morning. Nights can be the worst time when we are feeling down.

I'm not familiar with your condition but and it sounds painful. Having repetitive surgery can be very depressing literally. If you have had general anesthesia it can cause bouts of depression.

I can relate to the scars although mine were elective. I had gastric bypass surgery several years ago and was married at that time. In the several years post op I had many more reconstructive procedures to remove the skin that was left after losing so much weight. I call myself Bride of Frankenstein lol It didn't bother me or my ex husband. Once I became single though it was a real deal to wrap my head around. How was any man ever going to find me attractive? I dated a few before meeting my FI and it was never a problem anyone and it isn't with him either. It was all my insecurity.

Your man loves YOU and your scars are part of you and your history. And that's all I got to say about that  Feel better hun.

deepcovejackie

OP--Hug!  that's so unfair, but we all have our vulnerable spots.