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I'm getting really upset. I hope I'm not overreacting (kinda long, sorry)

My husband and I were really interested in the Sea Palms Resort on St. Simons Island in Georgia. We called a few weeks ago and made an appointment with the sales manager to tour the grounds, ask questions and meet the staff. Well, last Friday was our appointment. We showed up and the receptionist looked a little confused. He asked for our names a few times and made a phone call. A woman came up front and I could hear her telling him that she was never told anything about us and that the sales manager wasn't even there. Shortly after that she came up to us and said that the sales manager had a family emergency and wouldn't be able to show us around but she would instead. This was fine but it really got me thinking. I understand things happen, but I find it rather unprofessional that NOBODY at that resort even bothered to call us and let us know. Having someone else show us around wasn't the problem, it was the fact that NOBODY even knew about our appointment. Not to mention, the other sales woman looked and talked like she was seriously messed up on something. If you've ever seen anyone who takes pain pills or something like that you'd know what I'm talking about...

So after about 10 minutes she got all of her things together and showed us around. She offered us a lot of special rates and answered our questions to the best of her ability. We didn't meet with any of the staff and it seemed like she didn't have answers to the most important questions we had. She said that she would look into all of it and get back to me. When we went back to her office she asked us a few more questions, said she would get answers to our other questions and send me the proposal and contract. She asked us to pick a tentative date and asked when we would be puting down our deposit. I told her that once I received the proposal (and it included all of our unanswered questions) and it reflected everything we were told during our tour then we would be puting down our deposit by the end of this month. My husband and I really did fall in love with this place so we let our other frustrations slide a bit. Well, until now.

Throughout our meeting we stressed the importance of the date and having the location secure. I'm not originally from Georgia. All of my bridesmaids, family and friends are AT LEAST 1,000 miles away. Money is tight these days so we said that April of 2013 would be best so everyone had ample time to make proper arrangements. 

I understand that this is a busy time of year and puting all of our information together can be time consuming. However, I haven't received a single email or phone call from anyone at the resort. No followup, no "thank you for considering us," no information on the status or even if our proposal has been started, nothing. I sent an email to the sales manager 2 days ago explaining all of this and the importance of having the date and location secured. I'm giving everyone a little over 12 months to save their money to get themselves (and their children) on a plane, rent a room, rent a car, etc. I've yet to hear back from her.

Maybe I'm overreacting but I really don't think I am. It isn't that difficult to send someone and email or make a quick phone call. I would feel much more at ease if I at least got an email or call telling me that it's been crazy busy but she has all of our information and will have our proposal done by the end of next week. I really feel like we're being blown off and left in the dark just like when we first walked into the place. We'd be giving them a good chunk of money and puting one of the most important days of our lives in their hands. We're seriously considering going elsewhere. Sorry for soundling like a pain but this lack of communication is really stressing me out. 

Re: I'm getting really upset. I hope I'm not overreacting (kinda long, sorry)

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-getting-really-upset-i-hope-im-not-overreacting-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:cc9be8d9-ebae-4625-ba84-3f2ece4a2b49Post:5eaaaf3e-d819-43aa-8c52-9c72293d9650">I'm getting really upset. I hope I'm not overreacting (kinda long, sorry)</a>:
    [QUOTE]My husband and I were really interested in the Sea Palms Resort on St. Simons Island in Georgia. We called a few weeks ago and made an appointment with the sales manager to tour the grounds, ask questions and meet the staff. Well, last Friday was our appointment. We showed up and the receptionist looked a little confused. He asked for our names a few times and made a phone call. A woman came up front and I could hear her telling him that she was never told anything about us and that the sales manager wasn't even there. Shortly after that she came up to us and said that the sales manager had a family emergency and wouldn't be able to show us around but she would instead. This was fine but it really got me thinking. I understand things happen, but I find it rather unprofessional that NOBODY at that resort even bothered to call us and let us know. Having someone else show us around wasn't the problem, it was the fact that NOBODY even knew about our appointment. Not to mention, the other sales woman looked and talked like she was seriously messed up on something. If you've ever seen anyone who takes pain pills or something like that you'd know what I'm talking about... So after about 10 minutes she got all of her things together and showed us around. She offered us a lot of special rates and answered our questions to the best of her ability. We didn't meet with any of the staff and it seemed like she didn't have answers to the most important questions we had. She said that she would look into all of it and get back to me. When we went back to her office she asked us a few more questions, said she would get answers to our other questions and send me the proposal and contract. She asked us to pick a tentative date and asked when we would be puting down our deposit. I told her that once I received the proposal (and it included all of our unanswered questions) and it reflected everything we were told during our tour then we would be puting down our deposit by the end of this month. My husband and I really did fall in love with this place so we let our other frustrations slide a bit. Well, until now. Throughout our meeting we stressed the importance of the date and having the location secure. I'm not originally from Georgia. All of my bridesmaids, family and friends are AT LEAST 1,000 miles away. Money is tight these days so we said that April of 2013 would be best so everyone had ample time to make proper arrangements.  I understand that this is a busy time of year and puting all of our information together can be time consuming. However, I haven't received a single email or phone call from anyone at the resort. No followup, no "thank you for considering us," no information on the status or even if our proposal has been started, nothing. I sent an email to the sales manager 2 days ago explaining all of this and the importance of having the date and location secured. I'm giving everyone a little over 12 months to save their money to get themselves (and their children) on a plane, rent a room, rent a car, etc. I've yet to hear back from her. Maybe I'm overreacting but I really don't think I am. It isn't that difficult to send someone and email or make a quick phone call. I would feel much more at ease if I at least got an email or call telling me that it's been crazy busy but she has all of our information and will have our proposal done by the end of next week. I really feel like we're being blown off and left in the dark just like when we first walked into the place. We'd be giving them a good chunk of money and puting one of the most important days of our lives in their hands. We're seriously considering going elsewhere. Sorry for soundling like a pain but this lack of communication is really stressing me out. 
    Posted by nholvick[/QUOTE]

