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Un-Guest Question

My fiance's brother has a girlfriend that NOBODY likes (except for his brother of course).  The brother is a groomsman in the wedding too.  I do NOT want the girlfriend there because she is RUDE!  How should I handle this situation?  Tell my future mom-in-law to handle it?  Have the fiance talk to his brother (he won't because it's his brother and how can he do that)?  Talk to the brother myself?  Just not send and invitation, but she may "assume" she is invited if I do that.  I really don't want to spend alot of money on a meal for someone I don't like.  Help!!

Re: Un-Guest Question

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    If they are in a committed relationship you have to invite her.  Sorry.
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    If the relationship is serious, the girl is either family or going to be.  Suck it up.  You don't get to choose a person's date.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_un-guest-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d2714ec7-9063-4d21-95d0-08c4e57e700aPost:42adeb9d-dc73-45af-9ebc-47a047b24ea8">Un-Guest Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance's brother has a girlfriend that NOBODY likes (except for his brother of course).  The brother is a groomsman in the wedding too.  I do NOT want the girlfriend there because she is RUDE!  How should I handle this situation?  Tell my future mom-in-law to handle it?  Have the fiance talk to his brother (he won't because it's his brother and how can he do that)?  Talk to the brother myself?  Just not send and invitation, but she may "assume" she is invited if I do that.  I really don't want to spend alot of money on a meal for someone I don't like.  Help!!
    Posted by aee13[/QUOTE]


    You can't dictate who someone brings as a date. When you extend a +1, as you should with a WP member, they get to bring whoever they want. Sorry.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_un-guest-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:d2714ec7-9063-4d21-95d0-08c4e57e700aPost:bd9870e2-90be-4fd3-99cf-37d5cabe3ea9">Re: Un-Guest Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Un-Guest Question : You can't dictate who someone brings as a date. When you extend a +1, as you should with a WP member, they get to bring whoever they want. Sorry.
    Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]


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    Yeah, i don't see a way out of this one, unfortunately. Just be as nice to her as possible, or try to avoid her before and during the wedding.

    It would just start a HUGE problem if you didn't invite her... you'd be more likely to hurt your big day by NOT inviting her.
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    Are you screening all of your guest's dates?  You don't get to dictate WHO someone brings when you extend an invitation to "person + guest".

    And if the relationship between your FBIL and his gf is long term, you do have to extend the invitation.

    I promise you that beyond a quick "Thank you for coming" you don't have to interact with her at all.  At. All.  YOu'll be so busy that you won't even notice her.

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    tidetraveltidetravel member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_un-guest-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:d2714ec7-9063-4d21-95d0-08c4e57e700aPost:42adeb9d-dc73-45af-9ebc-47a047b24ea8">Un-Guest Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance's brother has a girlfriend that NOBODY likes (except for his brother of course).  The brother is a groomsman in the wedding too.  I do NOT want the girlfriend there because she is RUDE!  How should I handle this situation?  Tell my future mom-in-law to handle it?  Have the fiance talk to his brother (he won't because it's his brother and how can he do that)?  Talk to the brother myself?  Just not send and invitation, but she may "assume" she is invited if I do that.<strong>  I really don't want to spend alot of money on a meal for someone I don't like</strong>.  Help!!
    Posted by aee13[/QUOTE]
    Yeah, I see your point.  I wouldn't invite her either.  She'd probably eat as much as two people combined (since she's such a bitch, I can only assume the reason that FBIL is still with her is because she gives really great blowjobs, which would lead me to believe she's probably got a REALLY big mouth).
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    My sis-in-law had a similar delima when she married my brother. She had an uncle who nobody could stand, who was rude and liked to start arguments over religion and politics. Well, instead of not inviting him, her family set conditions. He could come to the wedding ONLY if he did not bring up religion or politics, or start any arguments. He decided not to attend. Of course, this severed the relationship  between him and the rest of the family. Unless you're prepared for burning a bridge between your FI's brother and yourself, I would not recommend excluding his girlfriend. Just try to ignore her as much as you can. :/
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    She has to be invited.  You probably won't see her that much because you will be too busy. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_un-guest-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:d2714ec7-9063-4d21-95d0-08c4e57e700aPost:a7e4959a-693e-42f2-a39a-b159cb795aed">Re: Un-Guest Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]My sis-in-law had a similar delima when she married my brother. She had an uncle who nobody could stand, who was rude and liked to start arguments over religion and politics. Well, instead of not inviting him, her family set conditions. He could come to the wedding ONLY if he did not bring up religion or politics, or start any arguments. He decided not to attend. Of course, this severed the relationship  between him and the rest of the family. Unless you're prepared for burning a bridge between your FI's brother and yourself, I would not recommend excluding his girlfriend. Just try to ignore her as much as you can. :/
    Posted by Srbageldog[/QUOTE]

    I don't think I would go somewhere I was invited on conditions either.  That sounds super shiity.  He is an adult and telling him what he can and can't talk about is stupid.  What if he had agreed and then talked about it anyway?  Were they going to have a bouncer there to escort him out?
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    This particular uncle is sort of "crazy" and socially retarded. (He's been in and out of mental institutions in the past). The conditions were set to prevent him from dominating and ruining my sis-in-law and brothers big day.


    I forgot to mention that the wedding was held in the rec hall in the community where my sis-in-law's grandma lives. The condition was if he wanted to discuss those topics, he could go back to her place and discuss them there. They are super-nice people and were trying to be kind about it. He had ruined Christmas for their family (he started a huge fight by offending a bunch of relatives) and they didn't want him to do the same thing at the wedding. I really can't blame them. It was either that or not invite him at all, which either way was going to anger him. You would really have to know this individual to understand why they had to set conditions for him to attend the wedding. Just like I'm planning on setting conditions for my family to attend my wedding (they must not start drama- they do not get along with my FI and if they are going to start anything we don't want them there.) Sometimes you do have to draw a line, it depends on the individual and their history of disruptive behavior. Just my opinion anyway.
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    Maybe if you knew how  to read you would be able to make sense out of it.
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    sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited July 2010
    I think she is  saying that they didn't want the uncle to make a scene in front of everyone because the grandmother lives in the nieghborhood.  But I am not sure.
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    The grandmother lived in the "community" they had their wedding in. The condition for the uncle was shut the f*vk up or go to grandma's place (a few houses away) to discuss his shi*t. He chose not to attend. It's that simple.
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    And i don't appreciate being told that my sis-in-law's family was "stupid" because thejy made the difficult decision as to whether inviite this socially retarded, crazy uncle or not. So f*ck you.
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