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Chit Chat

Non-stop planning

So, I was not the girl who used a sheet as a veil and had "weddings" with my Ken Dolls.  I did not dream about my wedding until my fiance entered my dreams.  And, I don't have a lot of girlfriends.  I am planning in a community that is new to me and our moms are 10 hours away.  So, I am on my own as I learn what a wedding is about and create our wedding.

Basically, there are a lot of phone calls and a lot of minute decisions and I like getting an opinion at times.  Our families are close and telling one person results in every guest knowing everything in an instant and I have heard that it is better not to include too many people because too many opinions can confuse things.  So, I tell/ask him.

I have a short break from grad school which gives me a nice block of time to get as much done as I can.  He is willing to help, but he is still a guy.  At times, I feel as though his eyes are glazed over and he wants me to be more than his wedding planner.  This is what I am doing for one more week, alone in a bedroom community, so it is the dimension I am in and I feel a little manic when we talk!

Just wondering if others ever feel like their husband-to-be might feel as though wedding planning is a little too consuming.

Happily, I should be a little more grounded by next week and my mind will be on school.

Re: Non-stop planning

  • My FI went through this when we were a couple months into planning (and still about 5-6 months out from the wedding), but he also didn't realize how many details there are to take care of, especially when you're not using a planner/coordinator.

    Now that we're only 2 months from our wedding and all the major details are set and a lot of minor ones are taken care of, he's very into planning and so excited to get married.  I'm sure he'll get over it.  When I explained how many decisions we had to make, he kind of started to get it and realized that we talked about the wedding so much because I wanted his input since it's OUR day, not my day. 

    He'll come around.  I would just back off a little bit when he starts getting glazed over.  :)

    GL!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
  • Thanks and congrats!  Mine is excited - more excited than I think sometimes.  He's got work and we both have our other lives, though, so he can't focus as much as I am right this moment.  He hasn't asked me to stop at all...just gets a little silent.  I suppose I just feel like a nuisance, but I am so lucky to have him co-planning with me.  I'm also really lucky to have other knotties because he and I have no clue how to run a wedding, but don't really need a coordinator for such a small, offbeat wedding.
  • My FI is excited to get married and from time to time he has opinions and wants, but at the beginning there were a lot fo hurt feelings because I would talk to him about every detail and he would just wander off or play video games. Then my feelings would be hurt and we'd get into an arguement.

    I think the thing is that you have to find out what he cares about and what he needs to actually help with. Like our cake stand. I can't take a chainsaw and cut the wood, so he has to be involved in that. We're getting old furniture from thrift stores and painting them to use for our smores table and placecard holder table... he liked that so he was more invloved. He's designing the invites so he's in that. He doesn't give a crap about the flowers so that's allllllll me. lol

    Just find the middle ground with him, and it'll work out okay. =)
  • We had the best time with our photographer today.  We planned engagement photos because he is so excited about them and talked about the entire process.  We also talked about ourselves as individuals and about us as a couple.

    Still, will be happy to have most of the planning done soon.  This is all so foreign to us!
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