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"Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids

I went on my own to find a replacement dress bc the dress I originally bought had a bad buying experience attached to it.  I had tried to go to Mockingbird Bridal Boutique in Dallas but when I got there I found out I'd have to wait until 2 1/2 hrs later to even go inside b4 they opened.  Feeling adventurous I decided to drive over to Terry Costa. While I did find my dream dress, I felt really sad and lonely with no one there to cheer me on.  Seeing the other brides and their families so emotionally supportive of eachother and the love that existed really hurt and reminded me of the fact that I had just lost my best friend in early February and that even though my boyfriend and are aren't engaged we still have a long way to go and I'm not sure how to handle the stress of being really and truly alone in viewing and making a dress selection.  I felt that bc no one else was paying for any aspect of our wedding that whatever dress I chose, would be seen by me only up until the big day.  Not even Aaron's gonna get to see it until then.  What should I do?  I haven't bought my new dress yet and I don't feel right about choosing a dress alone but I don't have any relatives or friends that I feel close to...not even my own mother. HELP!

Re: "Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids

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    like you stated, you aren't engaged and "still have a long way to go, " i honestly wouldn't worry about it right now.

    i went dress shopping with my mother and that was enough....some bring a bunch of people, but i know a lot of women that went by themselves and loved it.  you don't necessarily need to bring others, but if it's something you'll be doing in the future: once you get engaged, everyone will be so excited for you. relatives, friends, everyone will want to help out in some way. you may not be close with you mother at this point, but getting engaged and planning and wedding may bring you two together - who knows :)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_girl-friends-family-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a826dd84-2d6d-453e-989c-7a56298fd147Post:5ced8dd6-0e2c-40ef-8f41-f89e0183bb51">"Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]I went on my own to find a replacement dress bc the dress I originally bought had a bad buying experience attached to it.  I had tried to go to Mockingbird Bridal Boutique in Dallas but when I got there I found out I'd have to wait until 2 1/2 hrs later to even go inside b4 they opened.  Feeling adventurous I decided to drive over to Terry Costa. While I did find my dream dress, I felt really sad and lonely with no one there to cheer me on.  Seeing the other brides and their families so emotionally supportive of eachother and the love that existed really hurt and reminded me of the fact that I had just lost my best friend in early February and that even though my boyfriend and are aren't engaged we still have a long way to go and I'm not sure how to handle the stress of being really and truly alone in viewing and making a dress selection.  I felt that bc no one else was paying for any aspect of our wedding that whatever dress I chose, would be seen by me only up until the big day.  Not even Aaron's gonna get to see it until then.  What should I do?  I haven't bought my new dress yet and I don't feel right about choosing a dress alone but I don't have any relatives or friends that I feel close to...not even my own mother. HELP!
    Posted by Sassy28[/QUOTE]
    Why are you buying a dress if you are not even engaged? Do you (meaning, you and him. As in, he knows about it) have a wedding date set?
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    Thank you! I really hope I can keep it together before the big day next year.  And I really appreciate the fact that you actually responded to my concerns.  Right now I'm really hoping that Aaron get his new job in the next week and that he can actually pop the inevitably big question to me soon.  He was shopping for rings just a few days ago in fact so...I really hope he gets it together and helps me through this as best he can.
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    Oh yeah!  When we started "The Talk" about weddings, we quickly agreed on a spring wedding and it didn't take long to figure out the date from there.  Let me put it to you this way, when we met, after only two to three weeks, Aaron knew right off the bat that I was "The One" for him after he started talking to me.  After I actually accepted his request to become his girlfriend, things slowly but surely started falling into place...sort of.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_girl-friends-family-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a826dd84-2d6d-453e-989c-7a56298fd147Post:e9182c92-11f1-458b-a8fc-5c75bdc93edf">Re: "Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh yeah!  When we started "The Talk" about weddings, we quickly agreed on a spring wedding and it didn't take long to figure out the date from there.  Let me put it to you this way, when we met, after only two to three weeks, Aaron knew right off the bat that I was "The One" for him after he started talking to me.  After I actually accepted his request to become his girlfriend, things slowly but surely started falling into place...sort of.
    Posted by Sassy28[/QUOTE]
    Ok, I see. Well, if you have already set a date and are planning a wedding together then you are engaged. Congrats!
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    jennylove810jennylove810 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited April 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_girl-friends-family-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a826dd84-2d6d-453e-989c-7a56298fd147Post:41932e6f-bb61-4032-8565-e55357a5f3d8">Re: "Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids : Ok, I see. Well, if you have already set a date and are planning a wedding together then you are engaged. Congrats!
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    No proposal and still shopping for rings does not an engagement make.  Close, but no.

