Sorry for the long vent but I wanted to get your input on a family situation that has been going on since me and FI got engaged or I should say since me and my sister were kids. Before I go into the story I’m going to backtrack and fill you guys in on some info. So me and my sister are 7 years apartment which is a big age difference when growing up.(I’m 25 and she’s 19) We were never really close up until the past few years when she started getting older and we were able to talk about common things. As a child going into her teenage/adult years, there was always some type of friction between me and her. It felt more like a sister rivalry if you ask me. She always hated how family members would complement me on things and it got to a point where I can’t even ask her a simply questions without her getting nasty/rude. I’ve spoken to her several times about it since she really upsets me but she doesn’t seem to care and the conversation ends up with a fight. So any, backtracking again. Before my sister was born, my parents were very well off financially so I got a lot of things growing up. A few months after my sister was born, my father lost his job and we struggled for a very long time. It was a horrible situation that I don’t wish on anyone. Because of that, my sister got the hammy downs from me but my parents always managed somehow to get her stuff she wanted. When it came to her sweet 16, my parents were struggling still but told her and offered to have a party for her like how they had one for me. My sister insisted no and just had a party bus with a few friends for a few hours. After having this she then complained how my parents didn’t throw her a party like how they did for me. Sorry I went into my whole life on this, just wanted your girls to get a better idea of what is in her head first before I go into what happened. So bottom line is that she has a lot of resentment towards me.
Moving forward to me and FI engagement. When me and FI got engaged, she seemed happy and excited and of course she is my sister and I want nothing more than to have her as my MOH. I asked her and she said yes and then went on to say I hate weddings and all of this other nonsense. So I ignored it. As time passed I was getting stuff booked looking into different things for the wedding and my parents were involved too. I’ll be honest I mention wedding stuff A LOT but I honestly can’t help myself because I’m excited and happy and I think a lot of girls are like that when they are planning their wedding. My parents now are still struggling but they are in a much better place now financially and they offered to throw us an engagement party. I told them I didn’t want them to because I didn’t want them to put themselves in a hole and also the fact that my parents are the type to throw it in your face and say “Well we threw you an engagement party” blah blah blah. They insisted so I gave in and said fine. My sister found out and got pissed off. I spoke to my sister about it and she feels that she got gypped out of parties and gifts and that she didn’t think it was right my parents do everything for me and not her. I told her that if she felt that way she needed to talk to my parents because it’s their doing not mine. During this conversation we were able to have a good heart to heart and in a way I can really understand where she’s coming from but she should not be taking it out on me. It has got to the point that I can’t even mention the wedding without her yelling at me and making nasty remarks. She has even made comments about not wanting to be in the BP.
A few weeks ago we got into a very big fight over something so stupid. Pretty much I needed her to leave the house 10 minutes early to take me to my friend’s house so I can get a ride with her to go to work since my car was getting fixed. She did not want to do it and the fact that the car she drives isn’t even hers it’s my parents. The argument ended up into a screaming match and me throwing something at her because I was in a rage. Before the argument escalated, my sister told me she wanted no part of the wedding and said she wanted out of the BP which is a very hurtful thing to say to your own sister. I very aggravated and annoyed on how my parents didn’t even do anything about it and the fact that she hid my parent’s car keys and paperwork for the car and refused to give them to my parents was just ridiculous! Since we got into the fight, I have been staying away from them all since I don’t want to deal with my sister and I feel my parents didn’t handle the situation like a parent would. They act like they are scared of my sister. She throws temper tantrums and causes havoc when she doesn’t get her way. And my parents give in because they don’t want to deal with it. She has always gotten what she wanted by throwing fits and it’s disgusting! Since my parents are scared to deal with my sister, they won’t talk to me now either if my sister is around because they think they are disrespecting my sister by talking to me! I pretty much get the silent treatment. I’ve tried to talk with them but I get one word answers.
I know this is long and I know you girls probably want to pull your hair out of your head right now but I just don’t know what to do anymore. My FI told me I should confront them which I know I should but at the same time they are people you cannot talk to. All they do is yell and get nasty and that is going to get me aggravated and get me screaming and I don’t want that. I’ve considered writing them a letter as well but I feel face to face is better. In regards to the MOH issue, I told her that I didn’t want her paying for anything. The only thing she needed to do is be there for me so money shouldn’t be an issue for her.