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what would you do?

Ok so this is going to be a bit long and I apologize now for that. I will try and shorten it up as much as possible...

Ok so I am getting married next March and I am planning and paying for my wedding. A friend of mine eloped last year and is now coming home and having a HUGE wedding up here in two weeks.

So her maid of honor waited until the last minute to plan her shower and bachelorette party despite multiple bridesmaids reaching out multiple times to ask what and when we were doing things and if we could help. She took suggestions and that was it.

Two weeks ago (a month before wedding) I recieved an invite to both a shower and a bachelorette party. She is throwing both the weekend before the wedding, one right after the other. So...I am upset because I am expected to come up with a shower gift, money to go bar hopping (cover charges, I dont have money so I wouldnt drink) an hour away from my house and then hotel money, money to have my dress altered, and a wedding gift. I think this is insane! It wouldnt have been a big deal had I have known in advance so I could have planned for it.

I am having to put my wedding plans on hold because I have all this stuff to pay for for hers. I made a comment to another bridesmaid about not bringing a gift to the shower and she flipped and said it would be rude.  So now I feel like I am going to be a horrible friend/bridesmaid no matter what choice I make. I cant talk to the bride because she doesnt know anything, its all a surpise.

So I thought I had figured out a way to move money around and make things work, and then I get an email that my wedding dress has arrived so my final payment is due. So now, I have no money extra because that extra money needs to go to my dress.

So what do I do? Do I go to the wedding without a gift and go to the bachelorette party? Do I skip the bachelorette party and get a shower gift that shell actually use? Do I skip both? What would you do?

And am I the only one who thinks its weird thats shes having a bachelorette party when shes already married???
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