    OP - I'm sorry you lost your best friend :(  Your post confuses me though, are you saying that because no one else is paying for your wedding, that no one else is allowed to see your dress?

    When I bought mine, I brought along my mom, sister, and a couple bridesmaids.  My mom and I haven't always been close but planning a wedding has brought us closer and it's been really wonderful.  Perhaps this could also happen to you?  When you do get engaged, chances are that many people will be happy for you and eager to be part of your day.  I think you'll find the support and excitement you seem to be looking for.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_girl-friends-family-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a826dd84-2d6d-453e-989c-7a56298fd147Post:d3ab0f22-cbe3-4a87-a72f-4789ca2e6bcb">Re: "Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids : No proposal and still shopping for rings does not an engagement make.  Close, but no. OP - I'm sorry you lost your best friend :(  Your post confuses me though, are you saying that because no one else is paying for your wedding, that no one else is allowed to see your dress? When I bought mine, I brought along my mom, sister, and a couple bridesmaids.  My mom and I haven't always been close but planning a wedding has brought us closer and it's been really wonderful.  Perhaps this could also happen to you?  When you do get engaged, chances are that many people will be happy for you and eager to be part of your day.  I think you'll find the support and excitement you seem to be looking for.
    Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]
    Well, if they are planning a wedding together then yes, they are engaged.
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    Thank you both sooo much!  The reason why I went alone is bc I want my dress to be a surprise for EVERYBODY on the big day!  I can't wait til it comes next year!  And I think you're right-this might bring my mother a little closer together with me like I've been wanting her to for years. I just always envisioned a bit more support than what I have now.  It sucks when you loose friends like I have but I thank you for your condolences.  Plus, I think it'll add that special spark thats needed in remembering those we no longer have but who always live on for us.
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    To add to the engaged/not engaged debate.... i think she's not engaged.....yet.
    my fiance and I decided last spring that we would get married this coming July, and we set a date, and found a reception hall, and booked it, and lots of other wedding stuff before we were actually "ENGAGED" 
    kind of weird... yeah, but we had already bought the ring in February, and I knew the actual question was coming... he just wanted to wait for a special day ( our college homecoming weekend, at the restaurant where we first met when we were in school)... so were we engaged before that.. no. were we still planning a wedding.... yes indeed.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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    en·gaged

    AC_FL_RunContent = 0; var interfaceflash = new LEXICOFlashObject ( "http://sp.ask.com/dictstatic/d/g/speaker.swf", "speaker", "17", "15", "http://dictionary.reference.com/audio.html/lunaWAV/E01/E0188800\" target=\"_blank\">imagehttp://sp.ask.com/dictstatic/g/d/speaker.gif\&quot;" border="\"0\"" alt="\"engaged" style="display:none;" class="show_ipapr">/ɛnˈgeɪdʒd/ Show Spelled[en-geyjd] Show IPA
    –adjective
    1.
    busy or occupied; involved: deeply engaged in conversation.
    2.
    pledged to be married; betrothed: an engaged couple.