    Perhaps she's still trying to get the answers to your questions and give you the complete quote / contract that you requested.

    Or perhaps the original lady is working on things for you and it's taking slightly longer than expected. Have you tried calling them, or just emailing? If you haven't called yet, I'd suggest trying that route.

    If you don't feel comfortable, simply start looking for another location. I understand you want the most time allowable for your guests, but sometimes things don't always work out as expected.

    Also, you kept saying 'husband'. Are you planning a vow renewal?
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  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-getting-really-upset-i-hope-im-not-overreacting-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:cc9be8d9-ebae-4625-ba84-3f2ece4a2b49Post:c0f93748-e6be-426b-a09a-cf6e79fe1b05">Re: I'm getting really upset. I hope I'm not overreacting (kinda long, sorry)</a>:
    [QUOTE]IMy husband and I had a quick civil ceremony at the courthouse, so this is our "for real" wedding.
    Posted by nholvick[/QUOTE]

    Do you realize how terribly insulting that statement is for those who went the JOP route? Going to a court house is just as real of a wedding as having a big fancy wedding. Why? Because at the end of the day, you're married to the person you wish to marry.

    The day you signed your marriage certificate was your wedding day. You're married. Congrats.

    What you're planning now is a vow renewal.
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  • That venue sounds like a pain in the neck, I would start looking at other places.

    However, I agree with PP's that you should call it a vow renewal, and don't down on Civil Ceremonies, lots of wonderful marriages start that way.  The only way you can call something like that anything other than a 'real' wedding is if there was some kind of problem at the Civil Ceremony that lead to it not being a valid marriage. 

    I know there have been some great threads about vow renewal etiquette, if it helps. 
  • have you posted on the Georgia page????? Maybe someone could give insite.  Im from Georgia and have never heard anything negative about this venue....its supposed to be pretty high end......so makes me wonder whats happening.  Sorry for all your troubles.
  • It wasn't meant to be insulting at all. Everyone chooses to do their own thing in their own way and this is what we've chosen. Our situation may not be the same as everyone else who went the JOP route. I simply stated that this is OUR "for real" wedding and never said that anyone else who went that route DIDN'T have a "for real" wedding. We have reasons why we consider this our "real wedding" and if that was the issue I would have made that the topic of this post. I'm simply asking for some advice from those who may have also experienced this problem with a particular place and/or what their thoughts are on this. I never meant to upset anyone or give anyone the idea that if they went the JOP route they didn't have an actual wedding.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-getting-really-upset-i-hope-im-not-overreacting-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:cc9be8d9-ebae-4625-ba84-3f2ece4a2b49Post:53adacb5-a378-40fd-a43f-5cf09cf22fe2">Re: I'm getting really upset. I hope I'm not overreacting (kinda long, sorry)</a>:
    [QUOTE]It wasn't meant to be insulting at all. Everyone chooses to do their own thing in their own way and this is what we've chosen. Our situation may not be the same as everyone else who went the JOP route. I simply stated that this is OUR "for real" wedding and never said that anyone else who went that route DIDN'T have a "for real" wedding. We have reasons why we consider this our "real wedding" and if that was the issue I would have made that the topic of this post. I'm simply asking for some advice from those who may have also experienced this problem with a particular place and/or what their thoughts are on this. I never meant to upset anyone or give anyone the idea that if they went the JOP route they didn't have an actual wedding.
    Posted by nholvick[/QUOTE]

    I don't think you're over reacting, it's frustrating to ask questions and feel ignored, and I think you should consider other venues.  If this venue doesn't provide the level of responsiveness you need, I think you're setting yourself up for a lot of future frustration. Maybe since it sounds like there was a situation there, ask to go for another tour when the manager is there.  Then you can make a better judgement. 

