how to write perfect vows

krissaawyer2012

what is the best way to write the perfect wedding vows. is it always so nerve wracking when your getting married

Avion22

My only advice would be to make sure that your vows are actually vows.  They should be promises that you are making to each other, and that you fully intend to keep.

Most people's vows end up sounding more like all of the reasons they love each other.  This is great, but it's not a set of promises.  If people want to do this, I think they should "declare their love" before the actual vow (promise) part.   

The traditional vows (to have and to hold, in richer or poorer, sickness and health, etc) are a good place to start.  Think about what those words mean to you, and why they are so popular as vows.  Now think about your relationship with your fiance, and think about what you want to promise him.  

And please....don't try to be too cute or funny.  A little personalized humor is okay (again, more appropriate for the "declaration of love" part than the actual promises).  Nothing makes me cringe more than "vows" that are disparaging (like promiseing to love him after he goes bald -- I mean that's just kind of insulting), or are impossible to keep (like letting him have the remote control).   

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-write-perfect-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:b339a9dd-2d4d-42bc-9bd4-4a0b353fc55dPost:ae9cd337-aedd-4baa-8f6a-a37b0ba1ec28">Re: how to write perfect vows</a>:
[QUOTE]My only advice would be to make sure that your vows are actually vows.  They should be promises that you are making to each other, and that you fully intend to keep. Most people's vows end up sounding more like all of the reasons they love each other.  This is great, but it's not a set of promises.  If people want to do this, I think they should "declare their love" before the actual vow (promise) part.    The traditional vows (to have and to hold, in richer or poorer, sickness and health, etc) are a good place to start.  Think about what those words mean to you, and why they are so popular as vows.  Now think about your relationship with your fiance, and think about what you want to promise him.   And please....don't try to be too cute or funny.  A little personalized humor is okay (again, more appropriate for the "declaration of love" part than the actual promises).  Nothing makes me cringe more than "vows" that are disparaging (like promiseing to love him after he goes bald -- I mean that's just kind of insulting), or are impossible to keep (like letting him have the remote control).   
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

This exactly.  I've been to weddings, listening to the "vows" and afterwards muttering, when in the hell were the vows!?!? 

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-write-perfect-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b339a9dd-2d4d-42bc-9bd4-4a0b353fc55dPost:ae9cd337-aedd-4baa-8f6a-a37b0ba1ec28">Re: how to write perfect vows</a>:
[QUOTE]Most people's vows end up sounding more like all of the reasons they love each other.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
I hate that.  I'm always sitting there waiting for them to start on actual vows and then left hanging.  Then I feel like I"m being hyper critical for noticing that they didn't actually promise anything.

goobersinlove

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-write-perfect-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b339a9dd-2d4d-42bc-9bd4-4a0b353fc55dPost:ffd9fa8a-ac48-47c6-85bd-3fc76f282212">Re: how to write perfect vows</a>:
[QUOTE]Avion, you hit on one of my WR pet peeves.  I cringe when I hear home-brewed "vows" that don't contain any promises.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

Thank you! Me too!!!

And the ones that start telling their life story, and include things like, "We've been through a lot of hard times, etc."

julbgordo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-to-write-perfect-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b339a9dd-2d4d-42bc-9bd4-4a0b353fc55dPost:ae9cd337-aedd-4baa-8f6a-a37b0ba1ec28">Re: how to write perfect vows</a>:
[QUOTE]My only advice would be to make sure that your vows are actually vows.  They should be promises that you are making to each other, and that you fully intend to keep. Most people's vows end up sounding more like all of the reasons they love each other.  This is great, but it's not a set of promises.  <strong>If people want to do this, I think they should "declare their love" before the actual vow (promise) part.</strong>    The traditional vows (to have and to hold, in richer or poorer, sickness and health, etc) are a good place to start.  Think about what those words mean to you, and why they are so popular as vows.  Now think about your relationship with your fiance, and think about what you want to promise him.   And please....don't try to be too cute or funny.  A little personalized humor is okay (again, more appropriate for the "declaration of love" part than the actual promises).  Nothing makes me cringe more than "vows" that are disparaging (like promiseing to love him after he goes bald -- I mean that's just kind of insulting), or are impossible to keep (like letting him have the remote control).   
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what we are opting to do rather then write our own vows.  I also really wanted the whole "I do" part, so I wasn't interested in writing my own vows.  Our officiant will say something like "turn to look into each other's eyes and say what is in your heart" and at that point we will each have a turn to say what we would like.  Then we will go into the traditional vows right after that.</div>