    Eh, once you're planning and all that you have pledged to marry eachother and therefor, engaged.
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    I have noticed that there are quite a few people who aren't engaged, and some who done even have boyfriends, who are looking for THE DRESS.  When you find it, you want it.  I bought my dress 8 years ago, and I'm getting married in October.  I was engaged at the time I bought it, but it was as close to my dream dress as I was going to get so I'm using it now.
    Anniversary
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_girl-friends-family-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a826dd84-2d6d-453e-989c-7a56298fd147Post:390a7c76-198b-4b26-9e4c-ddf99857496c">Re: "Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have noticed that there are quite a few people who aren't engaged, and some who done even have boyfriends, who are looking for THE DRESS.  When you find it, you want it.  I bought my dress 8 years ago, and I'm getting married in October.  I was engaged at the time I bought it, but it was as close to my dream dress as I was going to get so I'm using it now.
    Posted by Ashly018[/QUOTE]
    It's just weird to buy a  dress if you and your fiance are not planning a wedding. Creepy.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_girl-friends-family-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a826dd84-2d6d-453e-989c-7a56298fd147Post:9bc42fba-41fa-4e71-8e89-3f974cfbe468">Re: "Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids : It's just weird to buy a  dress if you and your fiance are not planning a wedding. Creepy.
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    Agreed.  I don't know if you've read Jennifer Love Hewitt's book, but she talks about how every single month since she was a teenager, she's gone to a jewelry store to try on engagement rings.  Just... not normal behavior.
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    edited April 2010
    I was engaged when I went looking for my dress, I just didn't wear it to get married... Until now.  I bought a dress that was as close to what I envisioned as my perfect dress, and 8 years later it still is what I want as my "dream" dress.  I know people who have gone dress shopping with their friends who were getting married and saw THE DRESS.  You don't have to actually be LOOKING for a dress to find one.  When you see it, and it's the perfect one you have to decide, Do I get it now, or do I hope it's available when ever I do get engaged?  I'm not saying that I would go to every bridal store in the area on a regular basis trying on dresses, but if I just so happened to be there for one reason or another and found it....
    Anniversary
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_girl-friends-family-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a826dd84-2d6d-453e-989c-7a56298fd147Post:170d4727-4e79-4c5a-b68e-7f40b0a3a2d2">Re: "Girl" Friends, family and bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was engaged when I went looking for my dress, I just didn't wear it to get married... Until now.  I bought a dress that was as close to what I envisioned as my perfect dress, and 8 years later it still is what I want as my "dream" dress.  I know people who have gone dress shopping with their friends who were getting married and saw THE DRESS.  You don't have to actually be LOOKING for a dress to find one.  When you see it, and it's the perfect one you have to decide, Do I get it now, or do I hope it's available when ever I do get engaged?  I'm not saying that I would go to every bridal store in the area on a regular basis trying on dresses, but if I just so happened to be there for one reason or another and found it....
    Posted by Ashly018[/QUOTE]
    Yea, in your case thats fine, make sense.
    I told my BF what you said though about non engaged girls buying a wedding dress and he said "Can you imagine if their BF or a guy they were dating came over and saw a wedding dress hanging in their closet? Creepy"
    As Jenny said, not normal behaviour.
    I mean I'velooked at wedding stuff when I was in HS and not engaged but to actually purchase something for your someday wedding is just weird.
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    To the OP, why don't you take a picture of yourself and post it on here.  Usually everyone likes to see other girls dresses and you won't be ruining the surprise to your guests and still be able to show "someone".
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    I would except that I didn't buy my replacement gown yet and the first gown I bought is up for auction right now on eBay.  Hopefully when I sell this dress, I'll be able to take the money made from that sale and put it towards my replacement gown.
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    I agree with pretty much everything Roxy has said in this thread.

    If you're actually planning the wedding and booking things, you're engaged.  The ring is just a symbol of that.  Once you've agree to marry each other and have begun plannign the wedding, you're engaged.  You might want to have the traditional proposal, but that doesn't change what you're doing.
    Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
    "If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
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    Just a friendly update on my current dress, I broke down and put it up for sale with a cosignment shop.  Hopefully it'll sell soon.....
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    Having a wedding date set, actively scouting venues and making wedding related purchases together, but no ring = engaged

    Talking about getting married in general terms, with no specific plans being made, no ring = not engaged

    FI and I started talking about our future together and decided we were going to get married about three months before he actually proposed.  However, we didn't start making any concrete plans until the ring was on my finger.  Once you start talking in terms of specifics rather than in hypotheticals and general taste (as in, "Let's do this" vs. "that's kind of a cool idea"), you're engaged.

    My take on it, anyway.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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