Just engaged WHERE to start???

satonen

Hi all, my boyfriend of 8 months proposed to me about 5 weeks ago and I couldnt be happier. We are planning to marry in the summer of 2011 but here's the kicker; although we live in NYC, we are both from Europe and plan to marry in Europe. I have never ever even thought about getting married until of course I met him. I am not a big wedding person, I am totally clueless about everything (other than what I have seen in my friends' or relative's weddings). We are having a small (on American terms!) wedding and I am not into picking favorites amongst my friends in terms of maid of honor. Is it really necessarily to have one? I really dont think I want one. Also, my fiance has been very involved in contacting churches/reception sites in Europe (we will marry in the country where he's from), but I feel lost as to what we should be doing first. We have started to think about the guestlist and color schemes. I am not sure that I would even know whether I am considering everything! (decorations, flowers etc). Where do I start???

psichick

first off..........breathe!!!!!!! lol and congrats

you don't need a MOH. you don't technically NEED anything!!!!! it's all about what you want.

if you're getting married in another country and aren't sure what you're doing, it might be a good idea to get a wedding coordinator. or you can find a venue that includes one with your wedding. they will help you with all the details. i'm going to assume that you aren't making regular trips to whatever country you're getting married in? if that's the case, then you really do need someone there doing the leg work for you. if you're there on a regular basis, you can do it. just plan lots of appointments when you're there.

first things first though, find a venue. you can do that online by searching for local venues to where you want to get married. or if you choose to use a coordinator that person can make recommendations based on what you want.

once that's set then everything else kind of falls into place and you can't really make too many decisions without knowing where you're getting married.

Mrs.B6302007

Congrats!

First thing, set a budget and stick with it. Then you can pick a venue or build your guest list keeping in mind that the size of one effects the other.  No, you don't have to have anyone stand with you but it's waaay too early to even discuss this with potential MOHs or BMs.  There are too many stories of excited brides asking someone then regretting it later. With it being a destination wedding, you might be able to ask at around the year out mark so your WP could have time to save up for the trip and such but if you don't want to mess with it, don't have anyone. 

mb2712

First of all, congrats!

What you need to do first is set a budget and a guest list so you know what you're working with, and how much you're working with.  After that, I suggest looking into venues for your ceremony and reception.  I would not ask anyone in your bridal party this far in advance.  I am getting married in June of 2011, and I have only asked my MOH because she's my sister.  Other than that, I haven't asked anyone because friendships change!

Good luck planning!

aerinpegadrak

Ditto the others:

1) Set a budget.  Figure out how much you can afford to save up between now and when you'd like to have the wedding.  If you need more money to work with, put the wedding off until you can save it up.  Don't ask anyone (like your parents) for money, if they're interested in helping they'll offer.

2) Make a preliminary guest list, including everyone you might possibly want to invite.  I found it helpful to break it up into who HAS to be there, who we want there, and who it would be nice to be able to invite.  That will give you an idea of what you're looking at.  Guest list is the single biggest factor in determining the cost of a wedding, so if you're on a tight budget, you'll have to get to trimming.  If you've already prioritized, you can start cutting from the bottom and work your way up.

3) Start scoping out venues for the ceremony and reception.  Don't even consider places that won't accommodate your budget and/or guest list.  Falling in love with a $10K venue that holds 50 people is very bad when your entire budget is $7K for 150.

4) Start getting inspired.  Look at people's bios, the galleries on the Knot, various wedding blogs, just poke around and see what grabs you.  You'll probably find yourself gravitating toward certain styles and colors, which will help narrow things down.

5) Set your date.  You can't really book any vendors or ask anyone you'd want in the wedding party until you have a firm date.  This will be determined by your budget and venue availability.

The Knot has a great checklist which tells you what you should be doing and when. 

nhelene

MAKE A WEDDING EMAIL ACCOUNT!!!

Don't give your normal email account to any vendors.  You'll see why when you look at your wedding email inbox in a few months.

HisCB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-engaged-start?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e71e5e80-704d-4979-93db-e917271956c2Post:92ee8f4c-4a63-4e5b-8c23-1753c1209d8e">Re: Just engaged WHERE to start???</a>:
[QUOTE]MAKE A WEDDING EMAIL ACCOUNT!!! Don't give your normal email account to any vendors.  You'll see why when you look at your wedding email inbox in a few months.
Posted by nhelene[/QUOTE]

good tip!

satonen

Thanks ladies for the tips! I am still pretty certain that I will not have a MOH. We have picked our date now, have the priest, the church and the location reserved. We also decided on colors Neither one of us wants this to be those grand, ballroom type affairs, but a bit more casual and laid back. Ofc it is too early start looking for a wedding gown yet, but giventhat I dont want to spend $3,000 on a dress for one day (heavens, I would rather take the excess $2,000 and go on a shopping spree!), I am getting a bit uneasy on the process after reading some really negative reviews of David'd Bridal and the like. The 1 year mark is still 3 months away but I am already stressing about finding a gown in my budget but also that looks great and I feel like a bride in!

aerinpegadrak

David's is a chain, so customer service varies from location to location.  As far as quality, some of their dresses are a bit cheaper, but the Oleg Cassini and Galina lines are usually quite well-made.