How to include good friends without asking them to be bridesmaids

melilands

I am an over 40 bride who has been in more than my fair share of weddings and is very blessed with some amazing and wonderful good friends.  My conundrum?  I don't want them all in my bridal party...I was thinking that I might do something simple and just have a maid of honor with my sister being selected.  Does anyone have any ideas on how I can include another 4-5 girls who are truly some amazing and long time friends without having them be in the bridal party?  Oh, and I am thinking that readings are not enough...I also come from a large family who I'd like to try to include as well. 

Any ideas are welcome!!!  I have already talked to my friends and nobody would be hurt and still would want to help out...trust me, I think we are all at an age where nobody is hurt not to be asked to be a bridesmaid...the expense of the dress, the shower, etc. is just a lot to ask people (although i do feel badly about asking my sister to do this on her own...so this is more of a challenge too. I realize I have been in all of their weddings but that was years ago so I think people understand.  

I was at a lovely wedding last year where they had no official best man/maid of honor, but had all of their friends line the pathway to their ceremony site so they could all "give them away."  That was a second wedding in warm weather so it worked for them.  I am thinking a winter wedding in a church so that would likely not work. 

Any ideas are welcome. 

mbody

I don't really know of anything other than being a reader- and I know you said you don't think that is enough. And you probably don't need/want 5 different readings. Inviting people as guests is an honor, especially if none of them will have hurt feelings. Have you thought about having them as bridesmaids but skipping the matchy matchy dresses? That will make it a little more lax and casual. Maybe you can just let them wear whatever they would like and can still stand next to you while you say your vows. I think that is the best way to honor your closest friends. 

em01092

I second the idea of having them be your BMs, but not in typical matchy matchy dresses, or inviting them to get ready with you. Having one BM is totally fine. Whatever you do, don't ask your friends to do lame things like hand out programs or bubbles, or to be a guest book attendant. Those are jobs, not honors. 

It seems as though your heart is in the right place, but seriously, being a guest is an honor too. So many brides get caught up in trying to find roles for everyone that pretty soon you will have no guests because everyone has a special title. Either ask them to be BMs or readers, or they can be guests. 

melilands

Thanks, I agree with all of the above...I know they aren't hurt but I would like to find a way to include them even more in my special day beyond being a guest...they have all been such an integral part of my life for so long...one friend had a friend from each stage of their life carry a flower in before the ceremony and put it in a vase with the maid of honor carrying the last flower and that was the bridal bouquet...very simple and touching.  i liked the idea but was wondering if there are more out there...

Thanks, everyone for your input I truly appreciate it!

Hilraythebride

I am not really a fan of giving people little tasks and something to do to include them.  I really can't thnk of any other way other than a reader and someone to bring up the gifts.  

zacsmom3386

Have your really good friends line up at the reception ( sort of like at a miltary wedding) as you are anounced, you can walk between them