At a dead end....please help

hanthel07

My fiances family and I have our difference and about a month ago, we got into a huge fight and stopped talking. They told my fiancé to end things with me, but my fiancé and I worked on our relationship. The problem I'm having is since the fight they have deleted me of FB which I don't care much about, but they post really mean comments about me on their page that I can access from my fiancé page. With the wedding being 9 months away I don't want drama and wanted to work things out with them yet I was pushed away. A few days ago my fiancé posted a status about me on fb and his family laughed about it and said really mean things about me. He told me I was reading too much into it. What is the best advice from others with dealing with in laws such as mine.

bonge

i would let him take care of it. He should stick up for you. If he doesn't & lets them treat you like that then you have a fiance problem not an inlaw problem. Tell him how hurt you are about it all & that you don't think it is very nice that they say mean things & he doesn't defend you. See what he says.

May i ask what the fight was about? If you don't want to say that is fine, but it would help you get better advice if people knew what the deal was.

hanthel07

I posted something on fb about a show I was watching and his mom took it as to her and started yelling at me and cussing At me. He says I'm looking too much into their recent fb status about me, which clearly has my name.

AceTT

Your fiance should be sticking up for you. Talk to him about it, explain how it affects you, and let him deal with it.

redheadfsu

Your FI should be telling his family, "I'm in love and marrying hanthel07. You don't have to like her, but you do have to respect our relationship, therefore, please keep any of your mean comments to yourselves."

ceh789

I swear to god in a thousand years when historians figure out why our civilization imploded they're going to trace it back to Facebook.

OP - unplug.  FB is not life.

And yes, FI should be sticking up for you.  I'd 'unfriend' my own family if they persisted in posting rude things about my FI.

mbody

What are your FIs reactions? Other than him telling you you're 'reading too much into it.' Has he said anything to his family? Has he stuck up for you? Honestly, if I was in your position, and my FI wasn't sticking up for me and telling his family to go suck an egg, I'd be out.

RailWayWife

This all sounds very immature. Lets all fight over Facebook! YAY! 

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_at-a-dead-endplease-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ac9716b1-0047-4691-bdf2-c1a19fd1e850Post:9f4652b4-1df0-4491-b48a-4ef452d26229">Re: At a dead end....please help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: At a dead end....please help : Truth.  FB is evil.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

No truer words were ever spoken. When friends pester me about why I don't have a FB account, I say

1. I value my privacy, and
2. Too.much.drama.

OBX2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_at-a-dead-endplease-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ac9716b1-0047-4691-bdf2-c1a19fd1e850Post:86aa338d-8bc6-4c02-ba8c-d7533a3dc4e4">At a dead end....please help</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiances family and I have our difference and about a month ago, we got into a huge fight and stopped talking. They told my fiancé to end things with me, but my fiancé and I worked on our relationship. The problem I'm having is since the fight they have deleted me of FB which I don't care much about, but they post really mean comments about me on their page that I can access from my fiancé page. With the wedding being 9 months away I don't want drama and wanted to work things out with them yet I was pushed away. A few days ago my fiancé posted a status about me on fb and his family laughed about it and said really mean things about me.<strong> He told me I was reading too much into it.</strong> What is the best advice from others with dealing with in laws such as mine.
Posted by hanthel07[/QUOTE]

Sorry, but your FI sounds like a douche.  My H would never ever in a million years allow anyone, especially his family, disrespect me in such a manner.

Your FI needs to defend you and step up to his family and tell them to knock it off.  Do either of you really want these people at your wedding if they are going around bad-mouthing you?  I think not.

Your FI needs to sit down with his family and speak to them about their behavior.  He needs to do this first, by himself, and then at a later date, maybe all of you can talk. This needs to be fixed NOW b/c it will only get worse.  Getting married will not magically dissolve these problems.

TaraMc728

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_at-a-dead-endplease-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ac9716b1-0047-4691-bdf2-c1a19fd1e850Post:be587903-536b-4ebd-b71a-dfb34b034cda">Re: At a dead end....please help</a>:
[QUOTE]What are your FIs reactions? Other than him telling you you're 'reading too much into it.' Has he said anything to his family? Has he stuck up for you? Honestly, if I was in your position, and my FI wasn't sticking up for me and telling his family to go suck an egg, I'd be out.
Posted by mbody[/QUOTE]

Exactly this.

hanthel07

Thank you everyone for the advice. I actually had a very serious converstation with my fiance about this issue this morning, and I showed him what they have said about me. He was very upset and didn't relaize they took it to that extreme. I do agree FB is stupid to even have an argument about. I felt that if they had a problem they should adress it to me personally and not blast it on FB they are all 30+. Well my fiance is putting his family in check and as of right now, they are no longer part of our life. What they said was very hurtful and when my fiance saw it he was shocked.