Stuck.. Much needed advice

JessicaBride2Bee

I want my soon to be sister in laws to be apart of my wedding.. I am close to both but I can't pick one to be my Maid of honor.. Should I just leave them both as bridesmaids and try picking someone else? Which will be just as hard being my standards are set high.. Help I don't know what to do..Lol

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stuck-much-needed-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ea2c646f-4b17-4ace-b41e-a303e1c55806Post:631b4d49-f9bd-412b-9afa-efb9a2dd4b64">Stuck.. Much needed advice</a>:
[QUOTE]I want my soon to be sister in laws to be apart of my wedding.. I am close to both but I can't pick one to be my Maid of honor.. Should I just leave them both as bridesmaids and try picking someone else? Which will be just as hard being my standards are set high.. Help I don't know what to do..Lol
Posted by JessicaBride2Bee[/QUOTE]



What do you mean your standards are too high? All your BP needs to do is buy their attire and be there for the ceremony. The rest, while traditional is a gift to you.

So ask who you'd like to be in your BP based on how you feel about these people. You can even have co-MsOH if you'd like.

pizzanfries4me

I personally would keep them both as bridesmaid to keep things even.

Also - as banana468  asked...what does your high standards mean?

bourgehm

It seems like she meant that she's so close to her SILs that she will have trouble putting someone 'above' them as a MOH (if she puts them both as bridesmaids).

I think you should have them as co-MOH's. That way they're both happy, and neither will be hurt.

ECI1151

You can definetly have two MOH. Heck I was in a wedding back in April and the bride had two MOH and a Matron of Honor.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stuck-much-needed-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ea2c646f-4b17-4ace-b41e-a303e1c55806Post:631b4d49-f9bd-412b-9afa-efb9a2dd4b64">Stuck.. Much needed advice</a>:
[QUOTE]I want my soon to be sister in laws to be apart of my wedding.. I am close to both but I can't pick one to be my Maid of honor.. Should I just leave them both as bridesmaids and try picking someone else? Which will be just as hard being my standards are set high.. Help I don't know what to do..Lol
Posted by JessicaBride2Bee[/QUOTE]


I would either have all of them be BM's or choose someone else to be your MOH.

As far as high standards, what exactly do you mean by that? A BM is not your slave, is all they are required to do is simply buy the dress and show up. Now, if they want to throw a bridal shower and/or a bach party, help you plan, decorate, etc, that is perfectly fine, but completely up to them. Nothing should be expected from them besides simply standing beside you on your wedding day. Period.

trix1223

OP, please come back and explain what you mean by your standards being set so high.  Inquiring minds REALLY want to know.

JessicaBride2Bee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stuck-much-needed-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ea2c646f-4b17-4ace-b41e-a303e1c55806Post:b06cc478-c7b7-4643-bfae-f44e10254d64">Re: Stuck.. Much needed advice</a>:
[QUOTE]It seems like she meant that she's so close to her SILs that she will have trouble putting someone 'above' them as a MOH (if she puts them both as bridesmaids). I think you should have them as co-MOH's. That way they're both happy, and neither will be hurt.
Posted by bourgehm[/QUOTE]

Exactly! Wasn't expecting to see what some of the others posted.. They are more of my family than my own.. which is why its making it more difficult and the reason why I am starting now.. MOH was supposed to be my cousin.. we were always close up until a few years ago.. she has went off the deep end got into some horrible things which is when "my standards are high" come into play.. She is not who I would ever consider to be a MOH at least not in my wedding..  I guess I should of went into a little more details to begin with.. Some understand where I am coming from..others don't which is perfectly fine.. But in my heart I believe that MOH is a huge role that should only be taken on by someone that has a good heart and that has always been there for me when ever I needed them..

mkrupar

Ditto Saisong. I read your question earlier, but didn't want to answer until you clarified what your "high standards were". Your MOH should be the person that you want to honor that is your nearest and dearest friend or family member.

People answered the way they did because they can only respond to what you posted. When we see someone come on here talking about standards we automatically assume you're asking them to throw you and OOT bach party, a shower for 60 people, come to every singly dress shopping/fitting trip, and tie 200 bows on favors. Since you didn't clarify people felt the need to say right away that the only thing your BMs are expected to do is buy the dress and show up to the wedding. If they want to do any of the above things I listed that's great, but don't expect them to.

Since you've clarified, I would either have both be MOH or just have everyone be a BM. Read each answer on these boards for what they are, advice. Some of them may be a little more blunt than you expect, but if you can get the message they're trying to impart you'll be fine.

orangecrush32

You don't need to have a MOH. Just leave it at BMs and it'll work out. No one will feel slighted. But like Retread said, don't pick them yet.

janelmcardell

That's what I decided to do because I can't choose. So i'm having my sister as maitron of honor and my 2 bf as moh