Help me be diplomatic!! :)

Kessagrl

We are only 13 days away now and I need to give our venue the final headcount next week. A lot of my mom's family members just aren't accustom to traditional weddings and proper wedding etiquette. I just heard today that one of my aunt's (who RSVPed yes for 3 people in her family) is not coming anymore. She didn't call me herself, I heard from my mom. We are spending over $90 a person at our venue and I really wish that people who aren't planning on coming would give us a courtesy call. Is it acceptable to call all of these people who may or may not show up (but have RSVPed yes) to find out if they are for sure coming before we write that final check?? If so, how do I say it without sounding like a jerk?? Thank you for your help!

Gabs71109

If they are your family and friends and you feel comfortable making the call I say go for it. BUT since your Mom is the one that heard I would ask her to make the call and get the answer for you. It's easier to place it in her hands especially if your parents are "hosting" the event. If you would rather not burden your Mom just be as casual/confident as possible, "We heard from Mom that you will be unable to make our big day. I am calling because we need to get a definite number to our venue."GL!

danto

I sent an e-mail to ALL my guests right before our final count was due.  I said something like "we're excited to share our special day with you. Let us know if you would like to change your meal choice. We understand that last minute things may have come up since you received your invitation - if your number of guests have changed; please let us know"If they don't use e-mail you can say something similar over the phone.  Anyone who says they'll TRY to attend is very likely a 'no' but doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you. Leave them off your count.If you don't need to ask everyone, you can call the guest (or have mom) and act like you are confirming everyone.

Kessagrl

Thank you ladies, that's helpful