Friends Fighting over briadesmaid!!!

10clarissa

I have old "best frineds" and when we were close we always said that we would be each others briedsmaid or made of honor and I think my future sister in-laws want to be too...well I want my cousin to be my one and only. How do I let the rest all know without hurting their feelings?

nda_roxybabe

Just dont ask them

phoeny_moonstar

I agree with nda.

jeanna85

just ask your cousin and leave it at that. you dont need to announce to your friends that they didnt make the cut unless they ask. you said yourself that you're not close to them anymore, they probably dont even want to spend the money to be in your bridal party in that case anyway

aerinpegadrak

It's spelled "bridesmaid."  We have spellcheck now.

Ask who you want to ask.  Sitting down with the other girls and telling them why they didn't get asked is extremely cruel.  Just don't bring it up, and if they ask why (which is a blunder on their part), just tell them that you only wanted one bridesmaid.

You might reconsider the FSILs, though.  Snubbing siblings at weddings can lead to family feuds that last for decades.

Manda724

just ask your cousin... and if the others ask why you didn't ask them just say you only wanted one person on your side of the bp and that bc she is your cousin, she is family. they will understand. As for your fsil i would try to give her something to do in the wedding like a reading or something like that. (im doing that with my fsil, she will be holding part of the huppah.)

trix1223

First things first.  Your wedding is 2 years away.  Don't ask anyone for at least 14 months.You're going to thank me.  I promise.  Stroll on over to the WP board and read the bazillion posts from brides who asked a WP 2 years before their wedding and now want to know how to "fire" them because relationships have changed.

And.....where exactly is the fight here?  You ask who you want and only who you want to be in your WP.  If other people ask why they're not in it, they're being rude.  Having said that, I agree with aerin.  I'm of the "They're going to be your family forever", and should probably be asked.

So chill until at least February of 2011, and then ask who you want.  "Promises" made about being bridesmaids back when you were a pre-teen are 100% non-binding.

10clarissa

Thanks all!! The reason I am stressing over it is because some are bringing it up and asking...I just tell them I dont have things planned that far. My cousin does know I want her as mine though and its because we have been close since we were babies. The thing with sisters is my FI and I are both from big families so to include sisters it would be like 10 BM so thats why I dont want to include them on that part. I will include the sisters in other parts of the wedding. And I will wait a year or so before officially asking (good idea) Thanks for the advice!!!

tidetravel

Also - remember that FSIL can stand on your FI's side - he is HER brother, and thus, she would be there to support him.  If he wants her to be a part of the wedding, that is something to consider.