Rehearsal woes

tonyateacher

My parents are paying for a lovely wedding but I am having problems trying to figure out what to do about the rehearsal.  Traditionally, the groom's parents plan the rehearsal dinner but I am pretty sure that his mother and father have absolutely no clue that this occurs.  On top of everything, they don't have money to put towards it.  I was laid off six months ago so paying for it ourselves it at this point not an option.  My mom asked the other day a little huffily if they have to pay for the rehearsal dinner too.  Anyone have any ideas?

Thanks for any and all suggestions!

christinelyn0131

Well, I'm way far out, but I told FI "y'know, your parents pay for the rehearsal dinner." His response was something like "Oh, really? I'll tell them that."

You could talk to your parents and his parents and see what they want to do. A lot of brides are doing pizza and beer for the rehearsal, since that's pretty cost efficient. 

If you do have to pay for it, my suggestion is to do it at your house, buy 3 $1 boxes of ziti and 2 jars of $3 sauce (I know this is sacreligious), boil it off, and serve that. There's dinner for 12 on $9

jmkes

Where will your rehearsal be?  If you are getting married in a church see if you can use one of their rooms there to have a small dinner.  Limit the guests to just the wedding party (and spouses of course.)  Pasta is always cheap to cook.  Or like pp said, a lot of people are doing pizza.  Buy gallons of iced tea or other drinks from Sam's Club or Wal-Mart.  Suggest that to your FI's parents and see if there is any portion they can help with - even if it's just cooking the food to bring to it.  The RD doesn't have to be a big affair. 

waltzingmatilda13

Don't ask anyone to pay for anything. You already said they don't have the money, so why would you even consider asking?

RDs don't have to be fancy. Like pp said, pizza or a BBQ would be completely acceptable. Have it at your house if you have to. Limit the guest list to WP and SOs only. Don't serve alcohol and get cheap food. Some of the cheapest RDs can be some of the most fun. It's really about honoring the people who mean the most to you.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_rehearsal-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:b301e6a2-3bc8-4655-959c-fc0b50a252a8Post:572c3fe0-e5d1-461e-9417-dfefec00ce29">Re: Rehearsal woes</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't ask anyone to pay for anything. You already said they don't have the money, so why would you even consider asking? RDs don't have to be fancy. Like pp said, pizza or a BBQ would be completely acceptable. Have it at your house if you have to. Limit the guest list to WP and SOs only. Don't serve alcohol and get cheap food. <strong>Some of the cheapest RDs can be some of the most fun. It's really about honoring the people who mean the most to you.
</strong>Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

Exactly!!

JZags

TonyaTeacher, since you're getting married in May, weather permitting, you could have a cookout and grill burgers and hot dogs and just get sides like pasta salad, coleslaw, etc and just have a big cookout. I've had some friends that have been to rehearsal dinner cookouts and they loved it. With the cost of grilling food being less than having a formal dinner maybe your FI's parents would be able to contribute a bit or just make a side dish. I also agree with the PP's, pizza and beer is great too! The RD doesn't have to be super formal. IMO, a cookout lends itself to a more relaxed feel which is what I'd like for my RD. The wedding day will be so busy that I'd just like a little extra time to relax and chat with the people that are closest to FI and I before the craziness ensues.

redheadfsu

You can not ask anyone to pay for anything related to your wedding. People can offer, but do not ask or tell them what they will pay for. That is very rude. Tradition has gone out the window, so please don't expect his parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner.

Just provide cheap pizza, BBQ, pasta, hotdogs, burgers, etc. Don't make it fancy. You can have it at the church or at your house. Your bio has  that your wedding is on 5/21/2011, so you have time to save up a few hundred to host a cheap rehearsal dinner.

trix1223

It's inappropriate for you to ask anyone to fund any part of your wedding.  An RD can be a tray of Costco lasagna and a salad.  Add in beverage, and you're set.

It can be pizzas in the back room of your favorite pizza place.  It can be, as PP said, a simple picnis or BBQ.  It can be a sandwich tray in the fellowship hall of the church.

