A few days ago me and the fiancee (Man.. that sounds so weird... I still call him boyfriend even though his ring has been on my finger since xmas 2010 heh.) began to plan our wedding - we had sat down a few times and planned it using the tools on the knot, setting up our guest list and getting ideas... but for the first time we began meeting with vendors last week.
Now it seems almost like a whirlwind of scampering about here and there; rushing to multiple apointments in a single day... Lil bit nerve racking... but also now for really the first time; we're vissualizing it and it's clicking that it's going to happen.. which is a strange feeling!! lol.
Our first step is to find a venue we like; and just book whatever date we can find in 2012. It'll be a spring to fall wedding; as i'm sure those of you here on the cleveland boards know our winters are pretty severe and while snow can be beautiful; it's not the most fun for our guests to have to travel in - especially those from out of state. We're shooting for end of may, begining of september in 2012; being flexible as to vendors' and venues' availability.
One thing I have noticed is (ok well a few things)
1.) Venues are pretty inflexible with your work schedule. I know they might be having events and stuff; so i expect that making an appointment may take several weeks sometimes... But some are just down right unaccommadating. We have an appointment day after tomorrow to see meadow ridge farms; and the only reason we were able to do that is because we are on break from school. (We are not children by the way; I just turned 30 and both me and the fiancee are going to school for our MBA.) We both work monday-friday 8am-5pm (if we're LUCKY... we are both salary based; so being told we have to stay late for various projects or on call is not uncommon) and fiancee does not get home til after 6pm due to his commute. I am just wondering - is this common? Did those of you who are married or soon to be married have to take off work? How did you manage to tour venues who held strange hours? For example; based on photos I have seen; I would love to consider the Stan Hywet Hall & Gardens but it says on their website that they only offer appointments monday through friday from 10am til 3pm. And it kinda leaves a foul taste in my mouth; because if they're this inflexible now; just wait til they have a customers' money - I know the people who own and operate these "higher end" venues see alot of clients and are busy folks and the weekends are "big" for weddings and they may not be able to do tours right away... but you'd think they could work something out instead of being so rigid. Worst of all after suggesting 2-3 dates to some venue (I can't even remember which one as I've been in correspondence with about 8 of them in the last 10 days); they kinda just got annoyed/gave up/decided they didnt want to meet up. Told me "i'm out of town that weekend" to like 3 different dates spread across 2 different months. and then in the last email told me "If your schedule opens up through the week i'd be happy to accomadate you." Uhm yeah... no... that's not how this works :P I have this thing called a job (which will pay for this "higher end" wedding)... and you have a job which is supposed to be to cater weddings... the very definition of cater... is quite the opposite of what you're suggesting... I also got a chuckle out of how she said "if XYZ, then i'd be more than happy to accomadate you" How exactly is that accomadating me at all? lol. It's pretty much telling me; "my way or the highway."
2.) Which brings me to my 2nd point - it wouldn't be so bad; except in Stan Hywet's case; their website will not work (at least not in firefox.) I have tried the email link on the bottom of the page info@stanhywet or whatever it was; as well as the form under "contact us" and also the form under the rental inquiry page. All 3 methods produced errors. the email bounced back telling me that the other domain (stan hywet's domain) did not accept emails from my domain (gmail). The two forms on the page say first name, last name, email, phone number, and message must be filled out completely. They are; and to be safe; I went back and filled out every single other form too and nothing. I know I can call... but I SO GREATLY prefer email. It is the most respectful of not just MY time; but the facility director's time as well. I have quicker access to email; and I can more easily compare my schedule and other things since i have my phone free to look at my calander.
3.) Venues that ignore my wishes/requests/try to "hard sale" is my 3rd annoyance. As I said; I really prefer email. Any business these days should realize how important email is to a professional world. Once again I know these people plan hundreds of weddings every year - but it'd be nice if they could hire some secretaries or interns to monitor their email or sync their email to their smart phones. I had one venue email me back the other day saying "sorry for the late response; I only check my email once a week. If you'd like to call me we can arrange a consultation." Once a week??? Really?????? Another venue decided to call my cellphone all weekend; about 4-5 times... I emailed them again after receiving the first phone call. Also somehow they got my work email - i am not really sure how IN HONESTY I COULD HAVE MADE A MISTAKE (fully aknowledging that fact) and given the wrong email address; I've been setting so many appointments that its totally possible. The venue is beautiful though and one of my favorites; so I took time on my lunch break to return their call today and managed to set up a weekend tour after a bit of pushing (she wanted to do friday at 6 at first and I told her I couldnt do anything prior to 7 or 7:30 through the week.). I'm not really "angry" or saying this person is doing anything wrong - it's her job to follow up and call back leads she gets - I know it's a "sales" game and it's what she is being paid to do. It's just that the phone calls felt a bit excessive since there were 2-3 calls per day; and I had stated in my first email that email was the best way to reach me.
Are these things common? red flags? normal? "just the way it is"?
Good news is we've already seen a few; ruled a few out from consideration; and have one that we both really like that is (just barely) within our budget (we remembered to include the 20% service charge and tax etc, etc in the number crunching too. It's within budget; but with a few sacrifices like using an mp3 player or mixed CD instead of live deejay; and using one of the fiancee's friends as a photographer (he has a dlr camera and some experience (is actually trying to start his own lil business); but I really wish we could afford a nice professional photographer - especially one who has experience with whichever venue we choose and knows all the good spots for photographs and can tell us how to stand/pose to maximize the lighting and other pointers.
We have appointments pretty much all this month - and will be selecting a place; and setting a date; and putting the down payment down by the end of this month....
Then it's 6500 other appointments... cake tasting, food tastings, florists, dress shopping, party favors, dance lessons, etc... We have a WHOLE year; but i can already tell why people become bridezillas; especially when you are used to the customer always being right - and what day SHOULD a girl's wishes be respected more than any other - on her wedding of course - So when we receive questionable service or run into snags - its understandable to ruffle a few feathers.
I'm no where near bridezilla level yet - but I am a lil annoyed at how "crunched" I feel trying to rearrange my schedule for these vendors/venue directors... I just assumed I guess that they would cater to me - not the other way around.