White Tie vs. Black Tie

ohmrs2014

Not sure where I should post this, but I was just curious as to what the difference is between black tie and white tie.  And then my next question would be, what makes an event a black tie event?

Thanks ladies!

lyndausvi

White tie is the most formal you can get.    Think of states dinners with the president or the Queen.  

Black ties to me means:

full 1-1.5 hour cocktail hour with lots of stationary and passed canapes

Full premium open bar

multi-course sit-down dinner (maybe with wine pairings)

live music during both the cocktail hour and dinner (dj when the band is on break)

real china, sliver, glasses, linens, etc

top of the line decor (real flowers, lighting, etc).

The venue doesn't mean as much to me as long as the decor is done right.  I've been to black tie affairs at convention centers before.  They did the deco so well you never knew it.

StephBeanWed61502

Here's a link to dress codes:

http://www.emilypost.com/everyday-manners/your-personal-image/69-attire-guide-dress-codes

As for what makes a black tie event, some things I can think of off the top of my head (based on a couple of black tie fundraisers I've been to):

- Live band (NOT a DJ) and probably "classy" music (jazz, classical, music that goes with formal dancing like the waltz, foxtrot, etc.)

- minimum 4 course, plated dinner, with a server for each table

- open bar with top-shelf liquor

- high-end food (think lobster, filet mignon, etc.)

- evening party

- high-end favors 

I don't really know what the difference would be if it were upgraded to white tie, since I've never been to a white-tie event.

Also, I wouldn't inflict a "black tie" dress code on a crowd that's going to have no idea wtf you're talking about, so unless your friends and family are regulars on the benefit circuit or something, I'd stay away from making your wedding "black tie."  

MyNameIsNot

I used to think the Oscars are white tie and the Emmy's are black tie, but I don't really think that's true anymore.  

I don't think anyone who isn't royalty has white tie weddings anymore.  Either way, I agree with PP that black/white tie formality is about more than just guests' attire.  The whole event needs to be dripping in upscale and formal touches.  It's about the food, the decor, the music and the booze.  

ohmrs2014

Thanks ladies.  I'm totally not trying to make my event black tie, I probably should have made that clear, sorry!  I was actually really just curious because my FSIL was asking about what how formal we wanted the attire so that she can relay the message to their side of the family,

Some background:  FI's family has never been to a "traditional wedding."  Everyone has either eloped or went to the courthouse, so this is a very big deal to my FIL's.  They want their extended family to be appropriately dressed and not "make them look bad."   

I could care less what people wear as long as they have a good time and honestly, their attire won't reflect on me, my FI or his family, it will only reflect the person who wears the "questionable attire."  I told my FSIL that cocktail attire I would assume would be fine.

MyNameIsNot

It sounds like cocktail attire should convey what you are trying to explain to those that are asking.  If they ask you for more detail than that, you could say something like "well, I want you to be comfortable, but if it helps, my cousin said she'd be wearing a little black dress and her husband would be in a suit."