    We know you don't mean to offend anyone, but if you're already married, the for real wedding happened already. 
  • I'm going to go against the grain here, and say I don't think it's indicative of a major problem that the person you talked to didn' tknow you were coming.  If there was truly a family emergency, I highly doubt the person was thinking about letting people know about appointments that might have come in, and I can't say that I blame him or her. 

    As far as the email, it was two days ago.  That was a Thursday.  I'm assuming that Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays are an incredibly busy time for them, and emails are really easy to forget about if you don't respond right away.  I do it all the time.  I'd say a phone call is better, and I'd wait until Monday.  If you call today, you'll just get more pissed that there isn't anyone to talk to you becaue they're majorly busy.

    I'd say if you can't get your questions answered or don't get acceptable service at the beginning of next week, then move on.  Or if you're truly uncomfortable, then just move on.  But I think there is quite possibly a completely reasonable explanation, and yes, I do think you're overreacting a bit at this point.

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    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Thank you to everyone who responded in regards to my post. Your insight and advice is greatly appreciated.
  • I don't think you're overreacting. I had this happen to me for a different event with a bakery. I had scheduled a tasting, and when I got there, there was no one there. The store was completely closed down. I waited around for 30 minutes, and no one ever showed up. I sent a nasty e-mail telling them how unprofessional they were, and they responded and said that the owner and exec chef had her mother in the hospital. But, as I told them, and as you told your venue, it was very unprofessional not to at least give me a phone call so that we could reschedule, or at the very least so I wouldn't stand outside an empty building.

    Give them a phone call, maybe. See what they have to say about it. If you're really in love wiith this venue, then be persistent until you get some answers.
  • Sometimes the sales manager isn't there on the weekend,  This is usually a 9-5 Monday-Fridat type job, I wouldn't start freaking out about it just yet.  I would wait until Monday and give them a call and be super nice and just ask if they were able to get and of the questions answered as you are very eager to set the date so you can inform everyone and start making appropriate arrangements.

    I hate to sy this but its true, your ceremony is over a year out and so if they are super busy or whatver the case may be they will look at your item as low on the list of things to do since it is so far out.  Just give them a call and be super nice about it, you don't want to start off on the wrong foot.

    Its a shame the sales manager wasn't there because you would have left happier and had most if not all your questions answered I am sure.

    I would also consider calling it a vow renewal ceremony.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker "A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime"
  • I found out that the other sales person is also another sales manager. Like I said before, I understand that things happen and it's very unfortunate. But they should be communicating with each other, having meetings, etc. They should also have designated individuals to handle everything in the case an unexpected problem arises. Also, since she is a sales manager and deals with this on several occasions, she should have been able to answer all of my questions. I realize it does seem a bit far off but we are puting down a deposit just like everyone else has to and giving them a lot of money so our guests can stay there and have a good time.
  • Since you've already had an issue with them, I would be sure that the contract is very specific for when you can pull the plug and get your deposit back if need be.
  • Lord...It's a VOW RENEWAL.  Plain and simple  Whatever your reasons are.  My exH and I did the JOP thing (I was preg and needed his health insurance), then had our "for real" wedding 3 months later.  Seriously, I felt like I was scamming everyone simply for the show of a big white wedding.  But that's just this brides opinon.  Not a judgement...opinion.

    As far as your post, you are not over reacting one single tiny bit.  I'd be calling this place every single day (maybe even twice) trying to get some answers.  I might even consider asking to speek directly to the convention center manager.  If you really want your vow renewal at this location, keep after them and let them know how disappointed you are in their customer service.
  • You're not overreacting at all... this wedding business is all about customer service, and you're not getting the adequate level of service! I'd walk away because this could be indicative of what's to come.  It seems in your gut that you know this. Are there any other comparable venues. You have plenty of time to go with another.

    And call it what you want!! It's YOUR big day :) 
  • Thank you mejai1! The previous posters ARE NOT IN FACT CORRECT. Did I say that we didn't tell anyone? NO. It DOES matter what my reasons are and those reasons are none of anyone else's business. I don't have to sit here and explain my situation to anyone. Nobody here knows my family or friends, so to say that they will think or feel a certain way is rather ridiculous. Rather than ridicule someone and tell them what they're doing is right or wrong, why not just answer the question that is being asked? Why even waste the time commenting on something that is completely irrelevant to the question? Funny how I'm being told that I don't have the right to direct people how to respond. LOL! Well, nobody here has the right to ridicule me or make assumptions!
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