A close friend's Uncle passed suddenly

Maggie0829

A close friend of mine unfortunately lost her Uncle in a car accident on Tuesday.  I really would love to send her something but I am stuck on what to send.  I know the typical thing would be flowers but I wanted to send something different.

Any thoughts or ideas would be great!

TIA

Marrin713

A heartfelt card would go a long way.  Other than that, I don't know.  Sorry to hear.

ashleyy00

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_a-close-friends-uncle-passed-suddenly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c1520c16-6298-4e8f-9999-a65d96dce8adPost:f479a28d-500b-4264-87e9-d5b4dfbbe1a0">Re: A close friend's Uncle passed suddenly</a>:
[QUOTE]I lost a close family member recently.  The last thing we wanted was to have to take care of flowers that were just going to die a week later.  Don't send flowers unless you plan to send them for the services.  I'd recommend bringing over some dinner (although they'll probably be receiving a a lot of food already), <strong>or if you're close enough offer to go clean her house for her, or give her rides if she needs them.</strong>  Those things would have been big stress relievers for me.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

Agree! It would mean a lot more than flowers.

s-aries8990

I've given an edible arrangement or a gc to a local grocery store that makes hot food and party platters. Always send a heartfelt card, but I've heard homemade food in disposable containers is appreciated- one less chore for the family to do.

Being that this is an uncle and not a parent (the only onexperiences I've had thus far) I'd just go with a card.

cwaggoner07

I think sometimes the point of sending food is so that it's one less thing that the family has to worry about between hosting people during the funeral and making all arrangements that come along with losing an immediate family member.
Since this is just her uncle she may not be bogged down with tasks and guests, but just more sadness. That being said, maybe just a card and a snack of some sort. In Dallas we have Tiffs Treats which is basically warm cookies delivered, and that's my go-to for things like that.

KSerafin17

I just lost my nephew 3 weeks ago and I can tell you that everyone and their mother will bring food over and while that is very considerate and nice of them, a hand written note goes a long, long way. Also, if she was close with her uncle, I would suggest a "Willow Tree" Ornament. They have one that represents "Guardian Angel". Maybe she would like that?

Sorry for her loss, especially around the holiday.I know it does not make things easier.

Maggie0829

Thanks for all of your suggestions.

Funny enough I used to work at a florist for over 8 years and have always thought that sending flowers to someone who just lost a loved one was weird because who really, in that grieving state, wants to watch them die?

I am definitely sending her a card but I do like the cookie idea.  She has a very large sweet tooth.  Maybe instead of sending her cookies, I will just bake off some of the cookie dough I have pre-made for my holiday cookies and take her a tin over this weekend.  I know today and tomorrow will be rough (viewing and funeral) so she may need a little sweet treat to help brighten her day a bit on Saturday.

Marrin713

Sounds like a good plan Maggie.

Avion22

I think a nice card and some home-made cookies would be wonderful.  If you knew the uncle, you might consider adding a nice memory you have of him.  

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_a-close-friends-uncle-passed-suddenly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c1520c16-6298-4e8f-9999-a65d96dce8adPost:dc012e37-6c67-4061-9086-3d2e1f24b9ec">Re: A close friend's Uncle passed suddenly</a>:
[QUOTE]I vote for a casserole that can be frozen. Having lost many loved ones.....we always had a surplus of sweets.  Cakes, pies, cookies, cobblers - tons of snacks, and not near enough "food." A casserole, fried chicken or potato salad would have been nice.  A casserole or dish that can be frozen for later is even better, because it will keep for the days and weeks later when they come home to an empty house and don't feel like cooking. I don't mean to lecture here, and you probably know this already,<strong> but.....PLEASE limit condolences to a simple, "i'm sorry."  People who try to "improve" on this usually end up doing anything but.  He's gone to a better place, God must have needed another angel, etc., can be very hurtful to the grieving person.</strong> Thanks for being such a caring friend!
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

This won't be a problem.  I am absolutely horrible in these situations so all I really am comfortable saying is "I'm sorry".  If I try to say anything more than that I usually regret it and want to slap myself.  Those things you listed just don't work.  I unfortunately have lost a good amount of loved ones and someone saying "They are in a better place" or "God called him up" is like a slap in the face.  Many times I have come close to saying "F you, I don't give a sh$t if God wanted them or not, I would much prefer them here with me, thank you very much!"  A bit much, I know, but that is usually how I feel.

J&K10910

Being close to the holidays, I would also offer to help if she needs assistance with any last minute shopping, wrapping, or decorating, if she's still planning on doing those things.