Our wedding plans

jkooba

My fiance and I are so anxious to get married.  We just bought the engagement ring and are ready to get married in 3 weeks, on April 6.  Our plan is to have a simple civil ceremony and then have a wedding in October.  Our original plan was to have a Vegas wedding in October.  I still want our Vegas wedding but also want to be married asap.  Am I nuts?

angelbaby725

Nope!  My mother went through a very long and drawn out divorce with her ex-husband.  He lived in another state and there were just to many issues to get into why it took so long but when it fianlly came through, her and my dad were so happy they called their Pastor and were married that night.  They had been waiting for so long and it made them happy to finally be able to do it!  They had a bigger, family wedding later on for everyone.  It's one of the biggest, happiest moments of your life.  It should be exactly what you both want because you're the one's who are going to be thinking back about your wedding for the rest of your lives.

t12ubeauty

No I think you are fine. I've seen similar scenarios before. When it comes down to it, if that plan is what you and your fiance want and that's what would make you both happy then go for it! Congrats!

emarston1

This is not a good idea.  You need to be a grown up and decide which is more important to you:  being married right away or having the wedding that you want.  You don't get both.  Part of being an adult is accepting delayed gratification for something you really want and living with the consequences of your decision.

Also, you've only known your fiance two weeks.  Slow your roll and get to know your fiance before you commit your life to him.

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_our-wedding-plans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f0fd828d-3751-4c15-9d27-ae554b00b52aPost:d03b0869-f89e-495a-8fa2-1bdb2164c536">Re: Our wedding plans</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Our wedding plans : Yes.  Your wedding on April 6 is your wedding.  You don't get to get married and then have a wedding.  What you're planning is a marriage and then a later celebration, or vow renewal if you plan to renew your vows.  The October party is not a wedding. <strong>Why do you want to get married now and then have a big party later?  Why can't you wait to get married, or just scrap the big party altogether?</strong>
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
According to her other post it's because she's known her fiance all of two weeks and they can't wait to get married.  But her family would freak out so they will have the 'wedding" 6 months from now so they can calm down about it.

unionport

Do what your heart tells you to do and don't worry about what everyone thinks.  Those who love you will be happy and attend your celebration in October.

ceh789

Oh dear.

Concerns about rushing into marriage aside, you only get one wedding unless you plan to divorce between and I'd have serious concerns about the officiant who was willing to do the second union.  If you get married April 6, then April 6 will be your wedding.  If you want to have a party in Vegas in 6 months, fine, but you can't get married there as you will already be a married couple.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_our-wedding-plans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f0fd828d-3751-4c15-9d27-ae554b00b52aPost:6ac4fda9-cd80-41cb-bd0b-00c7348d4ebd">Re: Our wedding plans</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our wedding plans : Yep, I just checked out the history and I agree with you.  They want to get married right now so that no one can say anything about how she shouldn't go through with it before the "wedding" since they'll already be married. <strong>OP- How old are you? </strong> I think you should grow up before you get married.  If you don't even have the cojones to get married for the first time in front of your family you have no business getting married.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
They're 33 and 36.

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_our-wedding-plans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f0fd828d-3751-4c15-9d27-ae554b00b52aPost:c8f35e71-b64b-4b5a-bc82-a07fe94b0fd6">Re: Our wedding plans</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our wedding plans : That scares me.  She sounds like she's 15.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
But they're in looooooove and no one could understand that except for them.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_our-wedding-plans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f0fd828d-3751-4c15-9d27-ae554b00b52aPost:c1c1f4ed-bd43-4092-b6ed-1ac3c3ca9a4e">Re: Our wedding plans</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our wedding plans : I was in looooooove once and no one could understand except for us.  Then I found out the guy I looooooooved was actually a dickfaced douchebag in disguise.  It took about 6 months, though.  Thank god I didn't rush into marriage after 12 weeks.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
When I think about how little I knew about FI after dating 2 weeks... holy crap.  And if I had married every guy I've dated who still seemed awesome at 2 weeks I'd be like 9 times divorced by now.

jjolovich

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_our-wedding-plans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:f0fd828d-3751-4c15-9d27-ae554b00b52aPost:c1c1f4ed-bd43-4092-b6ed-1ac3c3ca9a4e">Re: Our wedding plans</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Our wedding plans : I was in looooooove once and no one could understand except for us.  Then I found out the guy I looooooooved was actually a dickfaced douchebag in disguise.  It took about 6 months, though.  Thank god I didn't rush into marriage after 12 weeks.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]


This!!! I did the same thing and i was in OP's shoes, i was only with the guy for 2 weeks, got married, next day he was deployed for a year, he came back and was a(thanks linger) dickfaced douchebag in disguise!!! Take your time don't rush it!! My family was furious over it!!

baystateapple

H told me after three weeks that he wanted to marry me.  Freaked me the fuuck out.  I'm glad we waited a year and a half to engaged, and another year and a half to get married.  Even then, I still didn't know him the way I know him now.

MrsMack10612

Boy - I feel like such a turtle around here - we were together for 8.5 years before he proposed and it will be 11.5 before we get married.

Granted we knew we wanted to get married early on...

RailWayWife

WAIT! What is the rush?? Why do people feel they need to get married NOW NOW NOW!?!?!   This explains why divorce rates are so high...

RebeccaB88

Grow up and pick one wedding or the other.  You get ONE wedding. ONE.  Unless you divorce in between.  Sorry, but I think you're acting like a child here.  If he's the right one on April 6, then he'll still be the right one in the fall.  If you want the PPD, then you need to suck it up and wait until you can do that.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_our-wedding-plans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f0fd828d-3751-4c15-9d27-ae554b00b52aPost:a0348de1-1c9b-4cd0-8db1-9faf7f0283d2">Re: Our wedding plans</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope!  My mother went through a very long and drawn out divorce with her ex-husband.  He lived in another state and there were just to many issues to get into why it took so long but when it fianlly came through, her and my dad were so happy they called their Pastor and were married that night.  They had been waiting for so long and it made them happy to finally be able to do it!  They had a bigger, family wedding later on for everyone.  It's one of the biggest, happiest moments of your life.  It should be exactly what you both want because you're the one's who are going to be thinking back about your wedding for the rest of your lives.
Posted by angelbaby725[/QUOTE]

More and more you convince me that the Knot isn't for you.

rlavach

Oh my, well I won’t just repeat what all of the PP have said. They’re all on the money. My FI told me he loved me in 1 month & that he wanted to marry me 1 month after that. Let’s just say I didn’t react the way he expected. We waited about 1 year to get engaged & although it was hard, I’m glad we do. You learn SO MUCH in that time & I know I have a whole lot more to learn.

Chelseaclayy

I always find it pretty obnoxious when people try to do the whole "small civil ceremony now, big wedding later" deal. (Im not calling you obnoxious OP, just calling the idea obnoxious.) Unless it's a special situation, which it doesn't sound like yours is. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too.