Stressesd Need to Vent

Midgetth

  So Our wedding is on a Sunday. We can't do rehersal on Saturday night because my MOH (my sister) has her FSIL wedding that night. My cousin last minute changed his wedding date to the day before ours. He lives 4 hours away & my dad, step mom & grandma plan to go & attend his. We were going to rehearse Friday night but there is a reception going on (we're having the ceremony at the same place as our reception). Now we were thinking of doing it Thursday night but then my one BM wont be there & she's having a fit that she'll be missing rehersal. Even though she's been in weddings before. I just don't know what to do??? Can't do it Friday morning because my MOH has school & my FI & one of his GM  work at the same place & they are the only ones who work there (it's their shop).

     Then to add to it my FI hasn't picked a Best Man yet. We are 3 months away! He is at a toss up for either the man he works with every day (who he's been friens with since he was 11) or his other buddy who he's been friends with since kindergarten. He keeps saying that he'll have them flip a coin to see who gets it cuz it's only fair. He's been saying that since 2 Aprils ago! I need to know who's best man so I can arrange it so he gets the color vest that matches my MOH's dress. I keep telling him to do it & he keeps saying "I will I will" I recommended to him for us to just flip the coin but he wants them present. The problem is that the two guys schedules clash.

I'm at lost. Sorry for venting but Thank You

Butterstick

Maybe you can do the rehearsal at the place of your rehearsal dinner?

trix1223

BMs don't have to be at the rehearsal.  It's a 20 second walk down the aisle.  Not exactly rocket science.  Choose the rehearal time that works for most of the key players and the venue.  If people can't make it, they can't make it.  It won't be the end of the world.  It would be more fun if they were there, but if they can't be, oh well.

DD & SIL had both a GM and a BM missing from their rehearsal.  They both managed to do perfectly on wedding day.

As for your groom choosing a Best Man?  You have 3 months.  He doesn't have to choose one yet if he doesn't want to.  The best man's "duties" are standing next to the groom during the ceremony, perhaps holding the rings, and perhaps giving a toast.   Your FI has plenty of time to designate a BM.

It's not your decision, so back off on it.  He can have No best man, one best man, or Co-best men.  Clearly he's hesitating for some reason.  But again, it's HIS decision.  The vests on the best man/men don't have to match the MOH's dress.  And they still have time to order tuxes.

Just relax.  This will all work out.

angiem33

Deep Breath!!  It's ok if you don't rehearse or if you have only a few people, on the day of, everyone can manage to get down the aisle!! Send everyone a timeline and order of their walking and it should be fine I have a Sunday wedding also, and the place isn't available for rehearsal due to an event on Saturday night.  

Why not have them both be BM?  I have 2 best men, it's very common to have uneven sides, and it takes pressure of of your FI.  As previous poster said the BM don't have to match the MOH, but if you want them to match, what about having them both wear the MOH's color?  

Midgetth

Thaks girls. We aren't having a rehersal dinner. We can't afford one. Plus the rehersal would have to be around 7:30 at night because thats when my FI is free. I tried telling my BM her & I could always go down to the place on Saturday & have them explain it to her if she doesn't understand something. I just don't get it because she's been in plenty of weddings before. And I don't think my FI wants two Best Men. That would be to easy for him lol. I wanted him to pick so I could let the tuxedo place know who is best man & that the best man has to have a different vest. I would like him to match my MOH. I want to give the guys plenty of time to be able to go up & get meausred and what not since they are both so busy. One is a manager of a grocery store & the other one runs the shop & practically lives there.

gottahavashorti

Best Man is not required, he can have all groomsmen.

Everyone does not have to be at the rehearsal and it does not have to be on site.  Choose the day and location that work best for your group, where at least you and your FI will be able to make it.  One BM was originally going to miss our rehearsal but made it and a GM did not attend the rehearsal.  We filled him in and I assume it went well based on the processional and ceremony pictures.

If they know how to walk in a straight line and stand quietly for the length of the ceremony (as long as they are physically able to do these things) it will be just fine.

SarahPLiz

Just don't have a rehearsal at all. Its not necessary. And it would be a bit rude to demand that your WP come to a rehearsal and not feed them. Just do without the rehearsal.

gottahavashorti

You do need to host something if you're having a rehearsal.  If you are unable to host burgers and hot dogs, pizza or homemade pasta, skip the rehearsal.

jedaniel

I agree with the pp if you are having any sort of rehearsal, you need to host some kind of dinner. Like they said PIzza, Pasta Salad, Hot Dogs, Speghetti, Tacos, those are all fairly cheap dinner ideas. And if your house is to small to host them all, I'm sure your parents wouldnt mind having yall over there.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stressesd-need-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:b5bdff5c-2ddd-4c26-ad20-2db1628013adPost:7f0ed021-a405-4642-beab-7b450c8e7b6a">Re: Stressesd Need to Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Thaks girls. We aren't having a rehersal dinner. We can't afford one. Plus the rehersal would have to be around 7:30 at night because thats when my FI is free. I tried telling my BM her & I could always go down to the place on Saturday & have them explain it to her if she doesn't understand something. I just don't get it because she's been in plenty of weddings before. And I don't think my FI wants two Best Men. That would be to easy for him lol. <strong>I wanted him to pick so I could let the tuxedo place know who is best man & that the best man has to have a different vest.</strong> I would like him to match my MOH. I want to give the guys plenty of time to be able to go up & get meausred and what not since they are both so busy. One is a manager of a grocery store & the other one runs the shop & practically lives there.
Posted by Midgetth[/QUOTE]

You do know that your marriage will still be valid even if the BM isn't wearing a different vest, right?

jenn.daniel

Could you have the rehearsal the morning of the wedding?

aerinpegadrak

If you can't afford a rehearsal dinner, then skip the rehearsal.  If you're having a rehearsal, you have to host something.  (We just did pizza the night before the wedding.)  It sounds like the rehearsal would be kind of a pain anyway, so you can probably skip it. 

quotequeen

You are making this way too complicated and creating stress where it doesn't need to be there.

Blueyed228

I am probably doing my rehearsal the Sunday before due to schedules.

Not everyone has to be there, I am sure someone can tell the missing person what to do the day of the wedding.  Its really just a line up.  People will figure it out.

SarahPLiz

AS for your FI and his wedding party, that's up to him to handle however he wants to. You don't need to worry about who he chooses or what vest they wear. Let him have this responsibility. Its not really your choice.

Srbageldog

You're cousin is getting married the day before you? Isn't that putting a lot of stress on the family, feeling obligated to be at 2 weddings over one weekend? Is there any way to postpone or reschedule the date of your wedding so it would be more convenient for everyone?