Ok, so I am about to lose it!

lovetorunyeah

My fiance has a brother whose girlfriend is a real biotch! I can't stand that chick.  Everything has to be drama for her and she is constantly prying for information about our wedding.  She talks a lot of crap to everyone and about everyone and I am about to lose it on her if I hear ONE MORE THING!  The part that really makes me mad is that my FMIL is insisting that I include her on everything we plan.  I have tried to ignore her (for a couple years now) but now that it is MY day, I am so sick of her sticking her nose into things and complaining/whining when she is not included in the planning.  I am seriously about to snap!

achiduck

Have you talked to your FI about how she makes you feel? If she's really causing that many problems then your FI should talk to his brother.

ChristineNB

Sorry, if someone that was like that does not get to be included in my wedding plans.  Wedding planning is supposed to be fun, and someone like that sounds like they would make it more of a head ache than it's worth.  I would talk to your fiance about how you feel, but I would stand your ground.

Olexa1979

I was in a similar situation a few years ago, FI's brother got married, and FI's brother's Future wife at the time, and I were NOT getting along AT ALL, and she didnt speak one detail to me, and one time she was talking with FI's Oldest brothers wife and showing her dress, in front of me, and FI's mom was like, why dont you show Melissa, and she gave a look like, yeah not a chance in hell...BUT what im getting at is, that you dont NEED to include her in a darn thing!!

Maggie0829

Honestly, I would just turn a deaf ear to her whenever she starts complaining or whining because she isn't involved in the planning.  She has no reason to be involved and you don't have to include her.  Just keep planning your wedding and when her name comes up in a conversation about wedding planning quickly change the subject.

Like PP said, I would let your FI know your feelings and that you don't appreciate your FMIL pushing her into your plans...this way if it does happen again, your FI will be able to back you up.

RailWayWife

Why not include her? She seems to be enthusiastic about the wedding in that she wants to be included? I know I personally would want to know what is going on with my FSIL wedding planning and be able to help out and be involved as much as possible. Thats what family is for right?? And you 2 are going to be family soon...

cryst84

Im to the point in my life where regardless of who it is I say what's on my mind. Tell her straight up this is how you make me feel. Of course I'd first tell my FI that if you dont handle this i will and if he chooses not to then take action. don't let some biotch make this time a frustating experience.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ok-so-i-am-about-to-lose-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c19fa603-a684-43d2-9d72-ae077690aa8dPost:7e17d606-7bca-43ee-bd00-f620bffdb240">Re: Ok, so I am about to lose it!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why not include her? She seems to be enthusiastic about the wedding in that she wants to be included? I know I personally would want to know what is going on with my FSIL wedding planning and be able to help out and be involved as much as possible. Thats what family is for right?? <strong>And you 2 are going to be family soon...
</strong>Posted by RailWayWife[/QUOTE]

No they won't.  This girl is only a girlfriend, not a fiance or wife.

She shouldn't include her in the planning if she doesn't like her.  I don't know about you, but I don't really include or ask opinions of people that I can't stand to be around.  If I don't like someone I am certainly not going to try my hardest to get them involved im my wedding planning process.

OP has every right to not include her if she doesn't want to.

lovetorunyeah

I can't stand her, my FI can't stand her.  She is a lying, manipulative B who has nothing positive to say about anybody.  She has to stick her nose into everybody's business. I overheard her saying, "Well if me and X get married, I would NEVER do what Beth is doing."

My FMIL is finally starting to see her for what she really is, but it really irks me that this stupid girlfriend gets invited for all kinds of things.  I have NEVER once invited her to do wedding stuff, it has always been my FMIL who invites her.  I have been putting up with her garbage for a long time and I am thisclose to going off on her and letting her have it, regardless of what my FI's brother says.  

Oh one more thing, I have put my foot down about having her in wedding pictures.  I said she could be in ONE family picture, that is it! The rest of the family pictures will only be my FI parents, brother, sister and her husband and kids.  I don't need a slutty skank ruining my pictures! FMIL thinks I am rude.  I say, I pay for the pictures, I choose who is in them! Thoughts?

PaoPao820

I think you're on track.  Don't let others influence your wedding in any negative way.  You want to do what you want to do and that's right for you.  If I had someone like that I would actually tell them to back off but I would do it at a time when everyone was there in a polite way.  This way everyone finally can feel like a weight has been lifted off but you were the one doing the lifting and the best part is that you can get away with it because it can be seen as stress related to the wedding haha. 

One of my BM's actually kept telling me "you still have so much time, why are you doing this stuff so early? you're going to have to wait, I didn't do these things till this time" and it was driving me insane.  Totally not the same situation but somewhat similar.  I finally just politely told her off and said that in all honesty I need to do things earlier because I have a lot going on in my life and I'm not one to wait till the last minute because it'll drive me insane.  It finally shut her up and she stopped saying stuff about me doing things early. 

There are points in life where you need to stand up for yoruself and possibly others around you.  If this is something a lot of people are feeling, maybe the brother is blinded by something and isn't seeing her for who she is and this could open his eyes up to things as well.  Just remember to be polite about it but firm and to the point.  Say what you want to say and say what you need to say but don't stoop to her level and be a bitch too, just kill it with kindness in the way you approach it. 

Good luck!  And just focus on how amazing the day will be for you!  If it helps... I plan to kick anyone out who wears white on my wedding day and there are two girls who are invited that tend to be the type to try to steal the spotlight who if they say anything remotely associated with big news on my wedding day, i will also kick them out lol.