If you and your FI decide, between now and May, to skip Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, and Valentine's gifts to each other, you'll be able to afford paying for your own RD.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_rehearsal-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b301e6a2-3bc8-4655-959c-fc0b50a252a8Post:1f689a4d-6f79-437b-8a09-3316b07bddc4">Rehearsal woes</a>:
[QUOTE]My parents are paying for a lovely wedding but I am having problems trying to figure out what to do about the rehearsal.  Traditionally, the groom's parents plan the rehearsal dinner but I am pretty sure that his mother and father have absolutely no clue that this occurs.  On top of everything, they don't have money to put towards it.  I was laid off six months ago so paying for it ourselves it at this point not an option.  My mom asked the other day a little huffily if they have to pay for the rehearsal dinner too.  Anyone have any ideas? Thanks for any and all suggestions!
Posted by tonyateacher[/QUOTE]

dittmerbullard2010

I agree with the others. It doesn't have to be a big event. We are doing three different crock pot meals. They will be cooking all day while we are working on the wedding site, and then when we are done with rehearsal, dinner will be done too!

Midgetth

MY FI & I are paying for everything. Our wedding & rehersal dinner. We are  having everyone come back to our apartment & have pizza. Our Mom's offered to make a dish to bring with them. The rehersal doesn't have to be a big affair. We're only having our wedding party & parents.

hyperpolyglot

Ever thought of pot luck? Does your FMIL make some dish that her son (your FI) just loves?

jenellsrevenge

We're having a cookout for ours. My FI's dad has his own construction company, which is great when there is plenty of work, but you just never right now. We chose this option because they can easily purchase the supplies for the RD for a couple of months leading up to the RD and simply freeze the meat. The only thing that really has to be bought right before is the buns, cole slaw, and potatoes for potato salad.

AdeleDazeem

I'm poking myself in the eye over some of these responses.

Potluck?  No.  Your guests should be provided a hosted meal as a thank you for coming to the rehearsal, not provide it.

Tell your in-laws that they have to pay for it?  No way, Jose.  Let me know how that works out for you.

OP - rehearsal dinners do not have to be expensive.  Bake some lasagnas and put them in the freezer and offer soda.  Have it in a backyard or the parish room of the church.  Do whatever you can afford - it'll be fine!

NickDanielleB

While FI's parents are paying for the RD, if they we're not I'd to a cookout or a crockpot dinner or better off a BBQ. Those are easy, cheap and relaxing for everyone. Who doesn't love a good burger, turkey-burger or hot dog?

aerinpegadrak

The night before the wedding, we hosted pizza and beer for about 20 of our guests.  The cost was about $80.  The afternoon of the wedding, we got catering from an Italian fast food place and some 2-liters of soda for about 45.  That cost about $200.  It really doesn't have to be expensive.

JenO24

FI asked his Dad to help do the RD and he said ok.
We're doing hamburgers and hotdogs w/ all the fixing (FFIL), I'm making pasta salad and fruit salad, and my Mom is making baked beans.

A RD doesnt have to be some lavish affair at a 5 star restaurant...it can be as casual as you want it to be no matter who ends up paying for it.  If you're wedding isnt' until 2011 you dont need to be planning out the details now you have time to worry about this later...and to say money!

[Deleted User]

Don't ask anyone to pay for the RD. Like pp's said, it doesn't have to be fancy. If your FI parents want to pay for it/host it, they will offer. If not, plan it yourselves. Nothing is required of them.

tonyateacher

Thanks everyone!  I like the cook-out idea but I am trying to stay away from everyone having to work their tails off just for us to get hitched.  We are having wedding and reception at my parents house so there will be plenty of work to do anyway.  Pizza and drinks sounds like the easiest and cheapest way to go! 

Joy, you crack me up! 

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_rehearsal-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b301e6a2-3bc8-4655-959c-fc0b50a252a8Post:3eaac5e5-31d3-467c-bd85-6df45b697135">Re: Rehearsal woes</a>:
[QUOTE]  Joy, you crack me up!  :)
Posted by tonyateacher[/QUOTE]

Ha - happy to help.  Good luck!